After Getting Into A Relationship, How Can I Keep The Sparks Going?
“How can I keep things going when in a relationship? How can I make sure we stay great after two weeks? (Also, am I trying to be too perfect here?) How to keep a woman interested in you? With so many obstacles, insecurities, test failure, and some bad luck, things seem to have changed with us. I am suspecting that she’s cheating on me also, but I’m not sure.” – Sean B. from North Kingstown, RI
Derek Rake’s Answer:To begin with, here is some real world advice: relax. You worry too much. If you worry so much, you’ll think far too much, which will, in turn, make you lose interest in her. Because of this, she will feel like you are no longer into your relationship the way she is and will make her not want to invest as much in it and in your sex life anymore.
To be honest, every sign points to a near-future breakup. So, if you wish to save this relationship, engage her the way you did when you first met. A ton of excitement. A ton of sexual tension. Physical escalation. Great sex. Have passion. Play the dominant boyfriend to her submissive girlfriend. Let her see the man she so longed to be with and you will do well.
However, if you constantly push her away, she will leave in no time at all. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t a great boyfriend or that you suck at relationships, though. It simply means that you two have been thinking far too much and you need to act now. Both of you.
Take the lead by taking that first step, so she can see how passionate you are and so she can replicate that passion. In the end, you may get to save what you have, after all.
Finally, to address your last question: here’s how to catch a cheating girlfriend (or spouse).
How Can I Stop Things From Getting Boring And Burning Out With My Girlfriend?
“Recently, I got into a relationship with someone at my college and everything is great. She is my best friend now and we’re escalating a lot faster than I thought possible (we’re both virgins, by the way). Everything is actually so great that I’m afraid our relationship will start to get boring or fall downhill sometime soon.
I’m dedicated in making this work out and I want our relationship to reach its best points, so my question is: do you have any advice on how to keep things extra interesting to prevent things from ever getting boring? If anything, how to tell if your girlfriend is losing interest?” – Alex H. from Chicopee, MA
Derek Rake’s Answer:Variety, most of all if your relationship isn’t starting to get boring yet. Remain dominant with her, as always, but lacking variety is usually what kills the majority of relationships out there. Fortunately, it sounds like you have a relatively new relationship going and the truth is: being virgins makes your entire relationship all the more exciting.
If – or when – you choose to have sex, the mere fact that you are exploring your sexuality like never before will keep the relationship heavy and hot for months on end. Easy. So just relax and stop over-thinking all of this. 🙂
(And if things do begin to get boring, you can just switch your everyday routine up a bit. Take her on a spontaneous vacation. Kiss her somewhere exciting and new. Go out for your dates as opposed to watching movies at home. Provided you keep doing something new and fun, your relationship will not stale out in the near future.)
How Can I Forget Her Cheating Episode?
“I’m getting out of a nasty four-year marriage right now. We were together for twice that long, in which she cheated around 13 times. I only found out recently that some of my kids might not even be mine. I’m telling you about this because I’ve finally come across the main reason why I put up with all of it. I believed I couldn’t find anybody else that would actually want me. But by seeing how other women look at me, I have come to notice that I am quite attractive. Now my biggest problem is sex. Due to my wife’s continuous infidelity, I have this deep-set belief that I suck in bed. However, the more research I have done on picking up women, the more I have come to find that I am simply a ‘nice guy’ as I have the majority of a nice guy’s traits. Now I know why my wife cheated on me.
I really hope to learn much more because my life with women is affecting the rest of my life. My wish is to get away from my mindset of self-doubt. At the moment, I’m having financial problems, otherwise I would do anything I can to get some of your work. From all that I have seen so far, I believe that your system works. I have done research on other systems but yours simply speaks deep inside of me. Man, I just hate having to do this – I’m not a natural beggar – but I really need some help, bro. I know that with the right mindset, the other factors in my life will follow. I’m just tired of being a slave of low self confidence and fear. I know I have game. I just have to let it out somehow.” – Gilbert B. from South Charleston, OH
Derek Rake’s Answer:I find it amazing that you found my tactics to be the solution to your ‘nice guy problem’. Think about it. We have never met – you and me. However, because we had a similar problem before, we already share a similar past. And the solutions that I used for my problem can now be used to help you get past your problem in life.
You’re no beggar. You’re not any worse or doing something wrong just because you asked for help. Your situation is crap. Your wife cheated. And you found out that you aren’t even related to two people that you love anymore. That sucks. To be honest, your problem transcends my expertise.
You are really in a rough spot right now and most men won’t even get to experience that. I could teach you how to win her back, but your wife sounds poisonous. A poison that I would hate myself for helping you with.
I think that you want nothing but happiness and to move away from the negative crap in that relationship, most of all in your sexual confidence. Well, here, I will teach you all about the basics.
However, when it comes out of your self-doubting mindset, I honestly think that’s reaching a bit more into your life than meeting women. So, let’s improve that sexual confidence, shall we?
The secret to amazing sexual confidence happens to be knowledge. If you know what you should do, when you should do it and why those things make her feel good, you’ll be confident because you know about the intense pleasure that you are giving her deep down.
Now here is the most vital thing you have to learn about sex: Female Orgasms Begin In Their Minds. This means that your tactics in bed, your size and your stroke only play small parts in whether she will want to sleep with you or not. As a matter of fact, a big part of sex for women would be male dominance and feeling like they can submit themselves to you completely.
So, whenever you carry the sexual innuendo tactics with you into bed, along with dominance, you will be sexually unstoppable when it comes to women. Plus, if you slow things down – perhaps around half a minute or so at every physical escalation stage – she will get incredibly turned on and an orgasm will be turned into a promise instead of a mere possibility. I hope this helps you.
How To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Better Over Your Ex
Women will always be jealous of each other. Just as men size up each other the first time they meet, women do the same albeit in a less obvious, more gossipy manner. And this level of jealousy that comes naturally for women against other women escalates when the other woman presents an actual reason, pose a real threat. It’s not an issue of confidence, despite what some people may think.
And after all, who could pose a bigger threat to your girlfriend than your ex-girlfriend?
See, your ex does not need to do anything to make your girlfriend jealous – it comes naturally. That ‘ex-girlfriend’ status she has will always ring the alarm for your girlfriend no matter how logical it is or not. And it is up to you, dearest boyfriend, to do something to make your girlfriend feel better, secure and happy about her current status as your girlfriend and not one bit feel threatened about the ex.
Here are some tips that you could use for everyday and for those rare and critical moments that you find yourselves in the same room as the ex-girlfriend:
- Always show and tell her how proud you are of her. The simple compliments should come regularly, and a little PDA – the possessive kind (holding hands, peck on the cheek every now and then, putting your arm around her) – should do the trick. Do both and more frequently when the ex-girlfriend is looking. Some say this is a display that is meant for the girlfriend, but really, the true and logical purpose is to let your girlfriend know that your attention is on her and her alone. Let her know that you don’t care about your ex’s presence.
- Never, ever talk about your ex. So if in the name of civility you have to talk to your ex, and your girlfriend can’t do anything about it out of common decency, the only real and effective way to fix the damage on this is to never let it go beyond that. So you exchange common courtesies, ask about each other’s welfare, and zap. That’s about it. The conversation between you and your girlfriend after what seems like an awkward forever moment for her should not include anything about your ex. So you said hi and hello, insignificant exchange of stories – these are not important enough to be the topic of another conversation. So be quick to start a different conversation with your girlfriend soon afterwards.
- Don’t get mad if she feels jealous. Women’s jealousy is highly unexplained and purely logical in this context. But that does not mean you have to start a fight about it. Let her be jealous, let her get mad, let her tell you stuff – stay calm and carry on making her feel awesome. She’d be so sorry later for the way she acted and you’d likely be rewarded.
- Always tell her that you love her. Really, for women, it all boils down to this. We just need to always and constantly be reminded that our boyfriends love and appreciate us and the no other woman – exes included – could change that. Really, that’s all.