From William Jett (via email)
Hello Derek, I’m looking for a bit of advice. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me last week. We kinda fell off within a week or two and she broke up with me. We talked for 8 months and dated for 4 months. She said she doesn’t know what she wants and she is confused. I asked her if there is another guy and she said no. I’m her first serious boyfriend by the way. During the breakup, she offered to be friends and I completely declined it. She told me she doesn’t want to completely lose me, but I said: “Go find what you want and when you decide what you want to do with us text me, go find yourself and I will be doing the same”. I haven’t contacted her ever since. Most contact she has with me is seeing me post pictures on my social media. Although no direct contact. I believe she got too comfortable with me and lost attraction. I naturally made myself hard to get and when we started dating I made myself easier cause we are finally in a relationship but maybe that’s also wrong as I can see. I would like to work things out before I start using the Shogun Method on every girl I see, any advice to come from this breakup? Can you teach me how to get my ex-girlfriend back from another guy? It’s only been a week so far. Thank you.
Derek Rake :
Zero contact is great. You’re doing the right thing.
Asking her to “find herself and go find what she wants” is a mistake. You should never give her the opportunity to come back to you. It’s never a good thing to give a woman “choices”.
Right now the best thing to do is to use the Shogun Method on other women. This will take the edge off a little, and at the same time opens up other opportunities for you. Meanwhile, if you want, you can use ReSeduction on your ex.
Thank you, Derek, although I kinda want to work things out with her. I’m not going to throw myself at her like I mentioned, I am following the no contact rule. If she decides to text me or contact me, What would you recommend? Within a week if I hear nothing should I contact her and use implanted commands ? What do you recommend if I would want to have her back? I’m fine with moving on, but I would also like the power to fix this. I want to make the choice. Please teach me how to make your ex want you back. Thank you.
If I do want her back, but she is not sure what she wants, should I be more commanding (make it my choice, not hers)? Should I make her feel happy about us and anchor to myself using implanted commands. If that’s the case, my additional question would be, how would I make her FEEL that being with me is the best thing to do. Any guidance ? Thanks
Derek Rake :
You’re thinking too far ahead now. Wait until she contacts you. If she doesn’t, we’ll figure out what to do.
Anyhow, starting to use Implanted Commands would be good. At the same time, “moving on” should always be in the works already – you don’t want to be hung up with one particular woman. I know this is harder to do than to say, but that’s what you need to do.
Alright, thank you, Derek for the advice. I highly appreciate it.
Derek, last advice, I’m sorry if I am being annoying. I just want to hear your advice and wisdom on this one. There is a lot of fish in the sea, but I want this fish particularly. I concluded that she broke up with me because she lost attraction towards me, and at one point I fucked that up.. Just like you said, a woman cannot choose who to fall in love with, it’s based on her emotions. She lost emotions towards me. The break up was not a train crash, I acted mature about it. I didn’t cry about it, nor cursed her out or anything.
Derek, she has a cousin that lives with her, which likes one of my good friends. they talk but nothing serious at all. I took the risk and trust my friend to be the middle man. Asking “when are we all going to hang out again” towards her cousin, and he let her cousin tell him the news.. From what he got she refuses to contact me because I told her “I don’t want anything to do with you” (i said that rejecting her friendship). She said, she doesn’t see me the same way because of how I rejected her… women are weird, she was the one that broke up with me, what the heck lol. From my perspective, she doesn’t want to contact me, because I rejected her friendship the way I did, but I think she feels like that because I distant myself from her faster than she expected. She probably expected me to be needy and understanding about being friends with her and the break up… And now she is trying to fight the feeling to contact me since I dropped her so fast. I haven’t contacted her or her cousin at all.. nothing. To add on to that, her cousin has been trying to force her to contact me and she refuses for that because of how I rejected her friendship. I told my friend to end the convo with her like this.
“Tell her that I said, they can work this out. Go with whatever feels right. They’ve been talking for a while now, they had memories and moments, and they can’t let this break them apart. I don’t know if (name), will give him another chance. But I do know they need to talk about it. I am going to talk to him tomorrow and see what happens.
I tried to add implanted command, and not only that make her think about me, our moments.. bring up some positive thoughts and negative with the breakup.
From their perspective, I’m going to deny talking to my friend about it.. hide my intentions and my thoughts. and give it 3 to 5 days and talk to her if she hasn’t contacted me, Derek. She might just think I’m moving on, and it looks like she doesn’t know how to feel about it… or waiting to see if I’ll ever text her… in conclusion, I am going to give it a try because you never know, but I would like your opinion, your advice, your tips.
If she does not contact me, I am going to ask her to see me in person… being in person opens up a lot of feelings.. gives me a chance to use implanted commands, and body language.. build attraction.. at one point she was madly in love with me, and I wasn’t at all… so I know for a fact she was, it isn’t me being a dumbass making myself believe that. everything went down hill when I fell in love with her.. I believe there is a chance. when I do see her, I am going to talk to her, build rapport, a lot of rapport… I am not going to mention the breakup, I am going to build rapport. bring the guard down, and when I build rapport, I will build attraction.. when I feel that I build enough attraction, I will recommend her to rebuilt our relationship little by little. (never ask, women do not know that they want)… My plan is to aim at her emotions.
At the end, I feel like I got this lol, you’ve taught me well Derek. I’m a great student.. regardless sorry for it being so long, but what will help me the most is, what do you think is going through her head?? what is her reflection on what’s happening at this moment… much love and thanks.
Derek Rake :
William – Try to use your friend as a “Pawn”. The tactics inside the Enslavement module inside the Shogun Method should enable you to do this – look for the “Hearsay” technique. You should never directly use your friend to relay messages to her. Instead, get your friend (or the Pawn) to persuade her to get back with you. Remember the gist of the Shogun Method – you must be as oblique and indirect as possible.
You should use Implanted Commands only after you’ve built sufficient Rapport with her: it does seem that you need to rework Rapport a good bit, and that’s why your Implanted Commands are not that effective.
All is not lost. Work the Pawn, and at the same time, rebuild Rapport. Then, move on to Attract as per the IRAE Model.
Thank you, Derek, I’m going to meet in person with her soon, ask her to catch up and talk (build rapport), and then I’ll go into the attractive stage. After I build enough attractive should I demand/recommend us working things back together or leave it for another day? Would it be better if I also build a little rapport over text, or wait til I see her?
Derek Rake :
William – Follow the course and go into Enslavement. Don’t “demand” that she work things out with you. Remember Precondition #2: you must conceal your intentions until the seduction is complete.
Rapport building over text is a good idea. Use TextingOnSteroids while you’re at it.