How Can I Be Dominant And Not Pushy At The Same Time?
“I’ve met a few great women that I want to consider who aren’t exactly 10s, but 8s and 9s. I’m not the greatest looking guy out there, but I’m not too shabby, either. There’s this one girl I particularly like. I feel connected to her on various levels. What would be a great way to mention I want to spend more time with her without looking pushy or forcing her into it? How to be dominant with women but not be obnoxious about it?” – Jimmie P. from Anaheim, CA
Derek Rake’s Answer:-Make the first move and use what you have learned in your actions. This alone can put you miles ahead of other men when it comes to women. To be honest, just ask for more dates.
Asking her “Hi, I want to spend more time with you”, though, would be a death sentence, so avoid doing this, no matter what. If you say that, you’re basically revealing that you want to spend a lot of time with her because you’re needy (even if you think this isn’t the case).
So, talk about a great adventure you’re about to go on and invite her to go. Then, schedule several more dates as each idea comes to you. Don’t talk about it directly, though, or you will scare her away. This is especially true if you’re dating younger women.
How Can I Get Girls To See Me As The Dominant One?
“I have no trouble talking to girls, but I’m simply not sexual enough most of the time, so they end up seeing me as nothing more than just a friend. I have tried using sexual innuendo, but to no avail.
Also, do you have any tips on conveying dominant body language in a party or club environment? Should I maybe lead her to certain places, sit her down properly, place my hand on her back? I just really need to show some sexuality or dominance somehow.” – Charles G. from Maidstone, ON
Derek Rake’s Answer:-Let us concentrate on dominance. If you want to portray dominant body language, you have to lead. All of the things you have mentioned above are great.
Seriously, if you concentrate on thinking in a dominant manner, your actions will be dominant, too. So, try this focus out instead of looking for new tactics:
“I have self control. I can decide things on my own and decide things for other people. I am capable of making anybody feel happy and safe.”
Don’t just think it, though. Make sure you really feel this way. This might take several tries, but after you master this focus, you will always have dominant body language whatever you do.
How Can I Stay Dominant, Even When Things Get Hard?
“I have some more questions here and I would be very appreciative if you could answer teem for me. I have attempted to keep a more dominant focus, like you suggested, but this battle has been going strictly uphill. It works for a bit, but once I trigger something, such as a bad look, or a hesitance in approaching a woman, it gets very hard for me to get out of it. It’s almost like the focus can’t match my stuck state.
I think I could really use some help in finding out more about this ‘dominant focus’ overall. So, if I want to have a relaxed and entertained focus, are there any particular mental steps I have to take? Are there any particular exercises I can do before going out, for example, or is there a certain mantra or script I should keep in mind? Most importantly, how can I recover when something affects my emotions negatively?” – Travis C. from Croki, NSW
Derek Rake’s Answer:-This problem happens to be a very common one. As the saying goes, “old dogs can’t me taught new tricks”. They say this because once a bad habit is formed, it becomes hard to break that particular habit. And, well, the way you think actually is a type of mental habit.
So, whenever you change your way of thinking, you try to do something similar to giving up smoking This means that you will probably screw up every now and then.
So, what you have to do is catch yourself whenever you feel down, then instantly do whatever you can to get your dominant focus back.
Think: “No. I am very dominant. I just had a horrible mental habit that I am now letting go to get back to my real dominant self.” Since this statement is rational, your brain will end up holding onto it and your logic will, in turn, accept it. All of this will help you ease into the transition back to your dominant focus.
There’s no need to worry, either. It won’t take too long to get rid of the habit. And, the minute you do, you will see it was well worth every struggle.
How Can I Ignite More Passion In Women?
“I find myself getting tired of games and even women. Now, don’t take this the wrong way: I have no interest in switching teams. I think it just has something to do with the women that I meet, really.
But what else can I do if I’ve lost interest in the games and if I only want to have sex with women? What can I do if a couple of hours is becoming too long to listen to their nonsense in order to get them into bed? Plus, these women generally hardly do anything anymore when we do end up making out or having sex.” – Donald M. from Grand Rapids, MI
Derek Rake’s Answer:-Truthfully, you sound jaded because of your lack of success in the female department. I’m not trying to insult you or anything; I’ve been through it, too. This usually happens if you’re going through a bad breakup or a low streak.
Unfortunately, I can’t give you a step-by-step guide on overcoming this phase since time is really the only thing that will cure it. But I can teach you how to ignite more passion in women overall.
This technique comes in the form of three basic steps:
- Take note of something that you can call “passionate”. For example, if she talks to her friends excitedly or touches you.
- Point this passionate thing out to her.
- Mention how much you like that she’s passionate. Then say something like: “I love that you’re so passionate when it comes to your friends. You actually seem to be a very passionate person overall. That’s great.”
By doing this, you can ignite more passion out of her. This works every single time – believe it.
What Should I Do? My Wife Hates Me
“The thrill is gone, Derek. It’s even worse… I think she genuinely loathes me. What to do when your wife hates you?” – Joe from San Diego, CA
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Not hard at all. Remember: the opposite of love is not hate: it’s indifference. In fact, love and hate are the opposite sides of the same coin. Follow this advice and you’ll be golden.
What Should I Do If She Doesn’t Want To Get Physical Yet?
“I’ve been dating a girl for more than a month and we’ve gone on several casual dates and to several parties downtown… We get along very well and laugh a lot together. I quite like her, but I somehow feel that there are several obstacles in the way of us getting physical. Around three weeks ago, I attempted to make my move but she told me she was not ready for physical things just yet – in a nice way, of course. She even stressed the ‘yet’ and said she liked me, so she felt a little bad that she couldn’t give me exactly what I wanted. I was a bit annoyed, but told her it was alright for me to wait. After that, we saw each other a few more times and we had tons of fun every time – without sex or any other physical contact, for that matter, aside from the good night hug. Recently, she told me over IM that she was confused about her feelings but that she had too much on her mind to verbalize it. Now, I am attracted to this girl and am very anxious to get her int he sack.” – Wesley D. from Polk City, FL
Derek Rake’s Answer:-There are several things you need to do here: be less available, use a bit of jealousy and, most importantly, you need to take that control back! You sure gave her the controls here, huh?
If she keeps dictating the speed at which you will get physical with her, she will keep having the power in the relationship (or worse, she might just turn into a female psychopath). Basically, she will get to call all the shots (like, a female psychopath).
Since you’re the man, you have to be the dominant one and make the decisions. This doesn’t in any way mean you should pin her to the bed and force her into sex – that would be disgusting and, not to mention, a crime. However, you should escalate things with her physically all the time.
If she actually says no, that’s alright. It’s also alright if she wants you to stop. However, allowing her to state that she doesn’t want anything physical yet and becoming passive afterwards will make her lose interest in you. (And if she loses interest, the read this instead.)
Girls like it when men take the lead, so you can say “okay”, but still try to escalate things physically. This, in turn, will turn them on and make them like you more. Plus, it will turn that “yet” into an “alright, I’m ready” in no time.
As backwards as it seems, the more physical things get now, the better it will be in the long run. Take charge. Be a leader. And damn it, touch her already. This whole game is a physical one, after all.