Overcoming The Nice Guy Syndrome – The Psychology And The Cure
Do you suffer from the “Nice Guy Syndrome?”
Nod if you’ve ever experienced any of the following:
- You did something nice for a woman you liked, but she didn’t seem to appreciate it enough, and so you resented it
- You’re so helpful and kind that the people take you for granted… especially women
- You did everything to please a woman you liked… but she friend-zoned you and hooked up with some jerk instead
If you’ve ever gone through any of the above, then I can totally relate to you.
Yup – I was also a Nice Guy once.
I was the guy you could leave your girlfriend with and trust to never hit on her.
I was the guy who would go out of his way to help you out, even if we weren’t that close.
To a woman, I was the guy she could trust to take her to my place when she got drunk…
…wrap a blanket around her…
…and even cook breakfast for her the following morning…
…without ever touching her inappropriately.
I was that guy.
But everywhere I looked, guys who were less kind, less well-intentioned, less attractive…
…they ALL had hot girlfriends, while I kept getting friend-zoned by the women I liked.
You know those movies where the hero walks in the pouring rain with his face to the sky, asking why life is so unfair?
I was that guy every time I got friend-zoned.
And if you’re reading this guide, chances are you’re that guy, too.
Table of Contents
Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome
After so many years of disappointment, I gave up and thought: “Well, maybe I was wrong.”
I thought, “Maybe being a gentleman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
And I thought, “Maybe it’s time I stopped trying so hard and just be a selfish asshole.”
You feel that way too, right?
Well, here’s some good news for you: I was wrong.
You DON’T need to be an asshole.
But make no mistake – you DO need to make some changes.
Because, after all, you know what they say…
Nice Guys Finish Last
This is true, unfortunately. It’s something I learned the hard way, and something YOU’RE learning the hard way, I imagine.
But Nice Guys finish last NOT because society is unfair, or because women are crazy, or any of that.
Instead, Nice Guys finish last because of human nature.
The female mind is wired to befriend Nice Guys. Evolution has taught women that it’s nice to keep these guys around – they’re always willing to help, even for free.
That’s what’s been happening to you lately. Women are just keeping you around.
But they’re NOT feeling attracted to you because they’re ONLY aroused by strength.
Not provision. Not care. Not security.
STRENGTH AND DOMINANCE.
And that’s why you’re trapped in the Friend Zone.
Nice Guy Syndrome Psychology
The average “bad boy” or “asshole” guy isn’t husband-material at all. They offer little by way of provision, attention, and security.
Even then, women can’t help themselves. Every healthy woman gets wet at the thought of being the partner of a strong, dominant man. (This is why girls love jerks.)
Think of it this way…
You can’t help feeling aroused when a hot, sexy, naked woman looks into your eyes and bites her lip, right?
That’s how women feel when they’re presented with male strength and dominance – only about TEN TIMES as much.
So in light of this new information, what should you do?
Should you stop being a Nice Guy and be a “Jerk” from now on? Should you look for something of a “middle ground” between the two?
We’ll answer those questions later on in this guide.
For now, let’s establish the baseline, and see just how much of a Nice Guy you really are…
The Nice Guy Quiz
Check the following “Nice Guy traits” and see how many apply to you:
- When someone is in distress, you tend to run in and help out even when you’re not asked
- You tend to put the needs of others above your own needs
- You don’t show your own feelings much
- You worry a lot about what other people think of you, so you avoid taking risks and making mistakes
- You’re a peacemaker, and you try to avoid conflict as much as you can
- Whenever you’re building a new relationship with a woman, she becomes your #1 priority in life
- You’re generous, but you give in hopes of making people love and appreciate you
- When someone important to you disapproves of you, it bothers you to no end
- You’re a perfectionist; You want to do everything right, and you want NOTHING to go wrong
Do I Have Nice Guy Syndrome?
So how did you score?
- If you scored 1 or 2, then you’re probably NOT a Nice Guy.
- If you scored 3 or 4, then you probably DO have Nice Guy Syndrome.
- If you scored 5 and above, then there’s no doubt – you ARE a Nice Guy.
Here’s the problem: If you scored 3 or higher, then your Nice Guy syndrome will probably keep you lonely for a long time. You habitually trigger “friend feelings” in too many of the women you like.
So what should you do?
Again, don’t be so quick to think you need to become a Jerk.
Because, as it turns out, being a Jerk is WORSE than being a Nice Guy.
Overcoming The Nice Guy Syndrome
Do Jerks get the girls?
But do Jerks KEEP the girls?
Eventually, the women get tired of Jerk behavior. They leave the Jerk, and they repeat the whole process with ANOTHER Jerk.
That’s a carousel you DON’T want to ride.
So if you’re a Nice Guy, and Jerks get the girls, but you don’t want to be a Jerk either… what should you do?
Here’s what I learned. You got to make her stop seeing you as a Nice Guy.
Instead, you got to make her start FEELING you’re the strongest, most dominant man in her life.
Or more specifically – you want women to see you as a REAL MAN. The total package, where you have the kindness, resourcefulness AND the strength.
Think of the following archetypes, and you’ll have a better idea of what you want women to see you as:
- A gentleman on the streets, but a freak in the sheets (as opposed to just being a gent)
- A Jerk who has a heart of gold deep inside (as opposed to being just a Jerk)
So how exactly do you make a woman feel that way towards you?
With a little Mind Control trick you’re about to learn.
“Fractionation” is the art of putting women on emotional rollercoasters.
By “emotional rollercoasters,” I mean frequent, intensifying cycles of:
- Emotional highs and lows
- Excitement and resolution
- Pressure and relief
- Pain and pleasure
- Romance and non-romance
It’s the same emotional rollercoaster women go through when they hook up with a Jerk. Only with you, women will get authenticity – something they can never find with a Jerk.
The effect is the same, though:
Women will see you as strong and dominant, and they will feel more attracted to and aroused by you.
They’ll start thinking of you as a potential lover – and that’s when you break free of the Friend Zone.
Here’s an example of a Fractionation sequence, using the “romance and non-romance” cycle:
YOU: (Platonic) “Ever been to Barbados? It’s my favorite place in the world.”
HER: “No, what’s it like?”
YOU: (Romantic) “Oh, I think you’ll love it there. My ex-girlfriend and I used to go there once a year. It’s dreamy, it’s sexy, it’s magical… it’s like a different world.”
HER: “Wow… I’d love to see it someday.”
YOU: (Platonic) “Well, the best time to visit Barbados would be February. The weather is awesome, and there’s the Holetown Festival to enjoy. Are you busy on Februaries?”
HER: “Well, not busier than usual…”
YOU: (Romantic): “Well, I’m planning to go there again next February. You should totally come along. We could celebrate Valentine’s there, too.”
Compare that to being full-platonic (the Nice Guy routine, which is boring) or full-romantic (the “jerk” routine, which is too forward). The emotional rollercoaster is the best of both worlds.
It snaps her out of mental autopilot, forces her to pay attention to you, and plants the seed in her mind:
“I wonder what he’s like as a boyfriend?”
That’s how you cure the Nice Guy Syndrome.
Fractionation is one of the most powerful techniques in all of Shogun Method. In fact, it’s so powerful that most Shogun Method techniques have it at its core.
The good news?
If you want to learn how to use Fractionation, then you can do so today.
Simply sign up for my Online Masterclass on Mind Control below:
(NOTE: Use your best e-mail address when signing up. That’s where I’ll send your Invite Ticket as soon as you qualify for the Masterclass.)
P.S: What was the worst Friend-Zoning experience you’ve ever had in your life? Tell me about it in the comments section below.