Narcissist Wife Traits: Is Your Wife A Narcissist, And If She Is, How Do Deal With Her
Is your wife a narcissist?
Actually, scratch that.
Here’s a better question:
Are you stressed out, messed up and sick with anxiety?
Does your marriage make you feel like you’re walking on egg shells?
Or worse… are you shit scared of your wife?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re married to a narcissist.
And before we continue here’s what you need to realize:
Narcissists are DANGEROUS.
Some of the absolute worst people in the world have turned out to be narcissists. You know, cult leaders, serial killers, con men…
And if you think your wife suffers from this mental illness you need to be careful.
You see, narcissistic women are known for being extremely manipulative.
They are experts at charming and seducing men. They can lie with a straight face and will make up wild stories just to get attention.
In short, they know exactly how to make you feel like a million dollars… so that they can manipulate you to do whatever they want.
That being said, remember:
Just because your marriage sucks doesn’t necessarily mean your wife is a narcissist.
So don’t jump to conclusions yet. So, let’s find out more about narcissism… and importantly, if your wife is a narcissist.
Table of Contents
“Is My Wife A Narcissist?”
First, you need to understand what “narcissistic personality disorder” is.
Make no mistake… narcissism is a complex mental health condition.
It’s usually caused traumatic events during childhood, but also has genetic components.
This trauma creates something called a narcissistic wound.
The narcissistic wound causes a “split” in the sufferer’s personality. This split means the narcissist develops a Real Self and a False Self.
Let’s first talk about the False Self.
The False Self is a type of fake persona which the narcissist displays to the world (to cover up their wounded self.)
With this false persona they usually try to project an image of perfection and success.
This can make them seem haughty and stuck up. And it’s also the reason why they’re obsessed with superficial things like money and looks.
(Apparently Taylor Swift is a good example of this type of narcissist.)
Another part of being a narcissist is something called “Narcissistic Supply.”
This can be thought of as a type of “fuel” which keeps them going.
It’s generated by receiving attention, adulation and flattery from other people.
This “fuel” makes the narcissist feel good about themselves.
And you know what? Some of them can become addicted to this “fuel”.
This is why narcissists ALWAYS want attention and validation.
Makes sense, right?
But here’s the problem with that…
If narcissists don’t get attention, they can explode into what’s called Narcissistic Rage.
What’s Narcissistic Rage?
Well, it’s basically a fit of extreme anger, triggered by the withdrawal of Narcissistic Supply.
Narcissist Wife Traits (How To Know If Your Wife Is A Narcissist)
So, here’s the deal…
If you have a wife who…
- Gets angry at you for no reason…
- Acts like she’s better than everyone else…
- Is obsessed with money, status and power…
- Tries to control every little thing you do…and
- Seems to have an endless appetite for attention and validation…
…then there’s a good chance she’s a narcissist.
That’s not all, though. Sorry, but it gets worse…
Because here’s the most dangerous thing about narcissism.
Most narcissists are pathologically self-involved. They believe the world revolves around them.
They have almost ZERO empathy for other people, and a total incapacity to love.
Big red warning sign there, right?
Narcissistic Marriage Problems
I hate to break this to you, but you really MUST know this…
If you’re sure that your wife is a narcissist, then understand this –
There’s a good chance your wife feels absolutely nothing for you.
It also means she will feel nothing about cheating on, lying to or betraying you.
Fucked up, right?
And that’s not all.
All this, added with narcissistic rage, can be a deadly combination.
Ultimately, what you need to realize is this –
Marrying a narcissist is a dangerous, draining and exhausting experience.
It can be downright horrifying and soul destroying.
So, what gives?
How To Deal With A Narcissist Wife
At this point you may think therapy or couples counseling is the answer…
Narcissists are notoriously difficult to treat. Why? Well, they think they’re above therapy.
You see, these people see themselves as superior to everyone else. Get them to admit they have a problem? Haha, good luck with that.
Plus, narcissists will ALWAYS blame other people for their problems.
Worse, your narcissist wife will manipulate the therapist to make it seem as if YOU are the bad guy…
…that YOU’RE in the wrong… and she’s the VICTIM.
Which is why you need to be careful of going to a therapist. (Just don’t, alright?)
So how DO you deal with a narcissistic wife?
Make no mistake… being in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely damaging.
It can mess you up for life.
One other thing to remember:
Narcissism can be caused by a traumatic past. If you’ve known these people it’s difficult not to feel sorry for them.
(If your wife is a narcissist there’s a good chance she’s had a really hard life.)
Here’s the thing… you can’t “cure” narcissism. It’s just not possible.
As much as you love her, realize you really can’t make her a “non-narcissist” overnight, alright?
And you know what? If you do try to help, there’s a good chance she will end up blaming her problems on YOU.
The best thing to do is let her hit rock bottom.
And to be honest with you, if things get really bad, you should seriously consider a break or even divorce.
On the other hand, maybe you want to make it work. You’ve gone too far to throw it all away. You love her, and she’s truly the one for you.
If that’s the case, and you want to know how to save your marriage, you’ll like what I’m about to tell you next.
The Anti-Narcissism “Mind Hack”
Look, I know enough about psychology, hypnotism and women to fill up a ten volume encyclopaedia.
Teaching men how to hypnotize someone into falling in love has been my specialty for more than a decade.
I’m not telling you this to brag. The reality is that I know way more about narcissism than most shrinks.
My personal mentee network of some 10,000 men (many of which have narcissistic wives) will testify to that.
And here’s what I know that mainstream psychologists don’t –
Due to the split in her personality, a narcissist wife is extremely suggestible.
So gaining access to their subconscious mind takes almost no effort at all.
What this means is that Mind Control techniques like Fractionation are brutally effective on them.
We’ll talk about what Fractionation is later, but here’s what you need to know for now –
To deal with a narcissistic woman (and get her to respect you), do this…
- “Hack into her mind” and appeal to her subconscious
- Get a direct connection to her mind, and
- Take almost complete control of her subconscious.
This sounds somewhat “technical”, but guess what? Fractionation will do all this for you, and more.
Pretty exciting, right?
I’m not saying it’s a “magic bullet” solution. (Nothing is.)
And yet, if you’re about to sign divorce papers, it’s worth a shot.
Just remember that your narcissist wife will not admit that she has a problem. She will feel you’ve wronged her, and you’ll be screwed over without mercy.
That being said…
There is a chance you can make your marriage work… as long as you’re willing to be BRUTAL and COLD.
(Yes, you need to be rather cold hearted to use Mind Control. It’s not for lily-livered pussies.)
Put Your Narcissist Wife Under Your Control: Take Action Now
Know this – her narcissism becomes worse as she gets older.
So, you must absolutely make a decision to stay or go before it’s too late.
The last thing you want is to grow old with someone you hate. Or wind up stuck in a loveless marriage with some psycho who slowly drains the life out of you.
Also realize that men often stay with bad women because they are being manipulated.
You need to critically evaluate your relationship and figure out what’s really going on.
Does she really love you, or is she just playing you?
Do you think she’s the best you can do, and because of that, you put up with her abuse?
That’s crazy. With Shogun Method, you can attract any woman you meet anywhere, but that’s beside the point…
You need to solve the “narcissist wife” problem right here, right now. And you can do this by using Fractionation on her.
Here’s the good news: you can learn Fractionation today for free at my Masterclass –
Watch Online Masterclass On Mind Control
You’ll discover how to put even the most difficult woman under your control, dominance and authority. And you’ll do this using nuclear grade Mind Control tactics.
Click on that link, and I’ll see you at the Masterclass.
P.S: Got questions about how to deal with your wife’s narcissism? Post them below and I will answer them personally.
What the heck? Taylor swift is a 100% non-narcissist. Trust me! She’s actually quite the opposite. You mis-identified a personality trait in her!
she is a narc. big time. sorry you cant see that.
iam facing problems with my wife for past 35 years.initially everything was going fine.but as days go i started to lose touch.she lost all interest in her in day and night,she was not happy to spend time with me.there was no encoouragment or never had time to listen.she puts all blame on me.i came to know about narcissit behaviour.it became worse now 7 years back and after that that there was no intimacy or happiness together.4 years back she was behaving like a stranger.i was very upset.but past 2 years i felt no use that she will change and i started to live my way of life.i concentrated on what makes me happy.i got in to my hobbies and diverted my mind.now i feel better that iam not expecting anything from her.i understand i cannt expect anything from her.once you set yourself free and not worrying what she does we feel better.
Derek Rake says
Work on yourself – that’s the key! All changes are internal. Sometimes it’s best to stop working “on” her, and start working on yourself.
Jeremy Howell says
Sounds to me like that I’m a narcissist!
I’ve been in several relationships and 2 marriages all of which I was the bad guy. Then after everything they spot me at the store or the street and say ‘I had it good with you’. This relationship I’m in is not going well and honestly majority of the time she says she don’t trust me, that I’m always joking with female cashiers, etc the list goes on. I’ve been to a therapist before and was told I was emasculated since I was a child. So now few days ago we broke up because she said she was tired of me, etc. And almost over night wants to go to couples counseling which has struck me odd but ok. I feel like it’s not going to work but a friend told me to think positive about it. What can I actually do? I’m at a loss and not sure who to trust or talk to.
Derek Rake says
Couples counseling? That’s ridiculous. Buy Shogun Method and start in stage “R” in the IRAE Model. Forget everything else.
A narcissistic wife can be turned into a loving one. Follow Derek’s advice!
michael corleone says
Here’s the best advice I can offer. There will always be red flags – indicators early on. Look for them and when they show up, bail out quickly. Do not think you can heal them, make them happy inside, or turn them into the person you want. It will never happen. The woman I was involved with was beaten badly by her mother when she was a child and the father Steve Schul_ _ _z drank in bars. Never protected her, never dialed 911, never removed her from the home and the mother. You think she could escape that without being mentally mangled for the rest of her life.
She once looked good but she’s worn out now. You can see it in her face and body. Still, she can easily suck a guy in and will gladly suck a guy off to temporarily fill the void. In order to avoid abandonment she’ll crawl across the room to you or anyone with her thong hanging from her mouth. Trust me on that. And she’s in joy land for a couple of hours feeling wanted and happy. But after she cleans herself up, she has to get dressed and sooner or later drive home alone. And I do mean alone.
There is nothing inside of her. She doesn’t know how to love because she never experienced it as a child. Not even a dog I bought for her. And so everything she does that seems nice is done for the purpose of filling the void in her and avoiding abandonment. Not for you. It’s limited and shallow. Trust me on that too. You are responsible for her self worth, her happiness, her security. Good luck with that if that’s the kind of woman you want. There are no deep meaningful conversations, no real sharing and interest. It doesn’t exist and you can’t change it.
As much as they’re good at presenting a whole self and roping you in, they can’t maintain it very long, because they’re problems are so deeply a part of who they are and they can’t escape them. They don’t really like themselves and never will. They get their self worth from the adoration they seek from others. It’s a horrible way to live, but as long as they can dress up and be taken out, they can escape it for a short time. Fill their voids and they’ll be your slave until they tired of you, or you have needs that require their attention, or they sense abandonment. Then you’ll be devalued and replaced while you’re still together. Then she’ll walk as long as another supply guy is already in place . Look for the early red flags and bail early. Don’t marry them and if you already have, don’t have children with them because kids will suffer and they don’t deserve it. They’re cruel, and they don’t belong on this earth. Look for the red flags early and bail quickly.
Yes Michael Corleone, ….”There are no deep, meaningful conversations, no real sharing or interest. It doesn’t exist and you cannot change it.”!!!
This for me is a highlight of the frustration for me. Honest conversation risks injuring her vulnerable narcissistic inner child which triggers her violent, self righteous ‘victim’ anger she then aims like a fiery dragon to utterly destroy me, my ideas, goals, plans, dreams and self-esteem.
I often experience a panic attack when thinking of discussing any issue with my wife because it is virtually guaranteed she will be uncooperatively prone to anger, ridicule and obstinance. It hurts a lot. It reduces the quality of my life.
Sharing my ideas or vulnerabilities with my wife is like handing her a knife with which she will later stab me.
Yes Michael Corleone, ….”There are no deep, meaningful conversations, no real sharing or interest. It doesn’t exist and you cannot change it.”!!!
Abbitt Wisedom says
Starts out as a knowledgeable piece focused on characteristics narcissistic women and wives that in my humble opinion presents solid information. Suddenly does a involuntary mental health hold 180 and advertises instruction on how to mind control narcissistic women into “respecting you” by hacking her with fractionalization and dominating her. Closely followed by dominate any women with mind control.
I don’t know who is the bigger sociopath suspect you or your supposed narcissist wife.
Dominate a narcissist? Only a narcissist could be that arrogant. They will just try and fillet you as a submissive and what better target then a narcissist. The only way to win the game with this personality, is not to play.
But your stated take on narcissism captivates me.. so I’m thinking I might order this up as somehow you know about this type of person.
How do you do the faux break up when you have young kids? She will just get one of them on the phone to you. I don’t want to ignore my kids for 24 hours or get them worried!
I was married to a narcissist for 14 years. She manipulated me, gaslighted, showed no respect or love for me and had crazy tantrums if I didn’t agree with her. Over the years we almost split up several times but every time I stood at the edge she would threaten me with absolutely anything that she thought would hurt me. Breaking up was going to be too hard. We saw counsellors which helped a bit for short time but nothing really helped. I felt like I was walking on egg shells around her and I became too scared of her reactions to challenge her. Ultimately once she beat me into submission over the years and walked all over me she lost interest. I had funded and supported her starting a new business and as it grew she lapped up all of the positive feedback she got and her self importance went out of control. She told everyone she was making more money than me (untrue) and that her business was worth huge amounts of money. All she did was talk about herself and her business. As time went by she was always “working” and there were more important things for her to do than parent and be part of the family unit. Strangely enough, this period was the happiest part of our marriage to me because she was hardly around and I avoided any conflict with her. The kids and I were happy. She went and bought a convertible, went nuts with botox and got a boob job. We then went to England on holiday to see her family. Things got a little strange there particularly the way her father was treating me. She became confrontational about everything and clearly didn’t want me around when she was with her Dad. It turns out she had told her Dad she was having an affair. After England we were going skiing in Europe. She ended up leaving the holiday before the ski trip because she said she had so much “work” on. When the kids and I got back from our holiday I had several emails to my work email exposing her affair with an older more affluent man (victim). When caught she admitted it (she had no choice) and said she loved him. Then she went around and justified her actions telling everyone including my kids that I abused her and that was why she was so miserable and found her new man. She also then claimed her business was worthless as soon as I mentioned getting it valued for our financial settlement. She sent messages and emails regularly saying how she was in fact the victim and that I needed to “man up” and take responsibility for her infidelity. By this stage I had discovered the “gray rock method” and simply never responded to any of her hateful emails or messages which I knew would drive her quietly insane. The good news is that she is no longer my problem and I’m getting happier and more confident by the day. If you see signs of your partner being a narcissist get out quickly!!!
Phil Collins says
Thank you mate. I only discovered to night what I am actually dealing with. I was on YT when I saw a video of 6 traits of a narcissist, it was only 7mins long so I clicked on it and it was my wife down to a T…… so I started looking around for more info on a narcissist. Shit guys my eyes are wide open now. I had read many books on psychology but none that specialized on a narcissist. I just knew something was not right, TBH I thought she may had suffered some form of sexual abuse. I know that her parents spent weeks away at markets so she has feelings of abandonment because she would have to spend that time at her cousins place, which she ended up staying there even when her parents returned.
Thank you guys I feel much better
A few years ago my cn (covert narcissist) wife stone walled me. No communication whatsoever. I suggested couples counselling, sought immediate help from people around me, worked on myself.
Then I noticed many things. My cn wife of almost 10 years has never been there when I was sick. Never offered any comfort or encouragement when I was down. Makes up lies and blames me for most or her faults while at the same time gas lighting the situation to cover up plain obvious lies.
I deeply love her. But I now know what she is. I also deeply want the life that I have given to her back.
Best way to deal with a narcissist wife is to warn everyone in your family. Then YOUR friends that she has convinced that she is a good person. Don’t waste your time with her friends because most of them will most likely be divorced, man hating , narcissistic bitches who constantly search for validation on social media. They are addicted to it. They can’t put it down.
Then, look at your own behaviors. See if you may have any narcissistic traits yourself. Then work on those. While you do that, make sure to show love to your wife. Or at least try. If she constantly gets annoyed with it, then she knows she is not going to get her narcissistic fuel from you. Ignore her negative reactions. Her projection . Her gaslighting. Etc. she’ll even ask you why you are being so nice then claim that you never do that. Why? To get you to stop doing it because it makes you better than her in her eyes and she doesn’t like that. The. Try to talk to her about a project you wanna work on. If she doesn’t care, or doesn’t seem interested in anything you have to say (because it has nothing to do with her) then you are married to a narcissist.
What to do? Make plans to protect yourself. If you have kids, you’re gonna have to stick with it for the long haul. Don’t bail on them. Because she will get them and use them against you if you divorce her. Protect your assets. Especially anything she bought YOU. Remember, she thinks you think like her and that you value things more than people. Protect them, but don’t WVER give her a hint that she can hurt you by taking them away from you. Protect your heart. Gray stone. Turn your emotions off when around her. Especially when she starts trying to bait you into a fight. She will go nuts. She will act like a psycho. The best thing you can say is that you know what she’s trying to do and you are not going to play her little game. Then walk away and leave it at that. She WILL eventually try to get back into your graces. Of course her goal is to manipulate and control you. Take advantage of that and she will employ her marital obligation to have sex with you. It may be great. It may be just meh. However, expect it to be mostly one sided. You will do most the work. Why? Because she thinks that his offering you her body should is more than enough for you. She thinks she’s doing you a favor. Just get what you can. It’s better than POV porn hub. Until it isn’t. To avoid that situation, don’t make her think you want it or have to have it. The reality is that you do need it, but not always from her. Don’t let her think that she isn’t replaceable. Because she is. It’s a horrible way to think and feel, but YOU HAVE TO. She needs to be brought into reality. Does she have a lot of “ friends “ on social media? Does she have a childhood “ best friend “ that happens to be a guy? She has cheated on you. Chances are that one or more of your kids are not even biologically yours. Guess what?! You get evidence of that and there won’t be a thing she can do to you in court if you plan to divorce her. You cannot do this openly. You also cannot do this while your kids are little. Wait until they are 18. Then give THEM the choice on whether to have the test done or not. It’s going to be potentially traumatic for them and you and getting the test done while they are little, but old enough to know what’s going on, can and will destroy them. You have raised them their whole lives and you love them as your own. Never let them feel like they aren’t your own. Even if they know the truth or the potential truth. As far as you and they are concerned, you ARE the father. If you and they DO decide to have the test done, expect nothing. Change nothing in your relationship with them. If the results come back that you are not the father, then your narcissist wife is going to have 18 years of lies and deceit to answer for. It WILL stand up in court and you MIGHT be able to recoup 18 years of damages from her. She could also potentially be prosecuted if you wish to press charges. Don’t quote me on that. The point is that your friends, your family, her friends and EVERYONE that she convinced that she was the perfect, sweetest wife and person will know the truth of what she did to you and her perfect little image will crumble. She WILL self destruct in true narcissistic fashion. You will be vindicated. No longer will you be called paranoid. No longer will you be called crazy by HER friends that might have gotten involved in your next love life by telling them that you treated their friend (your now ex-wife) like garbage and acted like a paranoid psycho. You walk away with HER no longer looking like the victim she wants everyone to think she is. So, what happens if you get the test done and you ARE the father? Be relieved. Then get counseling for the trauma your wife caused you to the point that she made you feel like she had another man father who you believe to be your child. Then continue to be the best father you can be to your child. However here are some signs that the child might not be yours. The wife doesn’t like it when you set ground rules and limits on that child as they are growing up. She claims you treat them different than the other child. Especially if the child is always getting into trouble and being disrespectful towards you. She will enable their disrespect towards you. She will gaslight you if she finds out that plan to get a paternal test. She will ask you things like “ So what happens if you get the test and she/he IS yours, huh?! “ as if she is daring you to do it. What she is doing is trying to call your bluff or what she thinks is a bluff. If she had nothing to hide, she wouldn’t even attempt to make you doubt yourself. Sure she would get mad, but if she was NORMAL, she would eventually understand that what she did in the past was wrong and that you have a right to know the truth. In that case, if the test comes back that you are the father, then be happy and be the best husband and father you can be. IF she’s not the narcissist. However, if she’s passive aggressively daring you to do it (in hopes that you won’t do it) then there’s a chance that she knows the child is possibly not yours. She is afraid of getting found out. She is afraid of how it will make her look in the eyes of her friends, family, the people she has fooled and the eyes of the child. The child will hate her for being lied to all their life. You will STILL be daddy to them. That will never change. The point is that if you are already married to a narcissist, you have kids that are aware of the world around them, you have to play the long game for them. Then when they are grown, moved out and on their own, make sure that you have taken the measures to protect yourself and your assets and GET THE FUCK OUT. Because when the kids are gone, that narcissist wife will be working over time to make you miserable. Why? Because she’s now old, tired and miserable herself. She will also be ALONE. Let her have her fantasy world in social media. It will never translate into her real life and deep down she knows it. While you are out there living your life with your new found freedom and sanity, she will be trapped in her mind looking for her next victim on social media while claiming she just wants to be left alone or posting the oxymoronic meme of being an introvert. She still doesn’t know who she is and still has no real self worth. She will die with no real self worth. You cannot let yourself be sympathetic towards her at that point. When you are out, no matter how lonely it seems at first, STAY OUT. Don’t go back. No matter how much it hurts to see her miserable. She doesn’t share that sympathy towards you. She has selective feigned empathy. She’s constructing her next love bomb. Just like the narcissistic, feminazi, psycho she is.
Help me, I’m a narcissist.