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I was having coffee at Starbucks the other day and overheard a conversation.
“There’s this girl I really like, and I really want her to like me back. What should I do?”
The other guy replied:
“Easy, dude. What do girls like? They like to talk, that’s what. Be a good listener. And she’ll fall in love with you.”
I thought that was stupid.
Why? Because of two reasons.
First: If you’re naturally a terrible listener, you’ll be faking it, right?
Remember: Women have a nose for this kinda thing. With her uncanny bullshit detection superpowers, your charade will look strikingly obvious to her. You’re just another chump putting on fake interest so that you can get into her panties later. Won’t work, sorry.
And here’s the second reason:
If you’re naturally a good listener, congratulations. She’ll love talking to you. You’ll be her shoulder to cry on when times are hard. Like, when she sleeps with Chad Thundercock and he doesn’t call the next day.
Or, in other words: Welcome to the friend zone, buddy.
Now, if someone asks me the same question, here’s my answer:
Leave stupid shit like “be a good listener” to the plebs and their Pickup Artist gurus.
How Shoguns Think Differently
Now, if you are a Shogun like me, you already know you need to think differently.
How different? Two words:
As I once told my brother Shoguns at Shogun Method HQ:
“Plebs know where not to cross the line. The Shogun sees the line and steps over it, no fucks given.”
Now here’s something nobody wants to talk about:
Women love men who cross the line. Women love men who violate their boundaries. This is true!
Before anyone misunderstands, let me clarify this. Boundary Violation is not about breaching a woman’s physical boundaries. Rape allegations are no joke. But you’re smart, and you already know this, right?
With that out of the way, let’s talk more about Boundary Violation.
Boundary Violation comes in different flavors and sizes – from easy to the extreme. So let’s start with something easy: sexualization.
Easy: You make conversation sexual.
When you talk to a woman, overload everything with sexual undertones. Every word you say subcommunicates to her:
“You’re worthy enough to sleep with me.”
How does this violate boundaries?
Remember: sex is taboo – especially when with strangers or someone you’ve just met.
And yes, I want you to do this with a woman the first time you talk to her. Here’s the thing: you want her to see you as a potential partner for sex right off the bat.
Now, if you know Shogun Method and the IRAE Model, then this will make sense to you:
Sexualization will turbocharge your Intrigue Pings. It makes you stand out from those Pickup Artist chumps – you know, the “good listener” types.
So, how do you make conversation sexual?
It’s easy! The key thing to remember is this –
Sexualization is subcommunicated. It’s covert. You never say it outright. Instead, you sexualize the conversation in two ways.
First: With your Tonality.
Use your voice Tonality to make normal words sound sexual. Example – say, in a low, sensual tone of voice –
“Hmm. You look good… in that skirt.”
With your Tonality, you’re undressing her with your words. She’ll feel your intent of wanting to bang her. And yet you’re not saying it outright.
Get it? Good.
What’s the second way to sexualize a conversation with a woman?
This – with your Touch.
Nothing sexualizes an interaction more than Touch. When she gives you any signs of positive interest: laughing at your jokes, strong eye contact, praising you… it’s opportunity to touch her.
Here are some good places to touch her: Hand. Wrist. Forearm. Upper Back. Hair.
Keep to those safe zones and you’ll be fine.
“Derek, isn’t this going to creep her out?”
Good question. And here’s the answer:
Start by gently touching her forearm in a non-sexual way. If she looks uncomfortable, stop.
Now, if you’re a Shogun then you’ll know this:
Only low status plebs are “creepy”. If you’ve got your shit together and you communicate high status right from the get-go, it’s not something to worry about.
Here’s what you should REALLY think about instead –
Boundary Violation, like everything else in Shogun Method, the danger of overdoing it is real. You can go full throttle and yet sexualize your way out of sex. It’s true!
Got all that? Good.
Now, let’s do a quick recap of what we’ve covered in this short article today:
- One: “Be a good listener” is stupid advice.
- Two: To have better conversations with women, sexualization is key.
- Three: There are two things you can do to sexualize a conversation with a woman: with Tonality, and with Touch.
- Four: You’re only a creep if she thinks you’re low value. If you’re high value, you can get away with pretty much anything.
- Five: Shogun Method turns you into a high value man.
Finally, remember this.
For every low value pleb, there’s stupid advice like “be a good listener”. For the rest of us, there’s Shogun Method.
Still wondering if you should be a Shogun? Read this Shogun Method review and decide for yourself.