Rake Interviews Lamont of “Online Pickup Secrets” (Part 1)
Derek Lamont is an online pickup expert men with expertise in attracting and seducing women on Facebook, MySpace and online dating websites. There is definitely a shortage of quality online attraction advice – and Derek Lamont’s system is widely lauded as one of the very few which is seen to have ‘cracked the code’.
I’ve known Lamont for some time now, and I can personally attest to the effectiveness of his online dating strategies. I am absolutely not an authority on online seduction – so I’ve asked Lamont to give us some useful pointers for all DerekRake.com readers on the topic of online attraction.
Derek Lamont’s a top guy, and I am not saying that because we share the same first name. =)
Derek Rake: Lamont, you’ve come to known as one of the very few who has ‘cracked’ the code of online game and attraction. How did you get started in online game?
Well, I started off as a complete and utter failure. And I’m only half joking.
You see, Derek, I did not experience any success in the dating world – the number of times I was rejected and got laughed off my face was simply staggering. So I figured that online dating would be a suitable for me because I didn’t even have to worry about rejection at all then. Great!
To my disappointment, I did not experience any success at first because I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing. It sucked…real bad. I simply didn’t know how to be attractive to women at all.
Derek Rake: Dude, we can all relate to that, surely. How did you go from the proverbial ‘loser’ online to what you are today?
I pretty much did the same thing every other guy was doing and approaching women in the same “creepy” way… and I didn’t even know I was doing it.
The turning point came when I met my amazing friend who was an online attraction MASTER. I won’t be exaggerating much if I call him “nasty-looking” – he looked like a midget with the face of Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and a receding hairline. But yet, he always somehow managed to get the women he wanted. The dude’s 32, but he has been dating younger women who were all over him. It was mind blowing!
I literally arm-twisted him to reveal to me his secrets on how to attract, meet, and seduce women on online dating websites and Facebook. We spent about 14 hours glued on the PC while he showed me the whole shebang – the profiles he set up, the messages he sent, and the chicks he gamed online.
I was hooked ever since that fateful day. It became my passion to figure out how to get the girls I saw on my screen into my bed.
Derek Rake: So was that how you came up with the idea of teaching online game?
Yeah, but there’s more to that.
You see, I then got together with some of the craziest online daters in the world who have mastered the art and science of online attraction.
Derek, these guys are geniuses, plain and simple. I decided to write this book because I was so blown away by what I had found – and thought it would be useful to any guy who wants to find women to date online.
Coming up next in part 2 of the interview: Derek Lamont talks about the BIGGEST factor that will make or break a guy’s success in online dating, and how mastering Instant Messaging is crucial in online pickup.
Rake Interviews Lamont of “Online Pickup Secrets” (Part 2)
This is the second part of the interview with Derek Lamont, online pickup expert.
Derek Rake: Moving on to juicier stuff now…what would you say is the BIGGEST factor in whether a guy will be good in online attraction?
Having at least half a brain! Not to sound condescending, but I’ve taught so many men – all of different shapes, sizes, ethnicity, and everything in between – on how to pickup beautiful women online. They have all become at least moderately successful – with a couple totally hit the ball out of the park.
So really, if you can type and you know how to speak the same language the girls you’re targeting, you can do it. I mean, trying to pickup a girl in a totally different language isn’t going to work, I suppose… although I’ve never tried it.
Let’s face it – some guys just don’t like approaching women in public. I still do ‘cold approaches’ as such, but approaching women online is a real and amazing alternative.
Derek Rake: Now that we are talking about approaching women “offline” – is picking up women online any different from offline?
Yes, of course!
Derek Rake: How so? Reason I am asking is that the theories and techniques you teach (Prize Theory, Binary Theory, Alpha Male Characteristics, Barnum Statements, Psychological Manipulation Techniques, and Hierarchy of Needs) could easily be used in picking up women ANYWHERE – and not just in the online world.
Glad you asked!
The biggest difference between real life pickup and online pickup is the conveyance of physical attributes and voice tonality. I mean, in real life, you could say something and convey a particular emotion through your body language and voice tonality. Online, you have no such luxury. So therefore, you have to compensate for this.
Does this mean online pickup is HARDER? Sometimes… but surprisingly, the majority of the time it can be much easier.
However, I do think it’s important to get in the correct frame of mind before picking up women ANYWHERE. That’s why I go through all that psychological, confidence building material in my program. That alone has seriously helped a lot of the guys I’ve taught be better with women in general.
Derek Rake: Why do you think that establishing first impressions is the most important step in one’s endeavor to attract women online?
First impressions matter very much… in real life AND especially online. But if you fumble in real life, it’s very easy to recover (Derek: see this article on stages of love). Online, it’s quite difficult due to the lag time in between messages. Therefore, it is absolutely critical that your opening message compels a beautiful woman to message you back.
Men that don’t manage to do this will never be successful with women online. A lot of attractive, high quality women get anywhere from 10-50 messages a day!
So if your first message doesn’t interest them, it will go straight to their trash can. Even if she responds to you, it’s likely that it’s out of politeness, and you’ll be friend-zoned in no time. Just look out for the obvious friend zone signs!
After that, it’s extremely hard to build rapport at all. The opening message has GOT to be perfect. I went to huge lengths putting as much work in this section as possible in my program because it really is so important. Otherwise you’ll be spending most of your time and effort focusing on how to escape the friend zone – which will be a waste.
Coming up next in the final part of the interview: Derek Lamont talks about the importance of the “Second Message”, and how the mastery of Phone Game is essential to picking women up on the Internet.
Rake Interviews Lamont of “Online Pickup Secrets” (Part 3)
This is the third (and final) part of the interview with Derek Lamont, online pickup guru. The first two parts of the interview could be found here and here.
Derek Rake: You talked about The Second Message that a guy will send to a girl after the ‘approach’. I especially liked what you said about email blunders that guys make when they send that second message. What are the mistakes to avoid?
They generally cover the syndrome that most guys get when the successfully receive a response back from a beautiful woman. They think, Oh my goodness! She must be interested in me. I need to start showing that I’m really interested in her! While you must show interest in return – the right kind of interest of course, most men tend to overdo it.
There are generally 6 types of mistakes men do in this area. I’ll cover one of them right now – as a bonus to DerekRake.com readers.
Some guys will do the whole “compliment her looks” thing. I mean, great, she replied to you. But you’re giving her way too much power by saying that you are physically attracted to her.
At this point of the game, it’s overboard and you shouldn’t say anything too positive about her looks just yet.
Women love the mystery, and it’s SO easy to convey mystery through text – so exploit this! Don’t let her know what you FULLY think about her. Not yet, anyway.
Derek Rake: This is really similar to what I teach my students. Never ever comment on the looks of a gorgeous woman – she has heard it many, many times before. You’ll sound just like the other guys – who she has rejected many times also.
Derek Rake: Now about Instant Messaging (IM) game. Could you give us the ‘skinny’ on how to be good at gaming women via IM? How to keep a woman interested when messaging her online?
Sure thing, Derek.
The IM game is really a lot of fun and this is where you can easily set up a phone conversation. And I emphasize on the word EASILY.
When you’re running game on IM, remember that setting up the phone conversation is the goal here. You need to open quickly, initiate compelling topics of conversation. You will need to build trust and rapport… and you must do ALL of this before initiating a call to action to start a phone conversation. Then… you ask her out.
I will kid you not here. This really takes time. Don’t believe anyone who try to sell you the ‘silver bullet’ to online attraction success.
The unfortunate fact is that most men rush the trust-building phase. And like real life pickup, you have to look for online IOI’s or online indicators of interest. The other side of the coin is also important: knowing how to tell if your girlfriend is losing interest is also important.
Derek Rake: What are the examples of ‘online’ IOIs?
This can range from several things – such as an increased willingness to talk with you, decreased intermission between messages, emotional indicators like “lol” and “haha” that she may convey, etc. That’s really the overall gist of it.
Derek Rake: So you’re saying that after getting the IOIs, you will need to spend some time to build rapport. I can see lots of similarities with ‘offline’ game here.
However, too many men are just much too impatient and overlook this important rapport building phase. Dude, I know it’s hard when you’re sitting there by yourself with her hot Facebook pictures in front of you. But that’s where all the weaker men fall into the trap. They simply don’t know how to seduce women online when they are not seeing them face-to-face.
Derek Rake: Why did you write an entire chapter on ‘Phone Game’? Don’t you think that it is not relevant in a manual on online dating?
It’s actually extremely relevant. The phone is a vital, essential, and necessary step if you ever want to actually MEET those girls that you have approached online. And if you can get to this point and KNOW what you’re doing on the phone, setting up a first meet is so easy.
I honestly can’t even remember a time when I’ve talked to a girl on the phone and NOT successfully built any attraction. It’s really the easiest way to close the deal and many men don’t realize it… without having to use complicated Mind Control techniques.
The tips that I tell you in this chapter will help you when talking to ANY girl on the phone – not just ones you meet online. It’s really my secret weapon.
Derek Rake: How about non-dating websites? Social networking websites are all the rage right now. Are these any different from dating websites? I know we have talked a little about Facebook… but I want to know about social networking sites in general.
There are some obvious differences. First of all, it’s obviously takes more effort to pick up a girl on Facebook than it is to pick up a girl on say… Plenty of Fish. This is because many women on Facebook aren’t LOOKING to meet any guys, but yet they get harassed by men all the time.
It can get pretty annoying – I mean, all those guys that are hitting on them are probably creeps who have no idea what they’re doing. You need to nail the basics of attracting women before even attempting something like that…
So yes, the approach is completely different. You still need a GREAT profile, but the trust building and the rapport building on Facebook (or MySpace for that matter) is a totally different beast.
Derek Rake: Last question. If there is one thing that a guy can do to be good at online dating immediately, what would be it?
Fix the damn profile!
Too many guys out there have just the most ridiculous, creepy-looking pictures and they don’t bother getting ‘social proof’. It doesn’t matter how good your first message is, if you don’t have the right pictures or the right content in your profile, it won’t even matter.
A girl won’t even think about responding if you haven’t covered this portion of your online game.
Meeting Up With An Online Date
This is a followup to my previous guide on online seduction. So what’s next after you hit it off with a woman online? What else, but meeting up with her!
Going out on a date or “meet up” with someone you’ve met online is like going on a blind date with a slight edge. You practically have not seen each other and you hardly know people together. All that you know about your supposed date was everything that her Facebook or dating site profile says she is, and what she says about you.
And so far, you’ve been getting more interested in what you see and you want to know more. How do you go about this first meeting thing? When do you propose it in the first place? How is it any different from the usual dating? Should it actually be any different?
Meeting A Woman Face-To-Face After Online Approach: A Guide
First things first. Go through this Shogun Method guide to attracting women to get ready for the face-to-face. Also, if you know a technique like fractionation your success rate will go through the roof – click here for the guide.
Then, follow these tips:-
- Go beyond text chats. It’s easy to make up a fake personality on IM-ing. It’s even easier to simply just grab someone’s photo on Google or Facebook and put it on as theirs. To at least verify someone’s personality, try video calling on Skype – at least you know what to expect when you get to meet up later. I would also recommend communicating through more traditional means of communication – phones.
- Give yourselves at least a month before you meet up. Here’s a good guide on when to take online dating to the next level. Given that you guys talk with each other regularly enough for you to want to actually meet her in person, a month’s worth of communication should get some make you comfortable with each other. It will hopefully take some of the jitters off of your body on your actual date. It will also give you more time to get to know each other so you more or less know what to expect when you finally get to meet her.
- Don’t expect too much on your first date. A lot of men, just because he met her off some dating site, expect things to escalate rather quickly on the first date. Keep your expectations about how the date would go to a minimum. In fact, don’t expect or plan for it to last more than two hours. It’s just your initial date anyways – get to know each other, get a feel of how each other is in person, and put a real face to the person on the laptop screen.
- Meet in a public place. If you think safety precautions in meeting your online friends are only for women, then you are absolutely wrong and thinking dangerously. Ever heard of gangs, syndicates and crime rings? You could be their next victim and the girl you’ve been meeting online might be their bait. So the safest way to go is to meet her in a public, crowded place and have some friend drop you off. Let your friend have a good look at her just to be on the safe side of things.
With the world becoming virtually smaller, meeting people online is not surprising. Keep your mind open to possibilities but don’t expect too much and never give too much personal information until you have proven her trustworthiness. Remember… there’s a lot of female psychopaths and sociopaths on the prowl!
When she’s finally fallen in love with you face-to-face, then it’s up to you to pursue her as an option for a long-term relationship, or to keep her as a “friend with benefits”. Your choice entirely!
What Are The Secrets To Success When It Comes To Online Dating?
“I have never tried gaming girls online before, but I would like to learn how to get this done.” – Cameron B. from Belleville, ON
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
There are lots of factors in play when it comes to online gaming. As a matter of fact, I have been designing his very own system for several years now and he is amazing when it comes down to it.
I’m actually quite great at it myself, most of all nowadays where designing and writing these emails have been taking up most of my time.
This is why I use plentyoffish.com more frequently now. I can’t really get to all of the details of it right now. However, I can share the ideal first message with you:
Don’t copy this word for word, though, or you might lose some power in the process. You’re about to see why in a bit.
- Let her know that you have read her entire profile and that you find her pictures cute. Make sure you use “cute” because it is the most intriguing word to use in this case.
- Mention something that you found interesting in her profile. Make sure you quote things, too; this means pasting several lines taken from her profile onto your message. This works because nobody really does it and she will be complimented that you did.
- Tell her you want to chat with her sometime. This won’t put too much pressure on her, so she is sure to reply to your message afterwards.
If you do these things, you will find yourself miles ahead of the other men out there who are also trying their luck at online dating today. Remember… rooting your approach in principles of female psychology will do you good… even when you’re trying to attract a woman online.
What Is The Real Deal With Online Dating Websites?
“Derek, what do you think of online dating websites such as eHarmony.com?” – Marcus K. from Palmerton, PA
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Personally, I love them. I actually meet the majority of my women (around 90% of them) offline, but dating websites are still great – eHarmony.com and plentyoffish.com, in particular. You should definitely check out plentyoffish.com since it is free; you can always find much hotter women on websites that are free. (Women enter to check things out instead of shelling money out for dating, which is apparently the man’s job.)
I suggest having dating websites only as a small part of your diet in meeting women. Yes, you should meet some women over the Internet, but you should meet them during the daytime, too.
You should talk to women that work at restaurants, bars and stores that you frequent, as well, and meet them at bars and clubs at night. You can even flirt with girls in your workplace a bit, if you want.
By doing this, you will fill up your whole life with lots of women and develop your skills naturally by getting more experience overall. This will make it much easier to meet women in any place of your choice in the long run.
Just keep in mind that if you keep going to one place to meet women, you will end up relying on that place far too much. It doesn’t matter who you are, really.
Besides, when you actually meet hot women, you’ll probably have no idea what to say because there are no edited messages to rely on. So get some practice at meeting women anywhere, starting from today. 🙂
Why Do I Find The Online Game So Hard?
“I’ve actually been reading your stuff for quite some time now and they truly make a ton of sense to me. So, firstly, I want to thank you for all of it. I’m Damon, 24 years old. I’m not hideous or overweight, but I have come to find that I lack something in the game overall. I tend to say or think wrong things and I have been hurt pretty badly by women who play mind games. Here’s an example. I have joined several dating websites over the last four years, all of which promised to deliver. I actually went so far as to do research, so my profile doesn’t have anything wrong with it.
Anyway, I truly believe that the women on these dating websites just look at the amount of emails or requests that they get, so they can brag about it before deleting all of it. That’s why I decided to give up dating websites to meet women through friends instead. I don’t have kids, either, but I find it hard to find attractive women without one. I don’t want a pre-made family, no matter how much the kids are helping their parents out. I mean, why bother? The majority of single mothers today have been so hurt that they won’t even be willing to give guys a chance anymore. They’ve become stone-cold, emotionally unavailable women and so there’s not point. They just think you’re guilty from the off. I work with this hot girl and I try to stay simple so she won’t get scared because we work together, but I do hope she sees me as a friend for a while, so we can keep exchanging small talk. I just lost complete confidence in myself and have no idea how to get things back to normal. I will appreciate any advice you have. Thank you, Derek.” – Albert P. from Calgary, AB
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Hi, online dating really is hard. There are tons of things to it that normal game just doesn’t have to deal with. So, my piece of advice is this:
1. Stay offline for now and improve your skills with actual women for a while. Get some real live experience, so to speak. This is sure to improve your confidence overall.
2. Quit beating yourself up about it. People make mistakes. But just because these mistakes are made doesn’t necessarily mean that you are one. So just relax, breathe and enjoy the whole ride. 🙂
How To Seduce A Woman Online
If you are not already leveraging the internet in order to meet women then you are definitely missing out. In fact, Facebook seduction is one of the “final frontiers” as far as dating and seducing women is concerned. It is important for any guy to master this new medium – and once you have completely acquired online seduction skills you will start to wonder why you didn’t get started earlier.
Using Fractionation Online – Does It Work?
Fractionation (a component of Shogun Method) is one of the cornerstones of my teachings. Originated within the hypnosis and persuasion circles in the early days (think Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung), it has since been adapted into mainstream dating and attraction by pioneers in the underground Internet seduction communities. Interestingly, it is also one of the best ways on how to seduce a woman online because there’s more emphasis on WHAT to say than HOW to say it. Seduction has never been easier… especially when you know how to hypnotize someone into falling in love with you.
Facebook Seduction – What You Need To Know
It gets easier nowadays to meet women because of Facebook. However, always bear in mind that meeting the woman in person is always the goal, and don’t fall into the trap of gaming a woman too long online. Always switch between media (text, Facebook, IM, email) to create that “illusion of familiarity” – similar to the location bounce technique if you are into cold approaches.
In summary, in order to completely make online seduction work in your favor, then follow these tips and techniques:-
- Remember that your goal is to get a date with the woman. Online seduction gets stale very quickly.
- Use Fractionation as part of your online seduction arsenal – together with your usual Derek Rake stable of techniques (rapport creation, storytelling, psychological manipulation, rapid escalation).
- Switch media frequently, and drive scarcity in order to create value (this is one of the few areas which work better online than offline).