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“Derek Rake! My wife is always angry and negative. What should I do?”
Yes, this is one of the most frequently asked questions I get from my brother Shoguns. And if that’s your question too, then I’ll answer it today in this guide.
Yep, it’s no fun being with a wife who’s such an angry Debbie Downer all the time. It’s like every single day, she says or does something that makes you think: “I didn’t sign up for this.”
And you know what? That’s not even the worst part.
The worst news is that if you don’t change her fast, your marriage will fail.
I mean, it’s guaranteed. No doubt about it. One way or another, your marriage will go down the drain, and people will think it was your fault.
That’s the worst news of all.
Well, the first thing you need to do is to understand why she’s always angry and negative.
And guess what–at the very core, there are only two possible reasons.
So let’s start there.
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Why Your Wife Is Always Angry And Negative
So here are the two reasons why your wife is always angry and negative.
The first possible reason is this. She’s crazy.
By that, I mean she has mental issues, or emotional baggage… you get the idea.
She’s suffering from something that nothing short of professional help will cure.
And because of these fucked-in-the-brain problems, she’s simply unable to handle the married life, even if she wanted to.
It’s like trying to run a marathon on a broken foot. It just can’t be done, no matter how much you try.
So that’s the first possible reason. And it accounts for, say, 3-5% of all difficult marriages.
Yup. Only 5% at most.
You know the reason behind the 95%+ of difficult marriages?
It’s the second possible reason why your wife is so angry and negative. It’s because she’s feeling insecure, scared, and frustrated at your lack of leadership.
Yup–I hate to say it. Your wife might be crazy, sure, but more likely? She’s just acting out because she’s absolutely, incredibly stressed out…
…and it’s probably because of you.
It’s Not Your Fault
Now, I’m not saying it’s your fault because it’s probably not.
What I am saying is that while it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility to fix her dysfunction.
If your wife is negative and angry all the time, you’re the only one who can straighten her out. She’s totally helpless, and she needs you to sort shit out for her.
Let me explain.
If you’ve read my other guides before (or, if you’re a Shogun), then you probably know my background by now.
I lead a brotherhood called Shogun Method. We’re a group of 17,000 men around the world who do one thing. And that is to study the science behind the female mind and apply what we find to our relationships… so we can be better men and be better husbands and boyfriends to our wives and girlfriends.
And do you know one of the most important things we discovered?
It’s this: In marriage, the female mind has two basic needs. And these needs easily overpower any other needs she might have.
These two needs are–
- The need to be led by a strong, dominant man.
- Material and financial security for herself and her offspring.
Now, if you can’t meet even just one of these needs for your wife, what happens?
She’ll get stressed out, that’s what.
And from stress, she’ll lash out with anger and negativity. This is her brain’s crisis mode. It’s Mother Nature’s way of telling you to man up and start meeting her needs like you’re meant to.
It’s instinctive. Women have been doing it to their partners throughout our entire history. And it’ll be like that for a long, long time.
The next obvious question is: How do you change her? How do you make her stop being so angry and negative? How can you turn her into a warm, loving, ever-supportive wife?
That’s what I’ll discuss in just a moment.
How To Change Your Wife (For The Better)
So here are three ways you can make your wife change (to be the better woman she wants to be.) This is also the de facto strategy on how to train your wife, Shogun Method style.
The first is to adopt a “my life, my rules” kind of attitude.
Remember, your wife is acting out because she doesn’t see you as a strong, dominant man.
So you need to show her the opposite, and fast. And a great way to do that is with the “my life, my rules” attitude.
So how does that go?
This simply means you never allow yourself to get emotionally riled by external forces.
This includes stuff like politics, the news, or even your wife’s nagging.
Whenever these annoyances crop up, you shrug them off because you don’t live under their rules. Politics or the news don’t have any control over you, and neither does your wife.
So do that first. Your life, your rules.
Secondly, you should start making decisions without asking for her permission.
Here’s why. Asking for permission immediately makes you look weak. You’re making her look like she has power over you.
And that’s just going to stress her out even more.
Make your own decisions. If she gets mad because you didn’t ask for permission, let her. The greater good is that she starts seeing you as someone to respect.
And lastly, get financially secure.
That is–you got to have enough money flowing into your life that even if you stopped working, you’d be fine. Earn fuck you money and be free.
That’s a huge help in making your wife feel more secure and less stressed.
Plus, it shows her that you’re a guy who can make things happen. Nothing can be more reassuring for a wife.
Do these three things, and you’ll see her very quickly stop being so angry and negative.
And instead, she’ll start being the warm, loving, supportive and submissive wife you’ve always wanted.
Where To Go From Here
Now, you might be asking: “That sounds like a lot of work, Derek!”
Well, if you are, why are you surprised? Marriage is for the long haul. And so your approach should be for the long haul, too.
At the same time–sure, I get what you’re saying. It’d be great to get results fast, especially when you’re at your wit’s end with your wife.
So I recommend you use a fourth technique, as well. And this one’s called Fractionation.
Put simply, it’s a way of speaking to your wife that does three things–
- It makes her stop nagging, and instead, she’ll be subservient and loyal to you.
- It makes her mentally surrender to your leadership.
- It makes her feel emotionally addicted to you.
The third point is especially important. When she’s addicted to you, she won’t do anything that might potentially drive you away.
And that includes being angry and negative.
Remember: it’s all about emotional addiction. Dependency. Or, in a Shogun’s word: