From my work here at DerekRake.com (and the blogs and magazines that you have read), you may think that I’ve always been one of the world’s biggest authority on mind control attraction while in fact I was the total opposite.
You see, back when I was in my mid 20’s, I was just a regular guy with a job as a computer programmer in a mid-sized company. I made pretty good money, I drove an Acura, and I was renting a nice one-bedroom apartment in Chicago overlooking the lake. While I was not handsome by any standard, I was what most women would agree to be moderately decent looking. Also, I made sure that I was in shape by working out regularly, and I had smart, clean clothes on me, all the time.
And despite all this, everywhere I go, no women would hardly ever take a second look.
OK, it’s embarrassing for me to admit this to you now, but when it came to women, I was a complete and utter disaster. In fact, I would only be half joking if I would tell you that my dating life was as dry as Fred Flintstone’s feet.
As you can imagine, it was extremely frustrating because whenever I am attracted to a woman, she was never attracted to me in return. Now looking back, I could understand why this was so because whenever I would meet a beautiful girl, I would totally freeze up, or worse, start fidgeting uncontrollably and nervously.
Even since I was a kid, I had always been awkward socially, and I found small talk to be especially tiresome and excruciating. I was painfully insecure.
And for these reasons, as you can imagine, I wasn’t exactly the most popular guy around.
At my workplace, for example, I almost never get invited to drinks after office hours. And women in the office usually avoided me like a plague because they didn’t want to feel uncomfortable.
I found that they even had a joke name for me which they had called me behind my back, and it was “Derek McFly”. Yes, they nicknamed me after George McFly. You know, the ugly, eccentric, socially-awkward loser from the movie Back To The Future.
Yes, it was that bad.
I Thought I Was Destined To Be Lonely Forever
So for a very long time, I had fully resigned myself to the fact that I was destined to be alone forever. And so when Brandy, the new girl in the marketing department gave me her number, I completely transformed into a nervous wreck.
Deep down I felt that she was totally out of my league and I thought she was trying to pull a fast one on me because I was convinced that there was no chance in hell that she would even be remotely interested. Yes, that was how low my self-esteem was… I kid you not.
I thought she was really pretty with her straight brunette locks and dark hazel eyes… and I would do anything to have her as my girlfriend… anything. She was so perfect… a ten out of ten, no doubt about that.
The best thing about her was that she didn’t treat me like a social leper like the others. She would come sit next to me in the office pantry during lunch because being the social misfit I was, I would be usually be eating all my myself.
She was so nice to me that I finally managed to convince myself that she liked me for real, and I then mustered enough courage to ask her out on a date on a Saturday night. To my surprise, she agreed (yay!), and I went all out to make sure that she had a good time. Champagne, candlelight dinner, expensive roses, limo rides, you name it.
We had one heck of a time. But except for the thirty seconds when she let me held her hand while we crossed the road, she showed me no signs at all on how she felt for me.
At the end of the date, as I walked her out of the limo to her door, I awkwardly tried to give her a goodnight kiss. As I tried to press my lips against hers, she turned her face away in disgust, and my heart sank.
The worse part was that when I saw her at the office on Monday, she seemed to have turned really cold towards me.
When we met briefly at the office pantry in the morning, I asked her what would be the best time to meet again, but she kinda avoided the question. She then told me that she was in a rush, and she asked me to text her if I needed to tell her anything important before she hurried away with her coffee. 🙁
As you can imagine, I was so nervous and confused that over the next few hours, I had sent her some seven texts and left her three voice mails. And guess what, she never replied.
(Looking back, it’s kinda ironic because if I used the Strawberry Fields routine inside the Dark Rake Method, all this wouldn’t have happened.)
And It Just Got A Little Worse…
Over the week, I was starting to see her less and less, and I could feel that she was trying to avoid me.
I guess I should’ve gotten the hint that she was losing interest in me, but stubbornly I refused to give up the dream of having her as my girlfriend. Instead I spent most of my waking hours wrecking my brain trying to figure out something to salvage the situation and get her swinging back into my arms again.
And yet… I was getting absolutely nowhere. Soon, I turned into this complete train wreck of a human being as a result of the emotional hell ride that I was going through. As a result, my work suffered greatly… I was just so unmotivated to do anything.
Depressed, I started to call in sick, and stayed in bed for days. And when I did turn up at work, I turned up late. I was lethargic, lifeless and unproductive… I couldn’t even bear to look at myself in the mirror.
I guess you can say that I had lost my mojo.
And when I missed a couple of important deadlines at work, my 55 year old boss Duncan summoned me into his room and breathed fire in my face. He told me that if I didn’t buck up, I would be out of a job in two weeks.
Shocked, I limped out of his room with my head hung low. For the rest of that day, I tried my best to sober up… I knew I needed to put the disastrous “Brandy” episode behind me, and get my life back in order again because my job was the only thing I’ve got going for me in my life at that time. And getting fired would really as good as putting the final nail in my coffin.
So the next day I dragged myself out of bed at 6am, gave myself a short pep talk in the mirror, took a nice, warm bath, dressed myself up in my best work attire, and drove to the office.
I arrived at 7.15, and since it was so early, I was surprised to see that Duncan was already in. His room was lit up but the blinds were down and so I couldn’t see him. But I was sure he was there, because I could hear him talking to someone. Perhaps he was on the phone, I had thought.
Desperate to get back into Duncan’s good books, I made my way to his room, wanting to beg for a second chance. I couldn’t remember what I was thinking when I forgot to knock before I opened the door…
…then, right there, in that moment, I saw it.
Duncan was sitting behind his desk with his hair slightly messed up and a couple of his shirt buttons undone. A young woman was sitting on his lap and kissing him passionately while his hands hungrily fondled her hair, neck and breasts.
I was completely stunned, and I stood there unable to move for some time which felt like eternity. They were so engrossed with the act that it took them a good couple of seconds before they saw me at the door with my jaws wide open.
And when woman turned around, I finally saw who she was.
It was Brandy.
As Brandy’s eyes landed on me, her face turned to shock and horror. And she started yelling at me to get out, that I should have “respected their privacy” and that I had “no right to barge into anyone’s room like that”.
Hearing this, my confusion soon turned into seething anger as my body started shaking with uncontrollable rage. And I ran out feeling deeply disgusted, slamming the door behind me.
Feeling sick to my stomach, I dashed to the bathroom and went into a stall. There, I sat on the toilet bowl and cried quietly for more than an hour, feeling really sorry for myself.
My self-esteem had indeed hit rock bottom, and man, I tell ya, I never felt so down in my whole life.
And I was disappointed not because Brandy preferred some old, fat, balding jerk over me. I was angry at myself for always screwing things up again and again. And I just couldn’t seem to break this endless cycle of pain, frustration and heartbreak.
I then decided that enough was enough. I knew that I could not go through the rest of my life like this. And I became insanely determined to get this attraction thing handled… or I would die trying.
I told myself that I would never let failure with women imprison me again.
That night, I wrote a quick, courteous email to Duncan to tell him that I quit, and I started Googling for answers.
I typed in things like “how to meet women” and “how to make a woman fall in love with me” only to find stuff which is related to what’s known as the “seduction” or “pickup” community.
After spending some time learning some of those “Pickup Artist” stuff, I felt really turned off. Not only because they sounded really cheesy and childish, I was not the kind who would go to smoky bars and night clubs just to hit on women. One night stands with strangers were not what I was looking for.
PUA Stuff Didn’t Cut It For Me
Pickup Artist (PUA) techniques might work for some, but not me simply because my problems with women were really deep-rooted.
I had desired something deeper, something more meaningful (and maybe somewhat sinister even!)… in short, I wanted to be able to control any woman’s mind, thoughts and feelings. I wanted women to completely surrender to me, fall in love, and obey all my wishes.
And most of all, I never wanted to feel powerless with women again.
As you can see now, what I desired was way beyond what the mainstream “seduction” community could ever give me. And while most guys in my position would probably go buy the latest Pickup Artist ebooks, I went to an underground source called the Darknet.
And if you’ve not heard about the Darknet, this was where whistle-blower sites like Wikileaks and online black markets like Silk Road originally came from. Here’s Darknet’s Wikipedia entry.
As you can imagine, all kinds of dubious characters could be found lurking within the Darknet. But it was also the place where forbidden knowledge about mind control was being shared behind closed communities.
Turning To The Dark Side
I was fortunate to gain access to one such community in the Darknet dubbed the MKDELTA – named after the notorious covert mind control program masterminded by the government back in the 70’s.
The members of the MKDELTA community shared insider techniques about how to covertly control human behavior but I was only interested in one thing: how to use mind control to attract women.
The stuff that I discovered inside the MKDELTA group really blew my mind… and it was nothing that I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And you know what, this stuff is 1,000 times more hardcore than the PUA garden variety.
Members of the MKDELTA group knew how to guard their secrets only too well… because the truth was that the less people found out about their tactics, the better it would be for them in the know.
During the three years I was in the group I completely immersed myself in mind control techniques…
…and this was when I truly turned to the dark side.
I ended up formulating a step-by-step method on how to use stealthy mind control techniques on women and generate raw, almost animalistic attraction to me. You might have already seen this if you have access to the Dark Rake Method.
As for MKDELTA, some of its members have migrated here in DerekRakeHQ (currently hosted here) where we continue to innovate with the latest mind control attraction techniques. It’s simply mind-blowing how far we have come as a group.
After having coached more than 10,000 men (one of which wrote a review of my work here), I am convinced that “going Dark” is the best way to gain an upper hand in dating and attracting women. In this day and age, if you don’t have “dark” techniques like hypnosis, mind control and specific tactics like Boyfriend Destroyers then you’ll get absolutely killed by those who do (i.e. those following the Derek Rake style of seduction).
Do the smart thing: join me.