How To Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Or Wife Want You Back So, So Badly
Exactly nine years ago today, I lost my best friend.
His name was Ronald.
He killed himself by jumping off his apartment building.
Because his wife left him for another man.
Now, my regular readers know my posts are often lighthearted. I take my business seriously, sure. But I also like to inject a healthy dose of humor, too.
Sorry, folks. Not today.
Because there’s simply nothing funny about what happened to Ronald.
And, unfortunately, that same thing happens to too many people every day, all over the world.
Table of Contents
Breakup Depression Is Not A Joke
What makes people like Ronald decide to take their own lives?
It’s a question I asked myself for a long time.
The short answer is: hopelessness.
They feel like there’s just nothing left that’s worth living for.
Obviously, few people simply decide everything in the universe sucks.
There’s usually a catalyst.
And, too often, that catalyst is a failed or failing relationship.
A girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend. A fiancée breaks off her engagement.
Or a wife leaves her husband.
Beth was the love of Ronald’s life. I will never forget how happy they were at their wedding.
In fact, I remember it vividly. I was Ronald’s best man.
Standing there at the altar, they were exuberant. There was a life full of love ahead of them. They would share with each other.
And then, too few years later, it was all over.
It broke my heart that their passion had gone cold. It broke my heart that Ronald had been in such pain.
And it broke my heart that he couldn’t talk to me about what he went through.
Because I could have helped him—if only I’d known.
Everyone (Read:You) Deserve To Be Loved
I developed the Shogun Method for one simple purpose:
I want to improve people’s lives.
People need love. They need love from the people they love.
And that’s not always easy to get.
The Shogun Method is my way of helping them get the affection they desperately crave.
After all, it would have been selfish to keep these powerful secrets to myself.
It didn’t dawn on me—at least, not right away—that my work might actually save lives.
Even my best friend’s.
There’s nothing I can do for Ronald now. But I know there are others who endure the same agony he did. There are thousands of them, if not millions.
And if I can save even one of them from a bad decision, then it’s all been time well spent.
Three Things That Won’t Save Your Relationship—And Three That Will
There are three major delusions that ruin rocky relationships. They are:
- Honesty is the best policy. (It’s not.)
- Prioritize her happiness. (That’s counter-intuitive.)
- Relationships require compromise. (You’re mistaking romance for politics.)
If honesty worked, we never would have invented lying. Sure, it sounds ugly. But the truth is never pretty.
There’s no such thing as altruism. If you’re with a woman, it’s for your own happiness—not hers.
And in a compromise, neither side gets what they want. What the hell is the point of that? At least one person should gain some benefit.
Now, here are the three real things you need to know about how to make your ex want you back or how to save a marriage:
- Always conceal your intentions from a woman.
- Manipulate her into wanting whatever will make you happy.
- To get her back AND keep her, you’ve got to ENSLAVE her.
Like I said, the truth is never pretty. That’s how you can tell it’s true.
Next, let’s go into each of these three ideas in detail…
“Get Her Back” Principle #1: Always Conceal Your Intentions From Her
Concealing intentions is a key teaching inside Shogun Method.
I made it a fundamental rule because it is so crucially important.
If you fail to practice it, you are doomed to failure.
The simple fact is that humans resist authority. We chafe at commands. We evade expectations.
And, although they may not always seem like it, women are most definitely human.
Thus, getting anything from a woman requires subtlety and guile. Women can’t be told.
No, they must be manipulated.
And, obviously, you can’t manipulate someone if she’s aware of your intentions.
(Or, if your wife is a female sociopath then she’ll already know what you’re trying to do.)
On the rocks with your girlfriend or wife? UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you say things like:
“I’ll do anything to make this work.”
“I only want us to stay together.”
“You’re the most important thing in the world to me.”
If you do, you’ve tipped your hand. It’s all over.
So, once again: never be honest with a woman.
She’ll see your endgame coming a mile away. She’ll swerve to avoid it. You will crash and burn.
So what are you supposed to do?
As I said, a woman will turn and run from a demand.
But she will wholeheartedly pursue something that is evading her.
To that end, feed her ideas like:
- “We should take a breather.”
- “We definitely need some time apart.”
- “You’re right—this relationship clearly isn’t working out.”
- “Maybe we are better off separating.”
Have no doubt, if she’s been pushing to split up, these will take her off guard.
They will defuse any possible argument.
And, if you’ve been resisting a separation, the change in attitude will definitely catch her attention… and keep her interested on what you’re going to do or say next.
Now you need to use that attention and interest to your advantage. Continue reading to find out how to do this next…
“Get Her Back” Principle #2: Manipulate Her Using Implanted Commands
You’ve read this far, which tells me one thing – your marriage may already be in critical condition.
Has your woman decided to leave you?
If she has, then you need to make her question that decision. You must break her resolve.
As we noted earlier, women resist commands. They’ll do the opposite out of sheer resentment.
But, as we’ve seen, women are highly susceptible to manipulation.
So, now you must create doubt in her mind about her decision.
When men doubt, we think logically and rationally. We analyze situations. We look for problems and pitfalls.
Guess what? Women don’t do this.
Women think emotionally and intuitively. This is especially true about relationships.
Only later will women look back and use logic. And even when they do, it’s only to justify whatever decision they’ve already made.
In short, reasoning with a woman is futile.
Again, the key to success here is manipulation.
And the best way to do this is by using a Mind Control technique called Implanted Commands.
Implanted Commands: Psychological Tricks To Get Your Ex Back
Women react against a command because they see the command for what it is.
The trick is slipping the command into her mind without her realizing it.
And guess what? This is not nearly as difficult as it might sound.
Implanted Commands contain instructions that you want a woman to follow. So, if you can state what you want, you’re halfway there.
The trick is using other, innocuous phrases to camouflage your commands.
This will prevent her from recognizing the command. As a result, it will slip into her subconscious.
There, it will go to work sowing confusion and doubt.
Let’s look at an example, alright?
In this case, she needs to doubt her decision to leave. Perhaps we want to play on her fear of loneliness.
We want to make her think: “Leave me and you’ll find yourself alone.”
To camouflage this command, we could use the phrase: “Imagine what would happen if…”
So, the Implanted Command in full would be this –
“Imagine what would happen if you leave me and you find yourself alone.”
Makes sense?
Here are a few more examples –
“Sure, I could tell you that it’s pointless to look for a better guy. But I won’t.”
“I’m wondering if, eventually, this decision will turn out to be a mistake. I guess there’s only one way to find out.”
“Don’t think that this means you should have second thoughts about your decision. You know that you need to stand by your commitment.”
Easy, right?
Of course, you can use Implanted Commands to dangle a carrot, too.
For example:
“As time passes, you might wish for the safety and security we can have together.”
In this case, you’re prompting her to long for the stable, positive aspects of your relationship.
You can also try:
“I’m not going to try to make you remember all the good times we had together.”
“It’s a shame we’ll never find out if we’d actually be truly happy together.”
“You may get hung up on everything we shared together. Try not to obsess over it.”
Sure, these might seem counter-intuitive. Remember, she’s not analyzing these statements rationally.
Instead, she’ll think that the Implanted Commands are coming from her own subconscious. She’ll hear them in her own voice, not yours.
In short, she’ll have no impulse to resist them.
Control a woman’s imagination, and you will control her—completely and utterly.
Amazing, right?
How To Get Your Ex Back… And Enslave Her For Good
Up until now, we’ve been talking about psychological manipulation.
But what we need to talk about now is pure Enslavement.
Let me ask you this:
Do you truly want to salvage and safeguard your relationship?
Boyfriends and husbands, this is the only way for you to achieve true romantic security.
And it is guaranteed to succeed.
What I’m talking about is called Fractionation. It is a cornerstone technique used extensively in the Shogun Method.
Fractionation involves putting a woman into a trance. Then you pull her back out of it again.
This is achieved by alternating between positive and negative emotions.
You anchor the positive emotions to yourself. The negative ones get projected onto the outside world.
And you swing back and forth, repeating this process multiple times. This sort of dramatic emotional rollercoaster ride resonates strongly with the female psyche. This works even better if she has shown traits of narcissism or sociopathy. (You know, the female equivalence of a Dark Triad male.)
Inevitably, she’ll become addicted to the positive rush she gets from being with you.
An addict will do whatever she needs to get her fix. She’ll rearrange her entire life if it means easy access to that emotional high.
And that’s the secret to a successful relationship.
How to make your ex want you back so bad? Simple answer: use Fractionation.
Read all the way till the end for a free resource on how to use Fractionation on women.
You Can Get Her Back… But You Must Act Now.
In a sense, we’re all emotional addicts.
We all need that positive rush we get when someone loves us.
We all go into withdrawal and depression when we can’t get what we need.
Fractionation is how you get it. It’s easy. It’s effective.
And, should you choose, it’s permanent.
It hurts me, each and every day, that I was never able to share this with Ronald. Fractionation could have saved his marriage.
More than that, it could have saved his life.
And there are plenty of people in the world who share his woes.
Today, I’ve decided to do something about it.
There are too many troubled souls whose lives are bereft of love. People who think despair’s only alternative is death.
I will never be able to reach them all individually.
And that’s why I’ve put together an Online Masterclass on Mind Control techniques (including Fractionation).
In it, I teach the secrets of using Mind Control to captivate and dominate women. After you’ve watched it, the secrets of Mind Control will be at your fingertips.
Are you someone contemplating suicide because of romantic troubles?
I have one word for you: DON’T.
Instead, take some time off to watch this Online Masterclass. Learn how Fractionation can help you.
I promise, this is the solution you need.
P.S: If you have any questions for me, post them below and I will answer you personally.
Would this work on an ex that left me for another guy who was using the shogun method and boyfriend destroyers? The past 5 months have been hell for me. Me and my girl were in a happy relationship until she traveled abroad for a month. The first 3 weeks she’s all mine, telling me she misses me and she can’t wait to come back to me. Then she tells me she met a guy who kept persisting hitting on her. Eventually she said they had become friends and she stated that they stayed up at night talking about “many things”. Suddenly, she flies back to me and decides we should break up immediately because she can “no longer see a future with me”.
I let my insecurity get the best of me and pushed her away a little by accusing her of cheating. All the while, the guy she met was in the background messaging her pulling her closer to him. He got her to drop everything and fly back to meet him for the holidays. She’s even decided that after her internship ends, she’s going to go live in that country with him.
I was trying my best to win her back before she flew out to meet him and I attracted her many times. We got back together multiple times but it wasn’t enough to make her want to come back to being in a relationship with me. I just couldn’t figure out what this guy had that’s making her so obsessed with him. She’s even forgotten/trying to forget how happy we were together! Then my research led me here. It all adds up what he’s doing to her now and it’s pretty fucked up that this guy ignored the disclaimer about ruining people’s lives. My life has become a living hell because of him!
I can either wait for karma to catch him or I can snatch her back using the same manipulation he used, I feel is my last resort.
Would this be possible if she’s already obsessed with him?
Me and her are on speaking terms and I already used an implanted command on her and boyfriend destroyer.
Kevin: you used some Shogun Method terminology there in your comment. Are you a Shogun Method client?
Yes, I purchased the Shogun Method, reSeduction, and Boyfriend Destroyer system.
I’m just trying to figure out a game plan to win her back in this unique situation. I can let her go but I can’t accept that our relationship ended under the terms of some guy interfering. I’ve had multiple times where I just about had her back in my arms but since I don’t have an overall game plan/understanding of everything I need to do to successfully destroy her now new boyfriend and have her come back to me, I fear I keep messing up, ruining my chances, and she’s growing accustomed to my game. I’ve done no contact numerous times, intrigued her again and again, got to talking/building rapport once again, met up, had sex but no dice. She claims she’s “Scared to love me too much”. She’s admitted that she missed me (before the holidays) but she’s stubborn and she won’t come back to me. Now that she’s back, apparently she’s deleted all pictures and videos of us together and avoids reminiscing about old times with me. It’s like she’s trying to forget we ever happened!
Please help
Won’t you help Brian????
Or is he being helped????
Empathy…lol
Sorry it’s about Kevin…
Derek my wife left me in November. We were still friends. She now cut me off all communication. She went to her cabin her grand daughter is in swimming lessons. I told her I’ll leave her alone for three weeks and then I’m going to meet with her and get her back. She said good luck. I have 9 of your courses but don’t no if I have the right ones. I want to totally enslave her. I’m sick of this bullshit. Let me no what I should do. I’m having trouble figuring out fractionation
Brian: we’ll sort you out – leave me a coaching request at ShogunMethod.net.
Derek Shogunmethod.net doesn’t work. I would appreciate you help in coaching. Thank you
It does. Go there.
I’m asking for my coaching request. Thank you
If you are a Shogun Method client, log a request at ShogunMethod.net
Hi Derek. I need your help. I have not bought the Shogun Method so I’m not a client. Here’s my story:
We met each other more than a year and a half ago. After a while we had first met, she started talking to me and coming to me noticeably. But she had altered by some time. I had been attracting her with all the resources I could find on the internet. Recently, I saw the Shogun Method and this web.
A few months ago, I confessed to her and she accepted me. But after just a couple of weeks, she said let’s just be friends.
Since then, I had been following her in places she goes, trying to talk to her, and many more you could imagine.
She sent some texts to me recently: ‘u cant make me to love u. know the word friends? That’s what we are. just get out of my life.’
Derek. Please reply to me. I have been suffering this trouble for long. I read this article and sent a text to her with the first principle ‘to always conceal my intentions’
What should I do next? The next principle? I really want her to be with me. She is my first love.
Btw how can I contact you? Emailing?
with best hope,
Ryuzaki
Next step? Become a Shogun Method client so that we can all help you. Your situation is quite common and we’ve seen it thousands of times.
Around this time last year i was with a girl that left me after she thought i was talking to her and another girl at the same time at the beginning of our relationship. We were together a few months… And like a switch i fell in love with her after bonding. But she left after she thought i cheated. She was with another guy for like 8 months now and they just broke up. She sent me a friend request on facebook towards the end of her relationship with him. We started talking for at least a week or so and i just broke up with a girl i was seeing after she started talking to me. (Not because of her but i just wasnt feeling the girl i was with. I think because im in love with my ex.) She just went cold on me a few days ago. And idk what to do. I bought your shogun method after our a break up about a year or however ago. I just dont know where to start. And im more of a hands on learner or need a plan. I got the idea of her and me going to a restraunt in her head. And we were flirting hard. But i just dont know what yo do now that shes went cold. Shes the only girl to have been stuck in my head. I need help.
Christopher: start with Module 1. It’s a step-by-step process. Don’t move on without completing each step – that’s the whole idea of the IRAE Model! Ask the community inside your Member’s Area to get help. You can do it!
What if i already tipped my hand a bit? She told me that “a piece of me still cares but I can’t let it bc this was my decision” & that caused me to open up & express to her that I had hoped that one day we could share our love again, after I become the kind of man that I need to be first. I want to buy your program but I don’t know if it would apply to my situation after I’ve already said this to her
Freeze her out, and put her on the IRAE. Start with Fractionation: https://shogunmethod.net/shogun-method/fractionation/
As a woman, I’ll say this: This is all true. Female sociopaths are everywhere, and only real, dominant men can handle them.
(I am one.)
Sociopathy is as natural as hypergamy for women. It all depends on how disciplined the woman is in question. If a woman was raised by a masculine father, it’s much easier to deploy the Shogun Method (as most of the work is done by the father) compared to dealing with a woman with daddy issues.
Good observation!
I’ve been working through ReSeduction 2.0 for a couple of weeks now. So, I get through the validation and conformation steps, and just today I began restoration by sending a text message almost identical to the example given in that stage of ReSeduction. It’s been a couple of hours now and I still haven’t received anything back. The only reason I’m giving this the extra thought is because, during the confirmation stage, specifically while it was time to pick a fight and say some not-so-nice words to her, I just felt like it was a bit too much. It ended with her calling me a sociopath and telling me to delete her number and to stay out of her life. I had the feeling something like this could maybe happen… Any suggestions or advice? Thank you, Mike Shingara.
Hey Derek,
I’ve dated this woman for more than two years, and then we had problems. I’ve tried everything to get her back, but everything I did failed. She said she only wanted to be friends, which sucked. And now, I have saw this, I got intrigued, so after reading this, I tried it to her. It worked somewhat to disarm her. What should I do next?
Use Fractionation on her. This is the core of Shogun Method which you should use to “brute force” her to come back to you willingly.
Derek, that was an awesome read, thanks! Shogun Method is the dog’s bollocks, as they say here in the UK!
Got a question though. How many times should I use the Implanted Commands before my ex comes back?
As many as they take. The effectiveness of Implanted Commands doesn’t wear off.
And of course, stack them up with a good dose of Fractionation and you’ll increase your chances tremendously. Learn how to do this in my free online Masterclass – click here.
Hi
I’m a shotgun method client.
My girlfriend and I are separated. She calls it “taking some time out so she can get in a better space emotionally, mentally and financially”.
Long story short, we had a big argument over miscommunication over the phone and she moved out to her mother. I was angry and said some mean things, for which I apologised. She says she forgives me but hasn’t forgotten, and wants to heal. Financial issues have also played a role. But she has totally isolated herself and doesn’t message or call. When I did call to talk things out she would resist and days she needs space, which is vague. She claims to still want to be in a relationship but is not ready right now, which feels like keeping me on a string. It’s not fixing the issues and restoring the relationship. Been 2 weeks now since we’ve spoken.
Do I continue agree to her request for time out?
Do I call her or text her?
Do I freeze her out? For how long?
I’m not even sure we’re in a relationship, it feels like a separation.
Don’t know if she is really going to come back.
My belief is as a couple we should work things out together and be there for each other.
Would appreciate some advice or guidance on how to proceed.
Thanks.
My gf of 10 years broke up with me and started dating her ex from 10 years ago. Is it possible for me to get her back if we live together and share a child? How can I freeze her out?
And she frequently leaves me home with our kid so that she can go out! What should I do?
Should I say no and make excuses for why I can’t “babysit”, making it harder for her to date?
Should I say yes and act like it’s ok? (At least I know my baby is safe. But it hurts to feel sad and keep the baby.)
Hi Derek,
I’ve been separated from my wife for 14 months and she has started seeing some one else .
My friends and family say it’s time for me to move on and agree to a divorce. I don’t want to though. We have 3 young children and I love her still .
Will your method still work after such a long separation?
Utterly, utterly fascinating.
Shogunism reminds me of that movie ‘Ruby Sparks’ where an author writes his girlfriend into existance and proceeds to control her behaviour, chapter by chapter before ultimately realising he’d rather have a risky yet slave-free approach and starts over with the same woman.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been exposed to alot of deceit in my life and I’ve made it a study to know it when I see it. The brilliant thing is, every human has a lie signature. It’s a set of movements that their body emits when their words are projecting deceit. It’s a kind of bodily rejection or disowning of the mouth’s words. And the words can be staccato – almost a spitting of them out, as if to eject them quickly. The associated movements are particularly apparent in the shoulders and neck.
Anyway I met a shogun and I did not know it, and I could not get a proper handle on his signature. His body was held tight.. A few weeks of chatting went by, and I was still filled with fascination but distinct un-easiness. I knew vast things were hidden. Then one day, he started talking about his family and he softened. He glistened. His speech became as liquid and his voice was free. And finally I could see him. I realised that when he was talking about pretty much anything else, there was a vaneer. So much so in fact, that his body was perpetually betraying him.
So my question is: how the hell does this stack up – How is a woman caught in a lie a definate indicator of a sociopathic character?
‘Dishonesty. Does she lie to you, without any shade of guilt or remorse? Does she fib just to
get what she wants from you? If she does… then she’s a sociopath. No doubt about it.
And yet deceit is urged and championed in a shogun:
‘Honesty is the best policy. (It’s not.)’
‘If you do, you’ve tipped your hand. It’s all over’
‘So, once again: never be honest with a woman’
Don’t get me wrong, there are many stunning observations here in and so much I agree with and that is contructive and that sounds exciting. And while I readily admit that I may even WANT to be enslaved to a man (I actually believe we all do, not just women) , I am very clear that in order to enslave myself, I would need to respect my master. Wouldn’t I therefore, given the choice, opt foa a man of noble character?
Women want alpha, yes, leader, yes, animal in bed, yes, liar, no. Moral compass set hard south , hell no! I’d love to meet one one of these slaves. I wonder how fulfilled and nourished by love they would be.
The thing that seems unfinished here, is the part about how a man becomes worthy of a slave. For the most part, I understand slaves to be miserable creatures, forced to endure hell at the hands of their masters. But there were masters you hear of, who after being set free, their slaves never took a step away from.
Hey derek, my girlfriend broke up our 6 months of dating relationship because of some silly argument and me being so needy. And after breakup i found that there is some other dude. She met that dude 2 years back but never dated him because that dude wasn’t interested in her. Now she is chasing that dude and bragging that without that guy there is no one she ever loved. And she decided to chase him untill something happened between them.
We didn’t talk since our breakup.
Which programs I should buy and follow. And let me know the sequence. And I would love to hear your valuable advice regarding this case. Thank you.
Start with Shogun Method. Forget everything else for now.
“(the) vulnerable-pu55y bleeding society” has always given me their ‘best’ advice which is to just ‘forget’ about her, and ‘move’ on, etc. Even my target (ex girl herself) told me during a heated argument that ‘there’s lots of other girls you can date’. Her friend too, who was my apprentice (whom am dating at the moment,) at that time told me to ‘just be a man and move on,’ the day after the argument with my ex whom at the time of the argument called me [phrased positively here:] ‘dog-sh1t’ and [being a Pollyanna here:] ‘with those your f*cking g6p5 in your teeth’… and topping that up with ‘I have a boyfriend!’
Glad to report that our interaction with my ex is currently at the ‘R’ phase of the VCRD Frame . Sure feels good that things have aligned in my favor that I can even be an asshole with a choice now and be confident that she’ll eventually seduce herself for me.
Finally, (proverbial) light at the end of the tunnel.
Hail Shogun Method! Hail ReSeduction 2.0.
To end with a question:-
Q: Since the distinction is clear between sexual/social ‘validation and ‘attraction’, what of ‘bond’ and ‘attachment’ – how are they distinct and which is stronger?