“Getting Out Of The Friend Zone With The Shogun Method.”
I am recently divorced after 13 years. About two months ago I met a new girl and started developing feelings for her. We have been hanging out a lot lately and the other night she kissed me out of the blue as we were laying in my bed together. The next day she apologized for it and said she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship. I want to be more than friends. How will your program help me? Will it teach me how to escape the friend zone? – Scott Keating, via email
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Scott – She is baiting you with an ATTRACT/REPEL (see the Shogun Method) – she got physical with you (ATTRACT) and then told you that she only wanted to be friends (REPEL). Don’t fall for it!
All you need to do now is to follow the IRAE Model – it looks like you’re beyond Intrigue now. Focus on the techniques inside Rapport now, and forget everything else.
Good luck!
How Can I Leave The Friend Zone?
“Hi Derek, I have some thoughts. I have no trouble entering a room to make friends with everybody there. On that same note, I have no trouble sitting a person down for a serious talk, either, and I truly enjoy both counts. I don’t do any of this in a superficial or glib way, either. I happen to love social interaction and conversations, in general.
However, when it comes to love, I have this problem of always being the ‘friend’. I’m sure you hear this problem a lot, but I struggle with it a lot. Sometimes, I feel so trapped by my overall social abilities because I simply do not get it. I’m very cool. Today, a person even called me a ‘legend’ and I have absolutely no trouble meeting new people. However, whenever I need to close with a girl I like, there seems to be something about attraction that I simply don’t fathom. As you mentioned before, you couldn’t find the missing puzzle piece. That’s how I feel. I have this whole social interaction puzzle in front of me, but I can’t find that one piece. I have no idea what the piece even is, but I don’t understand it. What are the obvious friend zone signs that I am missing?
I’m sorry that this was vague and long, but it’s true. I do not understand it. I don’t really expect you to solve this for me, most of all because I wasn’t too specific on the subject, but I do hope you can send me on the right path. That would be great. I already have Shogun Method, by the way, which I found phenomenal, so I don’t need more methods. I have all of it. I just don’t understand that one puzzle piece. Sorry this was long. If you actually read all of this, I truly appreciate it and I also appreciate the work you have already done for the male community in dealing with this particular part of life.” – Christopher F. from Columbus, OH
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
This is what I understood from that email: if you are a ‘legend’ yet still have trouble with the friend zone, then you just have to add more sexual tension to your game. It seems that your main problem has something to do with women not seeing you in a sexual manner. They see you as friends or something else. So try this out:
Next time you find yourself in the company of a girl, use a ton of incidental touches. This means brushing your skin on her without her knowing that you did so on purpose. For example, you can protectively hold her hand as you cross the street. Overall, touching will express yourself very well to her.
Am I Stuck In The “Friend Zone”?
“So, if we touch each other, but don’t kiss or have sex yet, would that still be considered the ‘friend zone’? Supplementary question… how to stop being a nice guy?’ – Bobby M. from New Rome, OH
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Well, you are basically stuck in the “friend zone” if you aren’t getting anywhere with a girl at all. This usually isn’t that big of a deal, but if the girl has been in your life for several years now and you still haven’t gotten anywhere with her, then you definitely need to concentrate on sexual tension and touch her more. This answer also applies to your supplementary question about being a nice guy.
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