I gotta confess: I used to say stupid things to women all the time.
Not on purpose, of course. It’s just that before I got this attraction thing handled, I was a clueless geek with the tactfulness of a rhinoceros and the Emotional IQ of an ameba.
Once, I had approached a particularly big-breasted woman with this cringe-worthy line:“Look, I promise I won’t make jokes about your tits like I’m goddamn Jim Carrey, ok?”
I thought it was quite funny at that time… except that she didn’t laugh. The conversation went dead immediately. The room felt like it had plummeted to sub-zero temperature.
My knee-jerk reaction at that time was to blurt out a desperate apology, along the lines of “…uh, sorry for being rude…please forgive me…”
Did it help the situation? Hell, no! Miss Big-Titties just walked away with a dismissive smirk on her face.
If I could, I would knock some sense into my younger self with a tight slap across the face and a swift kick in the balls.
I will then tell him what I tell my clients now:
If you’ve made a mistake, don’t say you’re sorry. Never offer an explanation. Don’t look like you “need” her forgiveness.
Now don’t get me wrong here. In everyday circumstances, apologizing when you’ve made an error is an entirely appropriate thing to do.
Yet when you’re in the midst of seducing a woman (and especially when you’re doing it by the wicked way of the Shogun Method), saying sorry will undercut your position as a superior man in her eyes.
It reminds me the other day of a client who called if he could see me. He sounded like he got himself knee deep in trouble, and so we booked a meeting.
That’s how Monday mornings start for me. Some dude with serious women problem would come in… and I would have to devise some cunning plan to snap him out from the jaw of a gaping shark.
So at 10am, this client (let’s call him Alan) walked into my office, with slumped shoulders and a dejected look on his face.
He told me that his fiancee had caught him having a fling with a coworker. She was as mad as a wet hen. Furious, she had threatened to call off the wedding.
“I don’t want to lose her, Derek,” Alan pleaded, “Help me.”
“OK, tell me first what you plan to say to her,” I replied.
And then came the Hurricane Katrina of Forehead-Slappingly Atrocious Ideas:
He was going to “apologize heartfully” for that little fling that he had with that pretty young coworker of his.
He was going to promise that he won’t cheat on her again, and will “singularly” love her “for a lifetime”.
So when he was done telling me his sob story, I poured him an extra strong cuppa while I told him:
“Alan, there will be no apology. No explanation. No excuses. In fact, I want you to tell her that you’re NOT going to marry her.”
He almost spit out his coffee.
I told him that in a woman’s mind, wimpy apologies and pathetic pleas for mercy are nothing but “triggers” for her to release bottled-up resentment, frustration, anger and other kinds of fooked up crap.
This is a HUGE flaw in the female mind that I’ve pointed out inside the Shogun Method. Inside module 3, I show that being needy and apologetic will actually damage a relationship more than it helps.
The truth is that the past is just that: the past. You can’t undo what you’ve done. She has no choice but to accept that the goose is cooked, and the best thing to do is to move forward.
Alan’s fiancee thought that she had the upper hand when she discovered that Alan had “wronged” her. At that time, she had temporarily gained all the power in the relationship…
… until Alan restored order by following what precisely I asked him to do – by turning the tables and threatening to DUMP her instead.
By doing this, he forced her thoughts to switch from “Should I still marry this guy?” to “What would I do if he dumped me?”
As a result, like the flip of a switch, her demeanor completely changed – from indignant anger to calm obedience. When she called Alan, she pleaded for a chance to “patch things up” and “wipe the slate clean”.
Ah, women. So fascinating, and yet so predictable at the same time. 🙂
So, if you find yourself in a situation where you’ve really messed up with a woman, relax.
With what you know inside the Shogun Method, the female mind is no longer a black box. In fact, you’ll be able to see through any woman as if you’ve got X-ray eyes.
Go here next:
With this knowledge, you’ll have the ability to effortlessly recover from any sticky situation you’re in… without turning into an impotent, sissy, apologetic wimp like other guys.
Derek “Unrepentant” Rake