How Can I Go From Mr. Nice Guy To Mr. Dateable Guy…With A Gorgeous Girlfriend?
“Basically, I want to learn how to move from being the nice guy to being the dateable guy. I think it might be a bit too late to get this girl – heck, I’m not even sure if she’s worth it – but I want to know how I can ensure a relationship next time instead of constantly hoping things will work out. I’m so sick of being Mr. Nice Guy. I want a gorgeous girlfriend, darn it! How to make a girl like you for who you are?” – Max G. from Cannon Greek, QLD
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Girls may love nice guys, but they simply don’t get TURNED ON by them. What you need to do is learn how to turn women on by touching her and by being dominant. Here are the fast and dirty basics:
1. You need more touching. If you are seen as Mr. Nice Guy, then you probably aren’t doing enough of this. Simply put, you need to let your hands do the talking. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to make random gestures here and there; this means you have to touch her sides and her arms with your hands. This will help you a lot.
2. Be dominant. Lead. Make decisions. The type of guys that women like are the semi-dangerous ones who can take charge of any situation. So, you might want to change your personality to match that description. Avoid saying “maybe” and stick to a straightforward “no” or “yes”. Also, never force women to make any of your decisions on dates. Tell them where to go and why they would love it there.
If you follow these two basic things, you will be a step farther away from the “friend zone”. (Supplementary information: learn how to look out friend zone signs here, and how to escape the friend zone here.)
How Should I Deal With Her ‘Male Puppy’ Friend?
“I’ve been having trouble closing lately. The faster things go, the easier it gets to bond and start an attraction, but I also have to close differently than before. Here’s some context: I was out on a date the other night with a hot chick that I really like. Here’s how the setup went: after only half an hour after meeting, we almost kissed but I told her I wasn’t into monogamy and exclusive girlfriends. A few months later, she moved close to my place and sent me Dutch MySpace messages to show me she liked me. So, the other night, we were on a date but she brought this cock-blocking ‘male puppy’ friend with her. What.Da.Fark.
I didn’t know what to say, so I proceeded to have a great time. Our sexual tension was fine but never got to a close because that guy was hanging out there the whole time. I tried to isolate her several times, but that didn’t work. He clearly likes her, but they’re not involved because she sees him as nothing but a friend – the way she seems to position every male.
I won’t have any trouble starting another date, but I want the right tone to come out this time. What I really want to say – but can’t – is: Surprising me with your boring friend is no way to spend a first date with me. Let’s meet up for a home-cooked meal with just you and me. WTF indeed.
Naturally, I will need to say it differently. Help? Thank you for all the work so far. It has been a huge help.” – Donald L. from Corona, CA
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Straight to your question, I honestly just want you to relax! 🙂 Don’t make a huge deal out of this. Here’s why:
- She only brought the friend because she actually likes you and doesn’t trust herself to be with you alone. This is good. There is no need for you to worry.
- Be friends with the guy instead of enemies. If you become this guy’s friend, you can ask her out to a movie afterwards and when she agrees, you can face the guy and say, “Hey dude, it was great meeting you. We’re going to catch a movie now, but you can call me to chill anytime.” By doing this, you will look like a considerate dude (not necessarily a nice guy). Plus, you will have a new friend and the girl in your arms. Win-win.
How To Turn A Friend Into A Girlfriend
Turning a relationship from platonic to romantic is indeed tricky. To make things complicated, you’re starting off from a bad place – the dreaded friend zone! What could be worse?
If you just cannot be arsed to read what it is, then here’s a summary for you:-
- Stop listening to that she SAYS, but pay attention to what she DOES.
- Touch her. A lot. But not in a slimy way. Obviously.
- Impart romantic feelings by challenging her.
Very sound advice. And to top it all up, apply a liberal dosage if female psychology and “mind control” techniques (an example – fractionation). Always works, without exception. Whoever who says that these seduction techniques don’t work is talking out of his ass.
Turning a friend into a girlfriend is trivial – but only if you know what exactly to do. And by mastering these techniques you will be far ahead of the pack as far as dating and seducing women is concerned.
How To Turn A Friend Into A Girlfriend – The Zen Seduction Way
It was one of my weekly coffee sessions with the Master at the Starbucks outlet at The Curve, one of the more upmarket shopping malls in the suburbans of Kuala Lumpur.
The subject matter of discussion was on the ways to turn a friend into a girlfriend. This perhaps is a topic close to the hearts of many guys who have female friends who they know platonically.
So what does it really needed to take a relationship from platonic to sexual? How to make a woman want you sexually (i.e. as a boyfriend, and not as a friend)?
“The key here is to shift the frame,” was the Master’s answer.
“But first, some caveat to this strategy. You must realize that you must first be *real* friends with them. In other words, not some chick you knew from last week who you ‘befriended’ just because you cannot score with them.” The students nodded collectively.
“Listen. You must be in a position yourself in a way that it’s a no-lose deal for them. When they consider if they want to sleep with you, they think of one important thing – if they are going to LOSE you as a friend once things get complicated – for example, when you demand to be their boyfriend and they have got their doubts.”
So it has to be a no-strings-attached affair then?
“Not necessarily, but you’ll have to start somewhere.”
OK, taking baby steps, I see. Fractionation is out of the question then I suppose…
The Master continued, “Be the one to OFFER her what she wants, and not in the position of DEMANDING her to fulfill your needs. This difference is important.”
“Come across as a loyal friend who also provides both sex and comfort. Be careful not to present yourself as “Mr Right” at first, and be sure to make it clear that you are also looking for “Miss Right” elsewhere. Don’t make her feel that you’re chasing her!”
I added, “So, by adopting this frame you’ll come across as a non-threatening friend who offers the comfort of a partner who would neither needy or are going to disappear after the fling.”
Master nodded and smiled.
“But it is common belief among seduction theorists that once you’re in the dreaded ‘friend’ zone, it would be hard to get out. Is turning a friend into a girlfriend even worth doing? What are the odds?”
The Master smiled. “As the Zen saying goes, all conditioned things are impermanent. There are no absolutes. You can turn a friend into a lover if you play your cards right.”
I’m Hot But Girls Don’t Like Me
“I’m not quite sure how I should say this. I’m hot and I’m currently living in London and hoping to become an actor. However, every girl I like ends up rejecting me. I’m not awkward or shy, either. I’m warm, confident, funny, down-to-earth and sexual. I always get confused whenever I try to find out what’s wrong with me. I’m extremely lonely, so I don’t know who else to vent to. I’m sorry if this sounds useless and miserable, but you suggested a quick mail, so here it is. Another thing is that I don’t want girls to pick me. I want to pick who to be with. I want to take charge of my own actions. How to be attractive to women?” – Steven H. from San Diego, CA
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Wow. You sure have a huge problem over there. Hot? Confident? Actor? Damn, dude, I wish your problems were mine. 😉
Kidding aside, your situation really is tough. As I read your email, I didn’t know how to answer it, either. Then I read your very last sentence. Here are some ideas that you can try out:
- Women tend to get intimidated with high status guys. If you are a hot and confident actor, she will really like you. And because of this, she will really play some hard-to-get, so she won’t look like a slut. This means that you need to game her with trust rather than with sexuality.
- You need to dominate her. Sure, this isn’t ideal, especially since you said you don’t want girls to pick you. But, truthfully, every man has to play the system in meeting women. If you choose not to, or have no idea what the rules are, you will not succeed.
So, try to play some games with her. Laugh inside as she plays hard-to-get since you know she’s just being silly. Then, build up the trust with your tone and trust and everything else that I teach in my emails. You will be completely unstoppable by the end of it. 🙂
How Can I Turn A Friend Into A Girlfriend?
“I know this girl quite well and we are always together – in a group, anyway – at least twice a week. As cliche as this sounds, I like her a lot and want to find out if she likes me, too. The thing is: I have no idea how to find out if she does. I asked her if she was free for a coffee once and her response was ‘probably not’.
This was a few months ago and now, I have no idea how to go about it. Is she playing me? Should I give up or are there other things out there that I can try in order to succeed with her?” – Joseph I. from Southfield, MI
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Watch what she does as opposed to what she says.
Touching you means she likes you. Lingering means she likes you. Defending you from other men that are around means she might like you. Those are examples of how you should judge her.
But what you should truly concentrate on is how much touching there is in your relationship. If you never touch her, she will never see you as a boyfriend; this is probably why she gave you the ‘probably not’ response. Just be more aggressive overall and touch her in a more sexual manner.