How To Get Over A Girl You Like Who Doesn’t Like You
Want to learn how to stop obsessing over a girl?
She might be a crush. Or she might be a woman you can’t have.
Or she might be a girl you like who doesn’t like you back.
Whichever variation applies to you, obsessing over a girl is a common problem. In Shogun Method, new clients come to me all the time with the same problem: “Derek, I’m obsessed with a woman.”
Well, let’s solve the problem once and for all, shall we?
This Shogun Method guide will show you:
- What the underlying cause of your obsession is
- What NEVER to do about it
- And what to do instead if you want success and happiness in love and dating.
Let’s hop to it.
Table of Contents
Introducing Oneitis
Your problem – obsessing over one woman – is so common that it has a proper name in dating circles.
It’s called “oneitis.” (Pronounced one-itis.)
Oneitis is the condition of being too obsessed with one woman to notice any other woman around you.
And its primary symptom? Steadily worsening emotional suffering:
- You can’t stop fantasizing about her
- The more you think about her, the more desperate you feel
- Your obsession gets in the way of work, sleep, and general enjoyment of life
Needless to say, oneitis is something you MUST get rid of ASAP.
The challenge? It’s not that easy.
Tackling oneitis is a twofold approach:
- You’ll first need to learn what’s CAUSING it;
- And secondly, you need to know how to CURE it.
Let’s take a look at Step #1.
Why You Get Oneitis
So why did you get oneitis in the first place?
Oneitis is caused by a flaw in the human mind. It’s a flaw that operates this way:
“The more you do something for a person, the more you like them.”
If you’ll notice, it’s the opposite of common knowledge. Normally, you’d expect to like a person more if THEY did things for you, not the other way around.
In reality, the opposite is true.
In psychology, this well-documented mental flaw is called the “Ben Franklin Effect.” It was named after the American Founding Father who noted it more than once in his memoirs.
In your case, your mind is subconsciously operating that way:
“I’m working so hard to find ways to win her love. That means she MUST be special.”
But is that even true?
When Oneitis Becomes Critical
Now, it’s normal to have a LITTLE oneitis.
After all, ours is a monogamous society. When you’re new to the dating game, you tend to set your eyes on only one woman at a time.
What’s NOT normal is this: When you’re STILL obsessing over a woman even:
- After she has already rejected you
- If she’s been playing hard-to-get for MONTHS
- If she’s already (very) happily taken
- After she has already put you in her Friend Zone
- If you haven’t spoken to her for the longest time
If any of the above (or similar) applies to you, then that’s a bad sign. It’s a sign your oneitis has spiraled out of control.
You’ve thought about her so much and done so much for her that she’s become incredibly VALUABLE in your mind…
…even if she’s really not.
And as a result, your emotional suffering gets worse and worse.
The oneitis has got to stop before it kills you.
How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone
Here’s how to cure oneitis: You need to snap back to cold, hard reality.
And the reality is this:
She’s NOT that special.
In fact, she’s probably just like most other girls around the world… with her own flaws, ugly habits, and skeletons in her closet.
You’ve just brainwashed yourself into thinking she’s special.
Also, just in case you think she’s “the one” for you…
…she’s NOT that, either.
Cold, hard reality time: There’s no such thing as “the one.”
At any given time, there are thousands of women in the world who would be NEAR-PERFECT GIRLFRIENDS for you.
That’s hundreds, or thousands, of “the ones” for you.
And chances are she’s NOT one of them.
Here’s what you need to understand: The good things you believe about her are probably not true.
They’re just a product of a mental flaw that’s been hard-wired into you and every other human on the planet.
The good news?
It’s a mental flaw you CAN overcome.
Overcoming Oneitis
To overcome oneitis, you’ll need to understand ANOTHER fact about your mind:
That your mind can only hold one conscious thought at a time.
And that one thought should NOT be about her… or any other woman, for that matter.
Instead, start filling your mind with things that improve YOU as a man.
Fill your mind with thoughts that:
- Increase your sense of manliness
- Increase your sense of strength
- Increase your sense of dominance over women
- Increase your attractiveness to women
- Increase your control over your life and relationships
In other words, you’ll need to start building mental strength and mental fitness.
Mental Strength And Fitness
Mental strength is your CAPACITY to control your beliefs and feelings.
Mental fitness is your READINESS to face challenges to your beliefs and feelings.
To build mental strength, you’ll need to:
- Know and respect the intellectual differences between men and women
- Know how the female mind works when it comes to love and attraction
- Know how to trigger feelings of irresistible attraction in women
To build mental readiness, you’ll need to:
- Know that women WILL test and challenge you
- Know how to respond to these challenges and tests in ways that make them more attracted to you
- Learn how to NOT be affected by the outcomes of your interactions with women
The Two Ways To Build Mental Strength And Fitness
The normal way to build mental strength and fitness is to practice.
You go out there, you meet lots of new women, you get rejected a bunch of times…
…you get rejected a few times, you make an embarrassing mistake or two…
…and over time, you learn from your mistakes, and you get mentally stronger and fitter.
This approach has a significant drawback though. It might take YEARS before you start seeing some real success with women, especially if you’re new to the game.
What’s worse, the failures can be discouraging. Too often, I’ve met men who tried building their mental strength and fitness through practice…
…but after a string of rejections, they give up and start settling for less than what they want.
That’s why I suggest you take the FAST way to build mental strength and fitness.
And that’s by mastering Mind Control.
Mind Control gives you both the mental strength AND fitness to become the kind of man EVERY woman wants all to herself… even if you’re not quite there yet.
Mind Control = Total Control
The happiest, most successful guys out there – the guys women LOVE…
…are ALL masters of Mind Control, whether they know it or not.
They simply understand that when it comes to dating, it’s NOT about what YOU think about women.
It’s about what WOMEN think about YOU.
And Mind Control makes women think and feel ALL the right things about you:
- That you’re the strongest guy they’ve ever met
- That you’re the sexiest guy they’ve ever met
- That you’re the most dominant guy they’ve ever met
- That you’re the most charismatic guy they’ve ever met
- That you’re the most exciting guy they’ve ever met
…even if you’re completely new to the dating game.
Tired of oneitis?
Tired of suffering emotionally?
Want to be in TOTAL CONTROL of your love life for a change?
Then I invite you to learn Mind Control today by joining my Online Masterclass on Mind Control.
You can sign right up by clicking below:
Request Full Access To Online Masterclass
(NOTE: Use your best e-mail address when signing up. It’s where I’ll send your Invite Ticket as soon as you pass our screening systems.)
So remember: If you’re obsessing over a girl, you’re torturing yourself for nothing.
Because it’s not what you think about a woman that matters.
What matters is what WOMEN think about YOU.
My advice? Don’t fill your mind with women.
Instead, fill your mind with the stuff that makes women WANT you.
And Mind Control is the fastest way to do that. Here’s the link to my Masterclass again.
Onward and upward,
P.S: What was the worst thing your oneitis has ever done to you? Tell me your story in the comments section below.
Roxic Damien Bach says
Conechwa Sensei Rake!
Actually let me start by sharing my oneitis experiences with you. This is the main reason why I got into shogun in the first place and how I became a the shogun myself. I know what its like being in that state of mind of having oneitis everyday of your life. Its like a disease, you can’t do away with it no matter what you do! You cant stop thinking about this girl! She’s in your dam head daily, all the time!
Day in day out. He’ll it is the most horrible condition ever developed by our brains. It is so bad that it has infected my career academically, my appetite, my lack of resting, and he’ll to make things matters worse!!!….. I get nightmares! I’m serious, this is no joking around here. I’m sharing this because I want people to know how serious oneitis really is! Ive never faced something so critical in my life. Obsessing over the same women is NOT healthy for anyone. Not for me at all. It is a real bitch! Sometimes I say to myself she was never real, never really existed in my life. I wanted to believe everything was just a sham. A joke, a mistake In my life for meeting this person….everything went down hill from there. Yes as of today. I chose to be a shogun and learn as much as possible about the female psychology, brain, and so forth. It is not recommended that anyone to be so obsessed by some girl. Til this day oneitis still comes back to me every now and then…im glad I read this article that master Derek wrote here. It has NOT been easy for me to do away with this illness. In fact just driving by her work place and seeing her white car parked by her hospital brings BAD vibrations and bad memories. Boy….i really wish I wouldnt be making this so sinister and painful for anyone to read. It can really drive a man crazy to the point of blowing up and getting completely depressed. I figured this would be the only way out of all this pain, angry that I have had for a long time. I feel better just letting it out of myself here. No matter what I use in the SM core. It still comes back to me, but I’m not going give up this battle so easily. I know I can over come this oneitis thing, but it will take some part of me to become the shogun that I need to be around women. Probably this is the reason how I became the dark shogun. I have all the courage coming for the material that I have read. Thats why I never stop reading anything from the shogun method core. It can really help those who need the knowledge the most. As I’m sitting in my dark room surrender by four walls I know that inside I will over come oneitis and learn to use mental and fitness to carry on my journey as a shogun. My question to you sensei should I complety stop passing by her work place once in for all before this gets any worse that is??? Thank you for reading my long painful/ stressing message. I hope you read this and share this with the your students and coaches. Thank you…arigatogozaimashita