The Simplest (And Most Direct) Way To Get Out Of The Friend Zone… Fast!
Given my job as a Shogun Method coach, guys ask me for advice almost every single day…
And what I’m most commonly asked is this:
“How the heck do I get out of the friend zone!?”
Don’t feel bad.
I mean, is there any guy who hasn’t fallen into the dreaded “Friend Zone”?
Table of Contents
- The Simplest (And Most Direct) Way To Get Out Of The Friend Zone… Fast!
- The Friend Zone Is An “Every Guy” Problem
- Why Do Guys Fall Into The Friend Zone?
- How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Fast!
- How To Appeal To A Woman’s Subconscious Mind
- How To Escape The Friend Zone, And Jump Into The “Boyfriend Zone”
- How To Get From Friend To Boyfriend: Use Fractionation
The Friend Zone Is An “Every Guy” Problem
In my case, I remember being in my early 20’s, and crushing hard on this art student called Angela.
She was not that beautiful, I gotta admit that to ya…
On a scale of 1 (Rosie O’Donnell) to 10 (Charlize Theron), she was perhaps a 6.5.
And yet… there’s something about her that really captivated me.
Indeed, I was head over heels in love with her. I never felt like that about a woman before, ever.
(And believe me… every horny cliché you’ve ever heard about art students is true.)
But here’s the thing…
Every time I tried to put the moves on her I would hit a stone wall…
…because according to her we were “just good friends.”
“Jimmy, let’s just be friends. I mean, really, really good friends.”
Looking back today I realize what a fool I was.
I mean screw Angela, I should have moved on immediately.
But I also realize it wasn’t my fault.
At that age I had no idea what I was doing with women.
And if you’ve been friend zoned my advice is to get over her.
I say this because before you can do something about it, you have to let go of the pain… and start thinking logically.
You see, you can get OUT of the friend zone…
But it starts with not getting INTO the friend zone.
(Think of it like Mordor, if you end up there you’re an idiot.)
Why Do Guys Fall Into The Friend Zone?
Why do women put men in the “Friend Zone?”
I could give you a thousand superficial reasons why this happens…
…but what it all boils down to this particular concept:
It’s important for you to understand this, so pay attention, alright?
Answer this question for me:
Imagine you’ve just met a woman… what happens?
Well, you talk to her.
You talk and talk and talk and find out everything about her, what you have in common and so on.
Slowly, you start seeing all those dreaded friend zone signs…
You ramp things up and try harder… but what does that do?
It turns her into your FRIEND.
There’s nothing wrong with this at all… it’s how long you stay as a friend to her which brings you all sorts of problems.
This is what happens if you overdo rapport:
Firstly, if you stay in the rapport stage for too long she becomes comfortable with you.
Remember… if there’s no tension, there’s no attraction.
Second, building too much rapport makes her think she’s the one being chased.
This gives her the power to reject you outright… or at least, put you in the “Friend Zone”.
And it gets worse…
Third, too much rapport makes you too much alike.
For her to feel emotional and sexual arousal there need to be differences between you.
(These differences are what create sparks and attraction.)
But this can’t happen now because, “you’re just good friends.”
How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Fast!
In Shogun Method speak, you’ve developed “Contextual Rapport” with her.
Worse than that, you’re now the sexless nice guy.
And this means you CANNOT escalate, otherwise you’re labelled as, “Creepy.”
Believe it or not, “getting out of the friend zone” is my fucking specialty.
In fact, I’m sort of like the guy from Prison Break.
I would purposely get myself into the friend zone just so I could break out of it.
This might sound crazy, but it proves escaping the friend zone is entirely possible.
So, what’s the secret then?
You have to learn how to communicate directly with the emotional part of her mind.
(As Derek Rake has pointed out, female psychology is divided into two parts: emotional and rational. To persuade a woman, you need to appeal to the emotional side of her brain.)
You’re in the friend zone because you’ve not elicited enough emotions out of her.
You’re just another guy she has great “friendly” conversations with.
(You’re one of the girls basically.)
So, your first job is to turn her back on.
To do this you have to “attack” the emotional side of her brain. You’ll do this by “hacking” into her subconscious mind.
How To Appeal To A Woman’s Subconscious Mind
You’ve already know that a woman thinks in two ways:
Emotionally and rationally.
Let’s push this idea a little further.
You can communicate with a woman in two ways: consciously and subconsciously.
You can think of the subconscious and conscious as hot and cold…
- The subconscious mind is “Hot” because it’s the emotional part of her mind and makes decisions based on emotions.
- The conscious is “Cold” because it’s the logical part of her mind and makes decisions analytically.
And to get her to think of you as “more than a friend”, you need to appeal to her subconscious mind (i.e. the emotional part of her brain).
VAKSOG Modes Of Communication
Here’s the technique you use to appeal to a woman’s subconscious:
This isn’t a military acronym.
It refers to your six senses, and the letters stand for…
The woman brain is constantly taking in information from outside. This information comes in and is processed through her senses.
She looks, hears, touches, smells, tastes and interacts with the world around her, and this extends to the way she communicates.
And as it turns out, women have a preference for one or more of these “VAKSOG” sensory modes. And they communicate with language that reflects them.
VAKSOG Sensory Mode Examples
Well, it’s really not. Let me show you an example…
Let’s say you ask what her favorite movie is.
She tells you it’s “Pretty Woman” and you ask what she likes about it.
“Well, the cinematography is beautiful, some of the camera shots of the city are incredible. The film is super colourful too, plus Richard Gere isn’t too bad to look at!”
This example suggests she processes the world visually.
(And that’s the “V” in the VAKSOG framework.)
And in response you would also use Visual language.
“True. I remember seeing that at the cinema, actually. Weird, I remember that day like it was yesterday. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I got to look at Julia Roberts for two hours. Looks like a good day in hindsight, at least!”
Here’s the basic idea:
Mimic her VAKSOG mode of communication.
Listen closely, figure out how she sees the world, and use words which fit her communication style.
When you get this right it’s like magic…
She will feel like you know her better than anyone she’s ever met…
…and will open up to you completely.
How To Escape The Friend Zone, And Jump Into The “Boyfriend Zone”
So, let’s say you’re matching her VAKSOG modes, and you’re seeing some change in her…
If you do this right, she’ll start to see you in a different light.
And guess what? It’s time to ramp things up.
Remember, you don’t want to stay in Rapport stage forever.
(That is essentially the definition of the “Friend Zone”.)
So once she’s hot and bothered you want to start escalating.
To do this, start talking about dating and relationships, and work things round to where you can ask her for a date.
Don’t chicken out. This is your moment!
It’s like Luke Skywalker flying through the Death Star trench.
Make no mistake…
You’ve only got one chance…
…and if you hesitate…
She’ll shut you out and you’ll be permanently stuck in the friend zone.
And what that happens, it’s going to be tremendously horrible for you. Don’t risk it!
How To Get From Friend To Boyfriend: Use Fractionation
As you’ve just seen, breaking out of the friend zone takes more than just, “being yourself…”
Or being a, “Good friend.”
Or following her around like a dog…
Or reading those bullshit dating or “Pickup Artist” guides…
(What “Pickup Artists” teach is primitive technology compared to the Shogun Method. Those guys can only hint at what I can show you for real.)
Some people call these methods “manipulative” and “exploitative“.
That’s true to some extent. I gotta admit it.
To me, it’s more like cracking a safe.
And the easiest way to do this is not by hoping it will open one day…
…but by exploiting its flaws and weaknesses.
Makes sense, right?
If you’re willing to exploit certain psychological flaws (which all women have, by the way) you can open ANY safe.
And make almost ANY woman fall in love with you.
Think of all the pain, hurt and jealousy you felt after being friend zoned.
What would you do to escape it, and make her YOURS?
Imagine how great it will feel when you’re finally in a relationship with that woman you’ve wanted forever.
And if you want that to come true, you must take the first step:
Learn more about these “manipulative”/ “exploitative” tactics at Derek Rake’s Online Masterclass:
On that page, enter your best email address.
Why? Well, because the invite to the Masterclass is delivered through email. (If you qualify, that is. Derek can be pretty strict about who to let in.)
With this knowledge, getting stuck in the friend zone will be a thing of the past. Give it a shot!