{"id":6238,"date":"2018-03-24T23:23:29","date_gmt":"2018-03-24T15:23:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/?p=6238"},"modified":"2020-01-17T17:31:55","modified_gmt":"2020-01-17T09:31:55","slug":"rapport-attraction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/rapport-attraction\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Build Rapport With A Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

How To Build Emotional Rapport With The Woman You Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Want to learn how to build rapport with a woman the RIGHT way?<\/strong><\/p>\n

So did \u201cTony,\u201d a 37-year-old bachelor from Arizona. He came to me for help with Lisa, the woman he was dating.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t want to screw this up, Derek,\u201d<\/em> Tony told me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve dated women in the past, but they all friend-zoned me in the end. But I really think Lisa\u2019s the one. I don\u2019t want her to friend-zone me, too!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Tony\u2019s story represents the story of MANY<\/em> single men today…<\/p>\n

They meet a woman, chat with her, build rapport…<\/p>\n

But just when things are getting romantic, she drops the F-bomb.<\/p>\n

(The \u201cF-bomb\u201d is \u201cfriends<\/strong>,\u201d by the way, though the guys tend to mutter a different F-word afterward… as a response.)<\/em><\/p>\n

If you have the same problem with women, then let\u2019s fix that today. Start reading!<\/p>\n\n

The Importance Of Rapport In Attraction<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Those who are familiar with Shogun Method<\/a> already know this, but here’s a refresher anyhow…<\/strong><\/p>\n

All your relationships with women go through four stages:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The Intrigue <\/strong>Stage, when she first feels interested in you.<\/li>\n
  2. The Rapport <\/strong>Stage, where she sees you as a trusted friend.<\/li>\n
  3. The Attraction<\/strong> Stage, where she sees you as MORE<\/em> than a friend.<\/li>\n
  4. The Enslavement <\/strong>Stage, where she falls in love with you<\/a> for life.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    This is otherwise known as the IRAE Model<\/strong>. It\u2019s a core principle of Shogun Method, and it sits at the heart of this guide to building rapport with women.<\/p>\n

    (IRAE <\/strong>is simply an abbreviation of the names of the stages: Intrigue<\/em>, Rapport<\/em>, Attraction <\/em>and Enslavement.<\/em>)<\/p>\n

    And as you’ll see, IRAE theory has got nothing to do with conventional “Game<\/a>” or “Pickup Artist” tricks.<\/p>\n

    Here’s how the IRAE Model works…<\/strong><\/p>\n

    To make a woman fall in love with you, you MUST<\/strong> go through each IRAE stage, in order<\/span>.<\/p>\n

    This means that you must go through one<\/span> stage at a time, and no skipping of any stage.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

    This is crucial… and the next section shows you why.<\/p>\n

    READ ALSO: How To Get Women’s Attention<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Rapport Is Only “Stage 2”<\/strong><\/h3>\n

    What would happen if you tried to build rapport with a woman even before she felt intrigued by you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Here’s what: you\u2019d annoy her to hell.<\/em><\/p>\n

    You\u2019d be like that pushy salesman who won\u2019t leave you even after you\u2019ve said you\u2019re \u201cnot interested.\u201d Not good, right?<\/p>\n

    In the IRAE Model above, notice that the Intrigue Stage comes BEFORE<\/span> <\/strong>the Rapport Stage.<\/p>\n

    Likewise, you can\u2019t move to the Attraction stage WITHOUT <\/strong>building enough Rapport.<\/p>\n

    Imagine how she\u2019d feel if you tried it \u2013 you\u2019d be that creep who started hitting on her after just meeting her 10 minutes ago.<\/p>\n

    Again, not good.<\/p>\n

    So, this is what you must understand:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Rapport is useless in isolation.<\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. To make “rapport building” work for you, you must first develop Intrigue beforehand.<\/em><\/li>\n
    3. “Rapport” is not the endgame.<\/strong> You must quickly escalate so that you can then Attract her to you. There’s no point spending too much time in the Rapport stage at all.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Get it?<\/p>\n

      Next, we’ll look at the basics on how to build emotional rapport with a woman you want to attract.<\/p>\n

      How To Build Rapport With A Woman: The Basics<\/strong><\/h2>\n

      What IS<\/em> rapport, anyway?<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Is it “getting to know each other better”? Well, that’s too lightweight, and is pretty much useless.<\/p>\n

      Here’s a better definition…<\/p>\n

      Rapport is about building an emotional <\/em><\/span>connection.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      You want her to relate to you \u2013 like you understand her better than her friends do.<\/p>\n

      Think of how women talk to their girlfriends.<\/p>\n

      They tell them about their darkest secrets<\/em>. They tell them about their deepest fantasies<\/em>. And these are things they won\u2019t even tell their parents.<\/p>\n

      That\u2019s the kind of rapport you want her to feel<\/em> with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Now, you might be thinking:<\/p>\n

      \u201cBut I DID! She told me her darkest secrets and deepest fantasies! But in the end, she friend-zoned me<\/a>! Why, Derek?!\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Here\u2019s why…<\/p>\n

      The Problem Of “Contextual Rapport”<\/strong><\/h2>\n

      Like the name suggests, Contextual Rapport is the kind that\u2019s confined to a certain context<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      And if you got friend-zoned by a woman, it’s usually a Contextual Rapport problem.<\/p>\n

      Here’s how…<\/p>\n

      If a woman tells you that she only sees you as a “friend”, it simply means this…<\/p>\n

      …that the rapport you shared with her got stuck at the \u201cfriends\u201d context.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      She might have told you her darkest secrets and deepest fantasies…<\/p>\n

      But here’s the kicker. Those are things she only tells her best friend.<\/em><\/p>\n

      And because you didn\u2019t do any more than that \u2013 a \u201cbest friend\u201d is all she saw you as.<\/p>\n

      Bad, bad, bad.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or, this might have also happened…<\/p>\n

      You simply may have spent too much time as her \u201cbest friend\u201d that she\u2019s grown to LIKE you as a friend<\/strong>. Oops.<\/em><\/p>\n

      My advice? Don\u2019t get stuck.<\/p>\n

      If you want to avoid getting friend-zoned by a woman<\/a>, it’s simple – sidestep the Contextual Rapport right from the start.<\/p>\n

      This is how…<\/p>\n

      READ ALSO: How To Argue With A Woman<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/strong><\/p>\n

      How To Build The “Right” Kind Of Rapport<\/strong><\/h2>\n

      So, what’s the formula for building deep rapport with a woman?<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Well, it’s this –<\/p>\n

      The key is to build JUST ENOUGH<\/em> rapport with your woman… and then ESCALATE quickly to the Attraction stage.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

      That way, you will pretty much avoid the Contextual Rapport problem.<\/p>\n

      Think of it this way:<\/p>\n

      You want her to see you as someone she trusts even MORE<\/em> than her best friend.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      You want her to be able to tell you her darkest secrets AND feel romantically attracted to you.<\/p>\n

      That\u2019s how Tony did it.<\/p>\n

      The day Tony went to me for help, I taught him two<\/em> techniques. (You’re going to learn both techniques in this guide.)<\/p>\n

      The first technique is called \u201cVAKSOG Mode Matching”<\/strong>. Let’s see what this technique does next.<\/p>\n

      READ ALSO: Rules For Texting A Girl<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/strong><\/p>\n

      VAKSOG Mode Matching<\/strong><\/h3>\n

      VAKSOG represents the six<\/em> ways humans process information.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      The abbreviation “VAKSOG” stands for:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Visual <\/strong>processing (sight)<\/em><\/li>\n
      2. Auditory <\/strong>processing (hearing)<\/em><\/li>\n
      3. Kinesthetic <\/strong>processing (doing)<\/em><\/li>\n
      4. Somatosensory<\/strong> processing (touching)<\/em><\/li>\n
      5. Olfactory <\/strong>processing (smelling)<\/em><\/li>\n
      6. Gustatory<\/strong> processing (tasting)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Here’s what you need to know about VAKSOG:<\/p>\n

        Most women have two<\/em> to three<\/em> dominant VAKSOG modes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

        (These are the two or three senses they use the most when processing information around them.)<\/p>\n

        The key to building great rapport with her is this –<\/p>\n

        “Match her dominant VAKSOG modes”<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

        For example, if she\u2019s a visual <\/em>person, then you\u2019ll want to communicate with her as a visual <\/em>person, too.<\/p>\n

        When you do this, it pulls a deep, primal emotional trigger in her brain.<\/p>\n

        It gives her the gut feeling that tells her:<\/p>\n

        \u201cWow, this guy really gets me. He must be special. He\u2019s cute, too… I wonder if he\u2019s single and available?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

        Of course, she won\u2019t say that out loud. Instead, she\u2019ll verbalize her interest by saying something like this –<\/p>\n

        \u201cWow, I just met you, but I feel like we\u2019ve known each other for years!\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

        That\u2019s the sign that you\u2019ve built enough Rapport, and it\u2019s time to escalate to the Attraction stage.<\/p>\n

        Real Life Example Of VAKSOG Matching<\/strong><\/h3>\n

        In Tony\u2019s case, he noticed Lisa was a visual <\/em>person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

        He knew it because when telling him about her adventures and stories in life, she\u2019d use visual words like:<\/p>\n