Do I Need To Become A “Pickup Artist” To Be Good With Women?
“The thought of becoming a pickup artist really hasn’t vibed with me, no matter what style it is – extravagant or natural. Still, I want choices when it comes to women. In fact, I hope to have great girlfriends that will make other guys cry. 🙂 Is this possible without actually becoming a pickup artist?” – Chad L. from Asquith, SK
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
I suffered from the exact same problem before, which is why I take different routes in becoming better with women.
Well, if you use the tactics that I teach in my newsletters, you can get any woman you want without having to become a so-called “pickup artist”. And, if you wish to get the entire system for yourself, just take a look at Shogun Method. Read the reviews here, and here.
Is There A Faster Way To Get Better With Women?
“I have reached states of too much friendliness and want to avoid these by staying solid and sleeping with women as soon as possible.
I got hold of Shogun Method several months ago and found it great. My whole being has evolved and matured since then. This change took longer than expected, with me slowly reading signs and understanding tactics by the day.
This level is quite frustrating as I can see what I can do through the success of trainers like you. I guess it’s good that I started out this young and won’t have to go through years of trial and error. However, is the quickest way to get better really achieved by going out and approaching women a lot without thinking about the what if’s and the missed opportunities? It might be because of I’m not knowledgeable enough, but I have this feeling that I’m stuck between quantity and quality at the moment, which brings about my whole improvement at stalling. Thank you.” – David M. from Surrey, BC
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
I‘m happy to hear you’re progressing. 🙂
You should know that you will keep changing for months now – and even years – because this kind of training will tend to force permanent changes in your focus. This is also why you need to keep approaching women – to build up your overall set of skills. Here’s a little secret you should know:
The difference between the quantity and quality of women happens to be huge. This is why:
When you date one particular woman, you will tell yourself that no other woman will be able to beat her – ever. This is a rare yet deadly mindset.
Conversely, if you date several women at once, you will be able to see the disadvantages, advantages, flaws and success of every one of them. This means that you will get a much more well-rounded sexual experience out of dating several women as opposed to just one.
Also, by nature, going out with several women at once will open doors to seeing even hotter women as time goes by since you won’t appear to be needy anymore. The situation is definitely a win-win one as you can talk to a lot of women each time.
Seduction At Sonic Speeds?
Men are impatient nowadays, but who can blame them? We all want quick results – especially when we are in desperation or pain. The good news is that some techniques do yield amazingly fast results (fractionation is a seduction technique that comes to mind) – but many require tons of work and practice before they show results. These include:-
- Inner game
- EFT-type techniques
- Dark Triad techniques
- Barnum Statements
- Alpha Male character building
Now the reality is that we have all been misled into thinking that there must be a learning curve for anything worthwhile – dating included. The fact is that there ARE shortcuts to everything, and there is a real danger in over-thinking and “over-practising”. Female psychology loopholes are good examples where tremendous results can be achieved in relatively short time. Go give them a try and tell me if they don’t give you quicker results than say “building up your confidence levels” (sic).
Should I Be Mean Or Nice When It Comes To Women?
“Okay, one thing I have debated is whether to be a little mean or nice to women because I have come to notice that being mean works to a certain degree but not a lot and only on women with lower IQs unless you add some fun into it. I put my teasing skills to use once when a girl was holding my butt and I said, ‘I hope you’re not reaching for my ass!” and laughed. She ended up getting a handful playfully. We had a lot of fun from then on, but another time at a mall, I was chatting with a decent-looking brunette who wasn’t very smart. I tore into her, which made everybody laugh. She said ‘I can’t believe you said that’ while digging it at the same time. So, what do you have to say to all of this? I’m having trouble deciding whether I should be nice, confident and in full control of things, as well as other attractive traits, or whether I should be playful and cocky at the same time.
Oh, I have also learned to avoid doing this too much. However, one thing I like doing is keeping women in suspense. For instance, I had a picture of my girlfriend on my phone and I told her I had changed it today to mess with her head. I texted a ‘Hi, I changed my phone pic’ and waited several minutes before saying ‘to a sexier one’. She asked what the new picture was of and I waited around 20 minutes, just to get another text that said ‘WHAT IS IT?’ I told her it was a certain picture then said I was joking and mentioned another one, only to say I was joking again. Then, to really throw her off-balance, I asked ‘Seriously, though, what background pic do you have?’ It worked awesomely! 🙂 This went on for around an hour since I waited up to 20 minutes before replying to each text. She ended up calling me in the end, screaming, ‘Honey, tell me what the picture is now! WHAT IS IT?’ I ended up telling her, but the entire game was just too fun! LOL 🙂 Do you have any other advice?
I hope I made sense lol 😉 And oh, Shogun Method is definitely off the charts, by the way.” – Charles T. from Austin, TX
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
There is one reason why I avoid being “mean” or “cocky” with women. It’s because you miss the mark a little bit. Sure, girls love teases. Sure, it turns them on. Sure, it switches on the attraction on an emotionally deep level. However, you miss the fact that girls need to feel protected and safe, too.
This is why you have to be dominant and warm – because they bring together the ideal emotions you need to have when women are around. You have to be dominant. You have to be in charge. Lead. The one who makes the decisions for her and everybody else.
And that’s where cockiness comes into the picture. See, when you are cocky, you say whatever you want to. There are no inhibitions and she thus gets extremely into you. And since you aren’t afraid of teasing her, she gets turned on, too.
However, being cocky means there is no warmth. Being cocky pretty much equates to being mean, as you mentioned. And women have to feel safe and protected before they can feel aroused. If the opposite happens, then you can be sure that they will lose interest quickly enough.
So, try not to be cocky all the time and use your tone and touch to be protective and warm, as well. You will end up seeing an immediate improvement in how women respond to you.
Mixing attraction with cockiness, warmth and protective touches will provide women with anything they could want – ever. I hardly ever recommend somebody to you, so whenever I do, you should know it’s for real.
How Can I Become Absolutely Amazing With Women?
“Hi Derek. I’m an 19-year-old who totally worships every single word that you say. 😉 Call me Ryan. Anyway, my problem is: my game is great but I constantly feel like something is blocking my way to huge success. I have no idea if it has something to do with my tactics or my mindset, but I sometimes feel confused and even lost between my two worlds: the regular world and the attraction world. My question is: what can you suggest for me to turn everything around and completely enjoy and trust the attraction world that I have learned from you? Or phrased in another way… how to make a woman want you with your techniques?” – Carlos A. from Indianapolis, IN
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Whoa. Worship is a really strong world. I would prefer it if you used… well… I like it, to be honest. (Everybody can get a little egotistical every once in a while, right? 😉
As for the question, I know what you mean. I have felt that way before. I knew that I could meet any woman I wanted without putting much work or effort in anymore, but a part of me still didn’t perceive it as real.
The old loser inside of me needed it to be right and to be hard. My family was very religious and I think this entire struggling mentality to succeed stems from that. There is only one thing you have to understand, though:
Doing the right thing is usually the easiest thing to do. See, if both ways work – with one being easy and the other being hard – wouldn’t you go for the easy way? That way, you’ll get more things done and have a lot more fun in the process. Why, you’ll even be able to help other people if you want.
(Now don’t get me wrong. You can still use psychological manipulation techniques and still do the right thing.)
This is why I always try to get a lot of people to read my emails as I can. That way, I can help a lot of men and give them new leases on their dating lives all at the same time. This would me much more difficult if I had to write personal emails and look for you every time I wanted to tell you something.
Plus, the easier way of sending hundreds of questions with complete answers at once simply works much better. The same goes for meeting women.
Think about it: when meeting and dating a girl, would it really matter whether you felt calm or anxious at the time of your meeting? As more time goes by, this won’t matter at all.
So, just go out with this great girl and do things the easy way, so you won’t have any regrets in the long run.
Keeping this in mind will free it up. Give it several weeks of experience before it truly sinks in and you will be completely amazed at the results. 🙂
Want To Be Good With Women? Stop Being a Wimp!
The most important thing you will learn in dating women is how to quit acting like a wimp. The idea is to never let your inner demons get in the way, and just going for what you want. You can apply this idea in your daily life, starting with the most obvious.
- Action Step #1: “Accept” yourself.
Let’s say you have a busted ego, and you’ve been through a lot of down times. The best way of dealing with the feeling of self pity is to just quit acting like a pussy and begin forgiving yourself for acting so foolish in the past.
Learning to accept yourself even after all the blunders and making sure that you learn from your experiences is the highest form of self love.
The worst type of self pitying behavior is thinking you are too old, too skinny, too fat, too ugly or too dumb to really attract girls, even those who are way younger than you are. You need to quit acting like a pussy and begin going for the women you’re really attracted to. Confidence is absolutely necessary in this game!
- Action Step #2: Bust approach phobia.
Just go for it. The more you hesitate, the more your wimpy nature will resurface to nibble at your confidence.
If taking things further is the issue, you just need to quit acting like a pussy and begin making your move. There’s nothing more frustrating than a man who can’t lead, and women will tell you honestly that if you won’t take the lead, they’ll walk. They signed up for the date because they thought you’d be worth it. Think about that.
Getting rejected does not excuse you for acting like a wimp.
Most of us do take rejection badly and we all need some time to lick our wounds, but for how long? The sooner you bounce back from getting rejected the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Spend an hour or a minute rubbing your ego and dealing with the frustration, then bounce back. Rejection is the psychological equivalent of getting a scratch. Also, I want you to realize that rejection is not final – there’s always ways to win a woman back if you’re motivated enough.
You don’t cry buckets over it. You clean it up, put band aid and you’re back in the game.
Many of these self-esteem problems get blown out of proportion because we let them take over our thoughts.
Sometimes, your thoughts and how long you let the problem stay inside your head is aggravating the whole situation.
For instance, a man suffering from a break up can be excused for being heartbroken and keeping to himself for a while, but what is he really doing with his time? Is he letting the problem consume him or is he really dealing with it?
The challenge is to act up and stay afloat regardless of the fear, the guilt and the pressure that every problem brings.
Let me repeat that again: the problem must stay in your head for a short duration and never longer.
The more you think you have approach problems with women, the more you will lull yourself into believing that you will never be able to.
If you keep your anxiety inside your head, you’ll keep thinking “I’m scared” whenever you try to approach.
Second guessing yourself is the worst thing that can happen when you’re out there with women waiting for you to lead the way to wherever you want to take them. Or worse, it might paralyze you from taking any meaningful action when you want to get over someone.
Of course, if everything else, there’s that grand-daddy of all covert attraction techniques – fractionation. It’s a surefire technique on how to build rapport with a woman and hit it off with her as quickly as possible.