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“My Marriage Is Over. What Do I Do Now?”
Sometimes, I think life would be easier if it was like a Ziggy cartoon.
Things would be simple.
Everyone would walk around with little smiles on their faces. You’d constantly feel warm and fuzzy inside. Nothing bad would ever happen.
But on the other hand, nothing interesting would ever happen, either.
Because no one would ever face any serious conflicts.
And without conflict, we wouldn’t know how to persevere. We would never grow. We would never change and develop as people.
What would be the point of that?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that conflict, for its own sake, is good.
Look at it this way:
Conflict is important for mental and emotional growth.
And the greater the conflict, the greater the growth.
Think of a wildfire.
Under normal conditions, fires strengthen woodland ecosystems.
They clear out dense or dying plants and give larger. They give sturdier plants room to breathe. They help to enrich the soil and foster new growth.
And that new growth is healthier and stronger than ever before.
Guess what? The same is true of interpersonal conflicts.
Yes, they challenge and even threaten our relationships. But those relationships emerge stronger and more resilient…
… but if, and only if you know how to manage the conflict.
Because, if you don’t, strife can burn even the sturdiest of relationships to the ground.
Yes, even that fabled Redwood we call marriage.
Table of Contents
Are You Seeing Signs Of A Broken Marriage?
“I think it’s over,” is what Conrad said to me.
“You think?” I asked him, leaning back in my office chair.
He ran a hand through his hair. “It seems like it’s over.”
I nodded. “I understand, it can feel overwhelming. Just talk me through it.”
He shrugged. “We’re just always at each other’s throats. Not even over anything important—just ‘cause. It’s never a conversation or a discussion.”
“It’s always just a fight.”
“Yeah, it’s always a fight.”
“One that neither of you can ever win, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.” He cleared his throat. “We used to get over this stuff in no time when we were younger. And then, the makeup sex was amazing. But now—well, we never cross that finish line anymore.”
I scrutinized him. Dark bags under his eyes. Slumping a little in his seat. Speaking slowly and a bit too deliberately.
“Conny, you look exhausted. Are you getting enough sleep, man?”
He shrugged again. “Mostly.”
“Using a little of the old sleeping tonic, eh?”
He grinned sheepishly. “Guilty as charged. It’s the only way I can make all this shit stop running through my head at night, every time I try to close my eyes. My marriage is over and I don’t know what to do.”
“This is really eating you up, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is!” That little mini-outburst was the most animated I’d seen Conrad since his trouble started. “I love Sheila! I want to do anything I can to make this work—I just can’t figure out what I need to do!”
Signs Your Marriage Is Failing: A Shortlist
Conrad’s distress was understandable. Most men in his position feel that way.
You thought long and hard if you should marry her. Once you’ve decided, you’ve devoted your whole life to a woman. You loved her deeply.
In theory, anyway.
In reality, you’re driving each other out of your fucking minds. She’s a crazy bitch and it’s driving you insane.
Naturally, you want to find a solution. But first, it’s important to identify the signs that your marriage is failing.
How To Know When Your Marriage Is Over (Look Out For These Ten Signs)
- Mutual contempt replaces spousal respect. Instead, all you give each other is disrespect. The best you can offer is malign disinterest.
- She’s open about her ongoing affair. This is one of the most dangerous indicators of a failing marriage. She won’t realize that the grass isn’t greener until she’s packed up and left your pasture. (To know if she’s cheating on you, look for these signs.)
- Life without her seems like a dream come true. You’re only happy when there’s distance between you. You enjoy your time apart from her way more than you enjoy time with her—if you still enjoy the latter at all.
- You have fights, not conversations. It might even be the same fight, over and over again. Her narcissism has gone through the roof.
- You compete to be right. Everything you say about each other is a harsh criticism.
- Problems arise everywhere. Neither of you is interested in finding solutions to them, just placing blame.
- The relationship lacks physical contact, especially sex. Lack of emotional connection often follows after stopping physical intimacy. She has lost interest in you, physically and emotionally.
- You experience, or detect, emotional withdrawal and isolation. You have no desire to open up to each other anymore. She becomes an emotionally unavailable woman.
- She starts playing mind games on you.
- One or both of you engage in substance abuse and addictive behavior. Sometimes, it seems like the bottle is the only that thing that really works anymore.
Granted, this isn’t an exhaustive list. But it does illustrate my point.
Sometimes, there just doesn’t seem to be a way out.
At least, not while keeping your marriage intact.
Take heart, though. There is a way out, and you’ll soon discover how to save a marriage quickly enough.
How To Save A Marriage: What NOT To Do
“So,” I went on, “what are your thoughts on all this? What do you want to do?”
“Save my marriage,” Conrad said flatly.
I chuckled. “At this point, I think that’s a given. What have you tried so far?”
“All the usual stuff,” he said with another shrug. “Talkin’ to her and telling her how I feel. Doing the stuff she asks me, even though she won’t return the favor and meet me halfway.”
“Interesting.” I chewed on my lip for a second or two. “And how did you decide that those were your best courses of action?”
“I did a bunch of research online, read up on how you’re supposed to save a marriage. I’ve tried everything. We’re even going to couples therapy.”
He grimaced, tendons in his neck straining. “Couples therapy. Me. Can you believe it?”
“Yeah,” I told him, “I can believe it.”
But I really, really didn’t want to.
Fake Marriage Advice, And Why You Can’t Trust It
Now, at this point, I was really wishing Conrad hadn’t gone to the internet for advice.
Using Google to figure out woman-based problems is a bad idea.
Because, 99% of the time, you’re going to get one of two things:
- Pop dating advice, which is designed to be bad. The outlets that publish this crap want you to stay miserable. That way, you’ll keep coming back to them for advice. (And they’ll keep earning advertising revenue.)
- Women telling men how to treat women, a.k.a. feminist propaganda. This is like Vladimir Putin saying, “Hey, Ukraine, everything’ll be cool if you just let our soldiers stomp on your faces. Forever. Hey, since you’re already down there, could you go ahead and give us a foot rub? Thanks.”
These are the equivalent of crappy “Pickup Artist” tricks.
Think about it. Pickup artists (may) get you laid. But get this – they don’t help you build a strong relationship.
You can’t erect a skyscraper on a tropical swamp, no matter how hot and wet you like it.
And most online marriage advice will push you toward doing touchy-feely crap like:
- Treat your marriage like your child. It’s your responsibility to keep it alive. Care for it and nurture it and give it lots of kisses and hugs.
- Understand that marriage is a give-and-take relationship. You can’t hold all the power. You have to “share” it. (Spoiler: share means surrender.)
- Don’t rush right to separation and divorce. Take your time to talk through your conflicts. Solving your differences means sharing your thoughts and feelings and ice cream.
- Commit yourself to working through your problems. (You’ll probably hear this advice from someone who will profit from it, like Conrad’s wily marriage counselor.)
- Put aside your expectations and get to know who your wife really is. Stop fixating on the person you want her to be. Even if that person is better.
- Take time to listen. Understand your wife’s hopes and dreams and aspirations, and take the time to help her cultivate them. While you’re at it, go ahead and cook dinner. All the dinners.
None of these things—not even a gourmet dinner—were going to help Conrad.
Or you.
But I’m going to share something that will. Continue reading… you will be surprised at what I am going to share with you next.
How To Save A Marriage, Shogun Style
“But it’s not working, is it?” I asked. “The couples therapy, I mean.”
“Fuck no.”
I nodded again. “That’s not surprising.”
“So,” Conrad asked me, “you got any ideas?”
“A few.” I tapped my lip. “Conrad, there are a couple things that you need to know first. They’re literally the first things I teach students of Shogun Method.”
“Oh yeah? What are they?”
“Well, one is that you can’t ever be honest with a woman. If you reveal your intentions, there’s no intrigue for her. She doesn’t have a plot arc to anticipate.”
“Well, shit.”
“It’s okay. It’s cool. You’re not sunk yet. You can actually make it work in your favor.”
“I thought you just said—”
I held up a hand. “Here’s what you need to do. Go home and tell her that you’ve given it some thought. That you think the two of you should separate for a while.”
Conrad stared blankly at me, torn in two directions.
“It’ll be a complete one-eighty,” I explained. “It’ll throw her off balance, disorient her. She won’t know what’s going on.”
“Are you sure I should do that?”
I stared sternly at him. “Yes, Conrad, I am sure. In fact, it’s absolutely crucial. That’s the foundation of Fractionation.”
“Fractionation?” Conrad furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s that?”
“We’ll get to it in a second. But before I talk to you about Fractionation, there’s one other thing you need to do.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“You must embrace your true nature as a manipulator. You must exert your dominance over her. Because manipulation and domination is the only way you’re going to get Sheila back.”
Fractionation: Your Anti-Divorce Secret Weapon
Listen: your marriage is only over if you decide to let it be over.
If Conrad had chosen not to take my advice, he would have been choosing to let his marriage fail. There’s no question about that at all.
Luckily for him—and Sheila—he listened to me. He took my advice and put it to work for him.
Intrigued by his suggestion that “they should separate for a while”, Sheila insisted that she had a heart-to-heart talk with him.
(And that was when he used Fractionation on her.)
That’s why he and Sheila are still together. Fractionation had fixed her up, and made her emotionally addicted to Conrad.
Do The Same Thing, And Get The Same Awesome Results Like Conrad
So, here’s the deal. If you want your marriage to survive, then listen to me.
Fractionation is a powerful Mind Control technique. It’s a way of hypnotizing a woman without her—or anyone else—ever realizing what you’ve done.
But what I told Conrad to do is just the first step in Fractionation.
Fractionation will take her on a wild, emotional rollercoaster ride. Up and down and back again. At the end of the ride, she will become addicted to you emotionally. And when that happens, divorcing you is a sheer impossibility.
The ball is now in your court. So, what do you say?
Do you want to learn how to use Fractionation on your wife to stop her from leaving you?
Do you want to save your marriage from the impending divorce?
All you need to do is to learn Shogun Method and use it on your wife. Turn her into a submissive wife she’s destined to be.
Do it now. That’s the one crucial step you must take to save your marriage from disaster.
PS: Questions? Comments? Leave me a message below.
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