In this blog post I will answer a question emailed to me over the weekend.
Paul Duhan asks:
First, a little background: I perform magic. You might even call me a magician. Recently, I’ve been using it as a way to talk to women. It works pretty well, and I’ve got a lot of tricks up my sleeve so they usually respond.
My problem is that I don’t know how to get past “Hey, funny guy, nice trick.” How do I get girls to change that to “Hey, funny guy, let’s go to my place?”
Derek Rake answers:
Alright, Paul, you’ve got one thing down: your ice-breaker. And it helps that you don’t come across as a wimp. That’s a good start. Magic appeals to women everywhere. It makes you charming, interesting, and mysterious – as well as holding their attention span! It gives them a reason to see you as unique, and a reason to remember you. This will definitely make your stock rise with any woman.
Magic is a great tool to creep in and make an opening statement. It’s a way to make your presence known and establish a conversation without seeming obvious, and you can use that to your advantage in a number of ways.
However, before we start talking about ways of getting girls into bed, you have to realize that approaching women with the mentality of “let’s go to your place” will almost ALWAYS backfire.
One-liners and cute jokes might get you into her good graces, but it’s not going to get you down her pants. Not, unless you use a covert technique like fractionation anyway.
You’ve got to first approach the situation as a gentleman and get to know a little about who she is before you get to know her in bed. It helps to be genuinely interested in who she is, not just where she’s gonna wake up tomorrow morning.
This might sound totally different from the advice of other ‘pickup gurus’ out there – but hear me out here.
If you disregard this advice, you’ll only be hurting your chances. If you’re just out for sex and you act like it, the girl will pick up on your motives in no time flat.
Women are strange creatures, and have a sixth sense about men’s intentions. Always keep that in mind. They know a lot more than we think they do.
In lieu of trying to score right off the bat, take a some time to create rapport with a woman. Talk to her and develop a level of trust. Don’t forget to use positive body language to help you.
Let her talk to you and she’ll develop confidence in your character. Which makes it easier for her to decide to sleep with you.
Think of your magic as the introduction, and before you know it you’ll be chatting her up and she’ll establish a very definite comfort level with you.
If you’re smooth as a magician, try performing tricks that employ physical contact. For example, take her by the hands and lead her towards you. Direct her on how and where to stand, holding her by the waist and moving her into the position you need for the trick.
Introduce her to the audience as your “assistant” (this will help her feel important, as well as establishing a connection between you and her, separating “you and her” from “the rest of the crowd”).
You’ve just created a physical rapport with a woman who otherwise may not have even spoken to you.
Moving on, we’ll pretend you’ve just finished your show. Your “assistant” is fascinated by your tricks and approaches you:
Her: Wow, I’ve never been a magician’s assistant before! That trick was amazing! What’s your secret?
You: I can do a lot more than that silly little trick, if you’d like to see more. That’s why this job is so great!
Her: Job?! Are you telling me you’re a professional magician? That’s so cool!
You: Why yes, I am! If you’d like to see more… (etc, etc)
When you continue the conversation, it’s all about establishing a defined connection with this woman.
You’ve already opened the door, now it’s time to talk about what she likes and doesn’t like, what she thinks, what she’s been through, and everything in between. Making her feel like she is emotionally valuable will go a long way.
The easiest way to get a girl to say “let’s go back to my place” is to remember the following:
Initiating subtle physical contact will not only create a subconscious connection between you and she, it will also prove you’ve got confidence, you know who you are, you’re in control, and you know all the rules to the game.
The next step is to draw her in. Say things she won’t be able to stop herself from responding to. Do things she can’t resist reacting to. Be confident. At this point, she may play hard to get, but that in itself is a sign of attraction.
Have fun with her and tease in a playful manner – like she’s your bratty little sister.
Once you’ve secured this connection with her, and once there’s a level of intimacy she can feel in the conversation, it won’t be too long before she says, “Let’s go back to my place.” Then, you’ll need a resource like Shogun Method to help you seal the deal.