How Can I Break Up With A Girl Without Her Getting Hurt?
“I have been with my girlfriend for around four months now. As with every guy, I am starting to lose interest in her and want to find something better. She’s been nagging me about marriage recently, and I’m not too eager to have a controlling wife in my life. I simply don’t feel the way I felt with her in the beginning, but she still likes me a lot, so I want to learn how I can end things without her getting hurt too much. Do you have any recommendations or suggestions?” – William N. from Rochelle Park, NJ
Derek Rake’s Answer:Breakups are never easy and are always difficult to do. However, the greatest way to get it done would be this way: respect her, sit her down – in person – and trust tell her what you feel.
Ask whether she knows why any of this is even happening. Ask what she feels for you and how she feels about your entire relationship. Talk to her about it. If you still want to end things at the end, don’t just “dump” her. After all, she spent four months with you and you spent four months with her.
Just tell her you believe the relationship has made it as far as possible and that it will eventually hurt someone if it keeps going on. Also tell her that you would like to be single once again. End things in a friendly manner.
Nobody deserves a dumping. She doesn’t. You don’t. Hopefully, one day in the future, once a girl believes your relationship is falling apart, she will sit you down and give you the exact same kind of courtesy. Either way, you will still feel much better because of it as more time goes by.
What Would Be The Greatest Way To Start Things Fresh?
“My question is one that I believe several guys will relate to. Simply put, what advice can you give to a guy who wants to start fresh? I have personally had some success in my younger high school and college days. I had several girlfriends and occasional friends with benefits, but always knew it was possible to step up my game and take full control of the sex that I got. However, ever since I got introduced to this entire seduction community, I have turned into an information guru who soaks up lots of information, but can’t sort out the good from the bad. This, in turn, has turned me into a failure with the ladies! I am basically confused and I’m pretty sure tons of guys out there are, too, yet I feel that getting girls can’t be this hard. I really believe that there is no need for tons of audio courses and e-books to succeed with women. However, I also feel that people need guidance sometimes, so I suppose my question is (after all that rambling), ‘How to make a girl fall in love with you‘? ‘What would be the greatest way to start things up fresh? What would be the most basic (but not the easiest) way to succeed with women?’ Sorry if this email is long, but I do feel that tons of guys out there are like me and could use straightforward advice. Thank you for your work; it’s much appreciated.” – Jerry L. from Oconto, WI
Derek Rake’s Answer:You sure hit that right: getting girls isn’t that hard. It’s just that the possibility of getting rejected by them is scary. Thank you for mentioning “most basic (but not the easiest) way”, by the way. This helps me provide you with the greatest advice.
One thing you have to keep in mind is that it doesn’t matter whether girls reject your words or if they snuff you and leave you hanging. That only means you’ve experienced rejection, but you aren’t a reject. See the difference there?
You might get nervous at the thought of approaching women because you are afraid of failure, but you’re not actually afraid of failure itself. You’re afraid of becoming a failure yourself. And you’re afraid of others knowing that you have failed with women, as well.
The truth is: getting rejected once merely means that you got rejected once – that is all. You are still a great guy and millions of women out there today would still die to go out with you. I do promise you that.
So, what would be the greatest way to start things fresh? Go out and speak to women. Firstly, read Shogun Method (reviewed here) once to get a foundation with them and learn about the basic tactics in the book (this can be done in a single read-through).
Secondly, talk to ten different women every day. Start your conversation with “What time is it?” Soon, you will be saying other things. Go crazy and never hold back. Finally, clean yourself off and do everything again. Re-read Shogun Method to learn what else you can work on when it comes to women. And practice more by talking to more of them.
Soon, you’ll be able to get two, three, four – or even, eight, nine or ten – numbers every day. This means that you can get a lot of first dates – more than you can imagine – and a brand new girl whenever you want to. It is really that easy. Of course, once you get hold of this, then there will be minefields to avoid (like, avoiding the friend zone, dealing with a woman’s mind games, keeping her interest in the long run), but you won’t have to be worried about that now.
No matter how small your town might be, you simply need to take more time to talk to women before getting their numbers because you’re sure you will get to see them another time. So take a week to get it and you will get in just as easy. See? Basic, yet not “easy”.