How To Be Dominant In A Relationship (In Three Steps)
Last Friday, a young man (let’s call him Eli) came to see me during for our weekly office hours session here at Derek Rake HQ in sunny San Diego.
“Derek, I need you to teach me how to be dominant with women, fast.”
“Whoa, hold your horses,” I said to him. “First, tell me more about your relationship.”
“Well, my girlfriend holds the power in our relationship,” he sighed.
“She argues better than I do. Our days revolve around what she wants to do. We moved to the town that she liked, we got a house in the neighborhood she wanted, and we’re following her plan of getting married and renovating the house. She’s really controlling, and I hate it.”
Well, Eli, I thought, this is not unfamiliar to me at all.
Eli slumped into his seat. “But, that’s not the worst part, Derek.”
“The problem is that she doesn’t respect me. It’s the little things… you know, like she gives me orders and doesn’t listen to me. I want to be the alpha male in the relationship so badly.”
“OK, I’m beginning to see a pattern. Tell me, what’s your job?”
“I’m a high school teacher. I teach 8th grade.”
“Mmm, interesting. Do you have any behavior problems in your classes?” I asked Eli.
“I did in the beginning. But once I learned about behavioral psychology, I was able to control the kids easily,” Eli replied.
I smiled. “Look here, Eli. I’ll help you be dominant with women… but first you have to tell me about how you get the respect of your students.”
“But Derek, how will that help me be dominant with women?”
Table of Contents
Why Your Woman Is Disrespecting You
Before I continue with Eli’s story, let me say this:
If you feel that your woman doesn’t respect you, you’re not alone.
Millions of men around the world have the same problem – especially in more “progressive” countries.
Men begin looking for answers.
First, they follow the mainstream advice and try to be her “best friend”.
They let her take the lead. “I’ll have to ask the wife”, “She’s the boss”, etc.
And of course, that fails miserably.
I mean, you can’t get somebody’s respect by giving them everything they want. Common sense, right?
So, what happens? Men overreact and go to the other extreme.
They turn to the “Pickup Artist” or “Seduction” community. They start being a jerk. They play games. They over-analyze every action. They take on a false persona.
Bitterness, creepiness, over thinking, and over-reliance on Pickup Artist tricks.
So, what gives?
How To Dominate Women: In Three Steps
I have an even better idea – there’s a third way…
…a way where you’re not a jerk and you’re not her best friend.
Instead, you’re her master.
And in the rest of this Shogun Method guide, I’ll show you how to become that dominant man.
In fact, I’ll teach you my 3-step formula for complete dominance and authority over women.
Yup, three steps. That’s all it takes.
Like everything inside Shogun Method, brevity is the key. Results are the most important… not elaborate theories on human relationships.
The catch? You’ll need to follow these three steps closely. And that’s the challenge.
And a fair little warning: You might find the information mind-blowing. So if you feel some overwhelm as you’re reading this Guide, I won’t be surprised.
That’s why I prepared something to help you along the way…
Click here to download
It’s my new “How To Be Dominant With Women” Action Checklist. It’s a handy “cheat sheet” that contains a summary of all the information in this guide.
With this Action Checklist, you can learn how to be more dominant in your relationships in a systematic, step-by-step way. You’ll regain your woman’s respect and admiration in much less time and stress.
My “How To Be Dominant With Women” Action Checklist also features a special Bonus Technique that will make things even easier.
It’s a Shogun Method secret technique called “DEVALIDATION,” and it’s another powerful way to assert your dominance with women.
With Devalidation, you just make a slight adjustment in the way you speak to your woman. And over time, she becomes less abrasive and more respectful… less of a pain and more of a joy to be with.
It’s that powerful, and I can’t wait for you to master it.
All of it is in my “How To Be Dominant With Women” Action Checklist, so before we continue, get your copy now.
Got your copy?
Great — then let’s continue.
Here are the steps to reassert your dominance in your relationship:
- Step #1: Make her suffer
- Step #2: Do the “Faux Breakup”
- Step #3: Make her emotionally addicted to you
Let’s go through each step in detail!
Step #1: Make her suffer
“Dating Gurus” and “Pickup Artists” tell you to make a woman feel good.
They tell you that women move towards pleasure and away from pain.
And you know what?
Here, I agree with those pickup guys.
Let me tell you why…
In the beginning of the relationship, you want the woman to associate you with good feelings.
After all, you’re offering to pluck her out of her mundane existence and let her join in your fairy tale life.
But guess what?
Later in the relationship, negative emotions work much better.
That’s right. Fear, dread, jealousy, anger is good for your relationship.
Look at this example: women love drama, right?
They gossip, watch TV dramas, and fall out with their girlfriends.
All. The. Time.
The truth is that women yearn to experience negative emotions. They can’t just “stay” happy all the time.
Or, in other words, they want to suffer.
I know this sounds fucked up, and yet it’s true.
Need more proof?
In your experience, do women prefer tender lovemaking or rough sex?
I don’t care what they say they like. How does a woman respond when you are an animal in bed?
Let me share a secret with you:
Women get off on pain.
Now what I’m saying isn’t politically correct, but you know what?
I don’t care.
I only care about what works.
I don’t have a political career to protect – I’m here to tell you the truth.
It all comes down to this:
Pain bonds people on a deep level.
Ever heard of a sports team pulling together after a disappointing loss? Or a death that brings a family closer together?
This makes total sense if you think about it.
Here’s something you probably don’t know…
Consider this question: Why does a woman leave a man?
99% of the time, the reason is this:
Because she got bored and he was too “nice”.
Truth: women don’t leave men who put them through drama and pain.
So here’s Step #1 in our “How To Be Dominant With Women” in a nutshell:
Arguments and crying will increase her devotion to you.
Betcha no “Dating Gurus” or “Pickup Artists” will tell you that!
(This is also why having Dark Triad personality traits will help you be better with women, but that’s another article for another day.)
Step #2 – Do The Faux Break Up
The “Faux Break Up” is like a valuable employee threatening to quit the company. It’s your trump card.
But be careful, the more you use it, the less powerful it will be each time.
Here’s the right way to do it:
Ghost on her for three days
This means ignoring her calls while having the self-discipline to not contact her.
She will whimper, scream, howl… and she’ll do anything to get you to respond. Don’t give in. Stay the course.
Reappear with a bombshell text
Your first message to break the deadlock should go like this:
“It’s probably good for us to go our separate ways.”
Say nothing. Shut up. Don’t explain or elaborate. Let her imagination run wild.
By the way…
Do you notice the range of emotions we are taking her through here?
Worried and angry that you haven’t been in touch…
Then relieved when you finally reappear.
And finally confused and shocked by your break up message.
Remember that pain bonds people on a deep level? This is exactly what’s in play here.
You already know this, but it’s worth repeating –
Enslavement, not seduction.
Now, onward to the final step of the Faux Breakup tactic…
Reluctantly agree to meet up
I guarantee you she will want to “talk things over”.
No woman will let you go out like that. She will also want to know your reasons.
(Pro tip: whenever a woman tells you that she wants to “talk things over”, it means that you now have the power over her.)
Here’s what I want you to do…
Give a little bit of resistance before meeting up with her to seal the deal.
Seal the deal?
Yes. At this meeting is when you will seal your domination over her.
It’s the make-or-break moment. It’s what the previous two steps have been leading to.
QUICK NOTE: In case you haven’t downloaded your copy of the “How To Be Dominant With Women” Action Checklist yet, get it here now. Trust me — you’ll need it.
Step #3 – Make Her Emotionally Addicted To You
At this “heart-to-heart” talk you must do this:
Use Fractionation on her.
What is Fractionation?
Fractionation is a Mind Control technique. It’s nothing like the the lame “Pickup Artist” tricks you see elsewhere.
It was reputedly first discovered by Sigmund Freud, the preeminent psychologist. Later, it was used by hypnotherapists to treat their clients.
In layman terms, Fractionation is about making a woman emotionally addicted to you.
But a word of warning:
Once you use Fractionation on a woman, there’s no going back.
You can’t undo the effects. You won’t be able to turn off her devotion like a light switch.
Marriages may break up six months after both people swear to love each other “until death do us part”…
…but Fractionation is for life.
Make no mistake now…
Techniques like Fractionation are psychologically manipulative, no question about it.
Do it, but do it with your eyes open.
OK, enough with the lecture.
I would go into the “how to” of Fractionation but this article is already getting too long.
So here’s the deal…
I’ve created an Online Masterclass that teaches you everything you need to know about Fractionation.
You’ll learn the weapons-grade Mind Control tactics that can make a woman obsessed with you quickly.
Think about it:
Within minutes, you could learn a valuable skill that will put you in control of all your relationships for the rest of your life.
Sounds great, right?
Enrolling in the Masterclass is easy. All you need to do is click on the link below:
Yes! I Want To Book My Place For The Online Masterclass
Once you clicked the link, follow the instructions on the page that come up.
Wishing you love, wealth, and relationships,
P.S. Remember Eli the school teacher I spoke about at the beginning of this article?
When I asked him to tell me how he controlled a class full of unruly teenagers, this is what he told me:
“In the beginning, I tried to be their friend, but they walked all over me. When I focused on being a strong leader who was respected rather than liked, the behavior problems stopped.”
How about this one?
“Instead of letting the kids do what they want in class, I take control and tell them what we are going to do. They feel secure knowing what the rules are. They feel safe knowing there’s an authority figure there to stop them from indulging in their worst instincts.”
After this, I asked him if he still wanted advice on how to dominate women.
He smiled broadly, stood up, shook my hand and walked out.
I never heard from him again.
Frequently Asked Questions
Psychology Of A Dominant Male: What Are The Characteristics?
Truly dominant males – the ones who lead strong, happy, successful relationships – have four traits.
- They’re narcissistic – that is, they set firm limits to how much bullshit they’ll tolerate in their lives, and that includes the crap women give them. It also means they have the self-love and self-respect to walk away from anyone who insults them, no matter what they stand to lose.
- They’re psychopathic – that is, they don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think. They do whatever it takes to achieve their goals in life, even if that means ending relationships. They are also immune to insults and personal attacks.
- They have Machiavellian tendencies – meaning they readily manipulate people and relationships to achieve the results they want in life. They have principles, but when they’re forced to choose between principles and results, they’ll choose results every single time.
- They Enslave, not seduce. Truly dominant men Enslave their woman – that is, they make her emotionally addicted to them for life. As a result, she becomes a happy, satisfied, supportive girlfriend or wife.
The good news? The mere practice of Fractionation builds these four traits in you. (If you want to learn how to Fractionate your woman, click here now.)
How To Dominate A Narcissist Woman?
The “Faux Breakup” technique I described in this Guide is a great way to dominate a narcissistic woman.
In fact, the more egotistical a woman is, the more effective the “Faux Breakup” becomes. The blow to her ego is that much greater, and she plunges to a deeper humility when they beg you to “talk things over.”
Again, you’ll need to Enslave her to make her happily submissive for life. Fractionation will do that.
Enslavement, not seduction.
How To Dominate A Woman Long Distance?
The “Faux Breakup” technique I described in this Guide is a great way to dominate a narcissistic woman.
Long-distance relationships are notorious for being difficult, and the “Faux Breakup” just might backfire on you. If you don’t want to take that risk, then I suggest a slower, steadier way of making her emotionally addicted to you.
It’s called the Devalidation technique, and I explain it in greater detail in my “How To Be Dominant With Women” Action Checklist. Click here to learn more about Devalidation.
What To Say To Dominate A Woman? Are There Lines I Can Use?
When it comes to dominating a woman, what you say isn’t the important thing – it’s how she feels about what you say. You’ll want her to alternately feel emotional highs and lows, pleasure and pain, stress and relief.
Devalidation is a good, slow, passive technique to do that. An sample Devalidation line would be: “I love you, but you’re a pest sometimes.” The “I love you” part gives her a high; the “You’re a pest” part gives her a low.
For a more powerful, longer-term, and longer-lasting method of dominating a woman, I’d point you once again to Fractionation. It’s the simplest, most natural way to dominate your woman, bar none.
Tired of being submissive to your woman? Then regain your rightful dominance – and make her happy at the same time – with Fractionation. Click here to master it today.
This is quite offensive, and yet accurate. I’m a woman but the way you describe me based on my gender is absolute spot on… although it does make me uncomfortable.
Stop using mind tricks to mentally enslave women! How about learning how to relate to another human being without being a total douchebag? You made her cry? Why? Is that necessary?
Derek Rake says
So you think women don’t use mind tricks on men?
That’s what the teacher in the story did, but she didn’t respect him!!! Didn’t you read the ariticle, you probably manipulate and control your own man or you’re single AF!
It’s d thing with women. They are naturally manipulative. We have to learn to come to par or dominate them. Any male saying this is unfair hasn’t been taken through a series of antics by his lady. You see, it’s all true.
Derek Rake says
Ignorance. Roles of dominance and submissiveness are pathologies and psychological illnesses. No child when they’re asked what to be, says a submissive or a dominant.
This is literally the extreme issue with impulsivity and enabling and thinking with your feelings. This is not love.
Love and consistent respect are the same. Love should be given first to yourself and then to another person. Love is treating them with an equal amount of respect as you treat yourself. Whether people like you or dislike you, if you do not have boundaries, you probably dislike yourself. If you are a woman and you do not have boundaries, you probably dislike yourself.
Derek Rake says
Theoretically, yes, but of zero practical usage. You may hate Shogun Method for what it does, but there’s nobody who disputes that it works.
My husband (with my knowledge and endorsement) used these techniques to reprogram my thinking and responses, creating for himself a respectful, adoring feminine wife who lives to make him happy. Thos saved and transformed our 35 year marriage into blissful matrimony:) True story. Meaning that this type of manipulation works even when female is aware of technique being used because female psychology and DNA is hardwired to want these things from her man.
I would like to add that a man should not do any of this just to have casual sex with a woman.
Mind control, fractalazation, submissive training etc. Is a very life alterated thing to do to a female just for the man to get laid.
There are women out there giving it to anyone who will have them so no need to take drastic measures such as this for sex.
A man should ideally practice this type of mind altering, life changing, attachment training with a woman he is interested in having a LONG TERM relationship with.
As in, this female is worth your time, money and effort to train and have her be attached to you so that you CAN then go forward with her as your own(ed) fiancee, leading into your wholly dependant, adoring, submissive wife and hopefully on to be the cherished mother and primary care giver to YOUR children.
Men should not leave behind a string of mentally unstable, emotionally destroyed and possibly suicidal women just to have sex.
Plenty of women out there willing to provide men with unattached, condom protected futureless sex so there is really no need to do this a female solely for a physical only transaction.
Also, my husband didnt use the exact technique of leaving me or not talking to me since we were already married.
Instead, by using psycological techniques, he showed me that it was in my best interest to value my husband thru letting him train,teach,manipulate me into what pleased him. which now also pleases me greatly.
He made it abundantly clear thru by going over our financials, looking at divorce/remarriage statistics as applied to older women and finally browsing senior dating websites… that he, not myself, would have the upper hand statistically if we were to divorce.
Unfortunately, statistics prove that older females are generally depreciated when single while older, marriagable, child producing, successful males are very appreciated.
Fortunatly for men, hot, young, new models of marriageable child bearing females are actively out looking for a stable older/middle aged man could provide.
(Think Alex Baldwin.)
Derek Rake says
Thank you, Peach. And congratulations on a great, loving marriage!
Derek, why do women have these psychological weaknesses or loopholes in them? Is it because of the second curse that God gave to Eve? The second curse was: “your desire shall be to your husband and he shall rule over you.” (Ref. taken from Genesis book chapter 3 in the Bible)
Derek Rake says
I’m not religious, but here’s my take: it’s not a “curse” to have weaknesses or flaws – we all have them! You can exploit those flaws in a woman and make her happy – that’s exactly what we are doing here with Shogun Method.
Techniques like Fractionation can therefore be used for good – to improve relationships and marriages based on natural principles – that men are supposed to be dominant in a relationship, not the women.
Travis Lendall says
My wife and I have been married for 17 years now and we have been in a lot of different places in our past that couldn’t be more difficult from the last two stages before the one we currently stand in we have fought our way through addiction and pulled together to overcome our early stages nowadays we have been able to work together and much to everyone else we don’t seem to have any issues with the fact that we’re not ever more than a few feet from one another. Well we have enjoyed it we had a amazing job opportunity that made it so we could be in one place and we can get our own place and we would be able to get the kids to attend one school for the next 4 years we had to be on different crews but we have the same days off now I have found that I miss my wife and I find myself very ready if not more than ready to be home and hanging out with my wife and kids my weekends are great even if they aren’t really busy. I have been trying to get little bit of OT in here and there when I can my self and my wife each earn the same amount of money since we don’t have a lot of bills to pay we are not wanting to go Hamer out alot of ot at once instead we have been trying to make an effort to get out and do some things with the family on the weekends so we will have a few more things we can do as a family group myself and the wife and I enjoy drinking a bit more than a little but we have been able to keep in a manageable range. We are living in a 40 foot trailer with our 4 dogs for almost 2 years we have been able to keep up with the great attitudes for the the most part. We almost have been working on different crews for a year now and it isn’t a huge deal for us but it is the only way to keep one of us home with the kids. I think I have found that I am not ever going to be able to enjoy the different crews but we have been able to except the fact is we are working here for the better part of this half of the year we have been in a few milder discussions about how to get out of our arguments and we can get along like we’ve done before the one thing we have not had to deal with in our family for years seem to have just found out where we lived and set up camp me and my wife may not have been around one another for a week we decided to get drunk and invite some of her friends over we had a good time till dinner time my wife was drunk and decided that I was not her best friend and hit me her friends had to ask me what I did to make her hit me idk she didn’t even know why in the morning she didn’t want to find out why I have found that she is a very popular person who is very happy with the way that things seem to be in my opinion and this is the opposite of what we’ve been trying to get to so we spent the next days trying to figure out what and how we had missed to have been able to put us at such different sides of opinion and all very upset with each other in the past 17 years we have been in many different places that proved to be a bit of a struggle to get out of but we have been able to get out and not ever had to contemplate turning out and walk away from one another do to the fact we can not seem to bring enough of a understanding to our house to be able to keep a good relationship with one another i want to make sure that its clear as a bell i love her and I love her and there is no one now or another even in this world that is able to even worth trying out for the job in my mind. In the last few weeks we have had some small flare upset the last two I have been either hit or just left clueless in the middle of either company or our family group asking what is going on that has been able to put us on different sides of the world and what needs to be done sadly the cure is not as easy as i wished it could be i have never even been able to keep any kind of acceptable ending on the same page as so we could both be able to feel equally justified and no chips let behind to become another fight I don’t know how to make it so we could just have a understanding that isn’t forced on one or the other we have never had a problem that we’re having to spend a lot of time with just trying to speek the issues with each other