How To Talk To Women

How Can I Bag A Girl If She Speaks Another Language?

“I live in another country right now and I don’t speak the language here fluently. The thing is: not everyone here speaks English. I want to pick girls up, but I can’t always find girls who can speak the same language as me. What can I do? I’m getting desperate and can’t wait to leave this place but I don’t want to let go of the other benefits I have here. How can I pick up girls in this kind of situations, whether in a club or during the day?” – Sheldon C. from Lakeside Park, KY

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

To be honest, you just need to use some body language. Touch, especially the protective kind, is vital here; sexual tension and voice tone all the more so.

Pick girls up the way you would any other girl with the same language but stick to basic conversations. This is so the both of you can understand what is happening and can let the physical stuff escalate more smoothly. She will leave with you after that – no worries.

You simply have to quit thinking about words having a massive effect on all women. It is entirely possible to go out with a girl without speaking, as long as you understand each other once in a while. 🙂 You can manipulate a woman psychologically without saying anything – serious.

How Can I Come Up With Interesting And Fun Things To Say?

“I have trouble introducing attractive and fun conversational topics with women. Primarily, I ask questions in order to pick up cues to ask some more or to make commands and statements. The thing is, I can never find anything interesting to talk about. I’m sure you will advise me to buy conversation cure, but I just don’t have money for that right now lol. I’m only 19, but I want to start my game up as soon as I can. I think it would help me tons if you had any basic conversation skills I can use. I understand a lot about body language and things, but I simply have no idea how to start up my skills in conversation. It’s horrible to be in this position. How do I keep a woman interested in me?“ – Kenneth C. from Lenexa, MO

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

To be honest, you definitely called me out on that, but I’ll still tell you a secret. Since I only have several words to teach you this, I have to make it count. Everybody’s Most Interesting Subject Is Themselves!

So, this constant worry that you have because you ask her personal questions to thread onto new subjects… (Good job by the way. These newsletters really have worked for you. A+ for using your brains) …that constant worry is very unfounded.

Deep inside, she wants you to ask about her friends, her family, her desires, passions, experiences and dreams. So if you let her eel talking, she will find you extremely interesting.

I know this sounds strange, but try it out. Ask her about her passions and go from there. She will blow your mind. Just make sure that you touch her as you listen and that you physically escalate things.

If you are genuinely interested as she talks about herself and escalate things physically the entire time, there is no way you won’t succeed much, much more with women compared to your current state, most of all after you practice a bit more.

How Can I Have Substantial Conversations?

“I’m quite good with openers, but sometimes, that’s as far as I get. I hardly ask for phone numbers since I feel like the chance to do so never really comes out. Whenever I’m out, I’m either very cocky or very nice. None of these mindsets work. If I’m nice, girls ignore me, but if I’m cocky, they see me as a douche. My female interactions hardly ever involve substance, simply put.

So, I have a question: what mindset do I need to go on the town with? Do you have any examples of how to look at certain things? Also, how can I create substantial interactions with women? I want good interactions in order to escalate things and see women again.” – Edward S. from Benton Harbor, MI

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

You need to find a medium that is happy. Cockiness is never a turn-on and niceness isn’t, either. Be friendly and dominant in order to turn women on. Be dominant. Be confident. And always be friendly with anyone around her.

Earn her trust and she will get turned on by your actions instead of your words. Touch her a lot and escalate things on a physical level. Isolate her. Also, the entire time, learn more about her and do basic sexual shaping.

Since you’ve only been choosing from extremes at the moment, you have to find a middle ground to depend on. Being dominant and warm can give you that.

When it comes to substantial conversations, just be interesting. Shit dude, just say something interesting or talk about things that you find interesting. If there is nothing interesting for you to talk about, mention something you are very passionate about or make her start up a conversation about her own passions.

Ask her, “What’s your passion? Why do you love it so much?” Then learn to like something about those passions of hers or about her, in general. (Of course, this works better on narcissistic women, naturally.)

Doing all of that will make you a highly interesting guy – I promise. 🙂

Will These Tactics Work In Various Languages?

“Hi Derek! First of all, I want to say that I am a huge fan of The Rake Letter and I truly appreciate all of them. However, I have this huge problem. I currently reside in Japan and because I am Asian, I feel that the game works differently over here. I think girls here simply aren’t social enough to allow strangers to come up to them just to talk. Also, I’m only 18 years old, so I can’t go to Japanese clubs just yet. Lastly, does this game work in various languages?” – Gary W. from Hopkins, MN

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

I have never visited Japan before, but I have visited Thailand, Indonesia and China, in which my students and I have succeeded tremendously.

You simply have to keep in mind that humans have had sex long before language even appeared. As a matter of fact, hundreds of years back, humans mated on non-verbal communication and dominance alone.

Therefore, it can be concluded that dominance, sexual tension, mind control and intrigue will all work on any country’s women and any language.

What Can I Do If She Has My Number But I Don’t’ Have Hers?

“So, how come she didn’t give me her phone number? I’m guessing she has a boyfriend or didn’t want to give it to me because she was at work. I’ve had that happen to me before when I tried to pick up a girl who was catering. She said I should catch her after work. I couldn’t really stay for that long, though, because I was about to leave. So should I wait until she texts me later in the week? What if she loses my number? And what if I go back to say Hey the following week – won’t that make me look like a stalker? Won’t that scare her off and make me look needy – just because she didn’t get in touch yet? Should I wait and think she’s taken since I might bug her if I try to pursue her more?” – Christopher H. from San Francisco, CA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

If she didn’t give you her phone number, then she probably wasn’t very attracted to you. What you need is more sexual tension and more dominance. Right now, though, let us concentrate on that situation of yours first and the questions that will eventually lead to the same answer.

Be playfully persistent. If you choose to go see her again, be playful when you do. And when she gives you her number, do the same. Send her likable texts and she is sure to remember you. Don’t compose any needy ones, either, or try to get things from her. Simply stay in touch every few weeks and she will eventually tell you to back off or agree to go out with you.

As a matter of fact, I am now seeing a girl that I texted for nine months before actually going out with. So, provided you stay persistent, playful and dominant, your chances of getting her are high.

Also keep in mind to touch her whenever you see each other! Don’t be a creep, though. 🙂

What Is Better: Email Or Phone?

“How can I get a girl to respond to my emails? When we talk over the phone, she pretends like nothing happens.” – Gordon J. from Glendale, CA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

If you’re already talking over the phone, why are you worrying about the emails? Women tend to like different things. While some women prefer texts, others prefer voice mails and still others prefer emails.

Figure out what your woman tends to respond to better and stick with it. This will pay off more as more time goes by. 🙂

What Would Be Too Long A Time Between Meeting Someone And The First Phone Call Or Email?

“I went to a bar the other night and met a girl. I saw her from the moment she came in, but she had another guy with her. She randomly approached my table where I was sitting with some colleagues and went ‘Wow, this is awkward.’ I asked what she meant and she told me that she came with a friend without knowing that her ex and his new girl would be there. I asked whether she wanted to join us and when she did, we started talking. I even came up with a great line: ‘It will only be awkward if you make it awkward and there’s no reason to do that. It was clearly his loss. If they really gave a shit, they would be here by now instead of allowing you to sit and talk with me.’ I felt confident, relaxed, cool and calm.

I occasionally tried to touch her leg to develop attraction and comfort. She didn’t seem too bothered, but she also didn’t reciprocate the touches, either. After around 10 minutes, I still thought things were alright and was thinking about asking for her number.That’s when some of her friends walked in and she decided to go say hey. The guy she came with approached them, too, and he talked to her for bait. They appeared to be quite close, so I had no idea what to do from there. After that, they sat down with the friends who came in and they left before I had the chance to get her phone number.

That’s when my confidence fell and the voice inside of me told me that she liked her ‘friend’ more and thus ended up forgetting about me. That was long; sorry about that, but I did want to give you enough information about my situation. Here are my questions:

1. Because I lost the chance to get her phone number, would I look pathetic if I sent her a Facebook message to find out whether she would go on a date with me sometime? What other approach can I take to show interest yet still show confidence and not look desperate?

2. It’s Sunday now but I met her on Thursday. Is my opportunity window already closed? Should I simply learn from this and get a move on?

I always have problems closing with girls. Maybe I’m not confident enough yet when it comes to my game.Maybe that’s why I’m always several steps behind and react a bit too slow. I think I have tons of potential and I know I can do it. It’s just that I still struggle too much in meeting and closing with the kind of women I actually like. I don’t have too many problems starting up conversations, but I struggle in closing with them and approaching mixed or big sets.

Maybe I simply have no idea what to do or how to show higher value to girls that I like. I would appreciate any advice that you have and appreciate that you took the time to read this. I’m sure you get an influx in your inbox from thousands of emails every day and you can’t read and respond to all of them, but any tips or insight that you have would really be appreciated.” – Stephen S. from Helenvale, QLD

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

First of all, what is this showing higher value crap? You do read the Rake Letter, don’t you? Have I ever given out a green light that tells you to wait for signs from her prior to making your move? That just reeks of utter low dominance and confidence and absolutely no sexual tension.

This is why I don’t like the bullshit models that the majority of pickup artists out there teach: they’re far too passive! You keep waiting and waiting until everything is “safe”.

The truth is: doing anything when it isn’t safe – even if it’s wrong – will make women want you. As you said, there are certain opportunity windows with women. Once they pass you by, they will be gone for life.

Sadly, these are normally in conversation areas that aren’t safe, either. They are how women screen men from boys. So, do you want to be a man or not? Then allow yourself to make a huge mistake with women – provided that window doesn’t pass by while you wait for the girl to touch you or any other crap like that. Alright, I’m done getting you down. On to the advice that will boost your spirits once again. 🙂

If you looked for her on Facebook, you’ll be in a bit more trouble compared to if she gave you her Facebook name. Actively looking for her will bring you down a level, but you can still recover from it.

Firstly, no. It is never too late to contact her, so you are 100% okay to get in touch. Just make sure you keep things light and playful.

If you ask her out right away, you will look like you are moving far too fast. What you want to do is exchange emails with her first, so you can build trust, not attraction. Learn more about her. Open up your personality to her. Once things are going well for a while, that would be your window to ask for her number.

From there, talk for a bit, exchange several texts and push to see her in person. Jumping from a Facebook message to a date will be too fast. Take baby steps and you’ll be alright. 🙂