{"id":4902,"date":"2017-11-04T12:52:55","date_gmt":"2017-11-04T04:52:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/?p=4902"},"modified":"2017-11-04T17:57:47","modified_gmt":"2017-11-04T09:57:47","slug":"how-to-get-from-friend-to-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/how-to-get-from-friend-to-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Simplest (And Most Direct) Way To Get Out Of The Friend Zone… Fast!<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Given my job as a Shogun Method coach, guys ask me for advice almost every single day…<\/strong><\/p>\n

And what I\u2019m most commonly asked is this:<\/p>\n

\u201cHow the heck do I get out of the friend zone!?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t feel bad.<\/p>\n

I mean, is there any guy who hasn\u2019t fallen into the dreaded \u201cFriend Zone\u201d?<\/p>\n\n

The Friend Zone Is An “Every Guy” Problem<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In my case, I remember being in my early 20\u2019s, and crushing hard on this art student called Angela.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

She was not that beautiful, I gotta admit that to ya…<\/p>\n

On a scale of 1 (Rosie O’Donnell) to 10 (Charlize Theron), she was perhaps a 6.5.<\/p>\n

And yet… there’s something about her that really captivated <\/em>me.<\/p>\n

Indeed, I was head over heels in love with her. I never felt like that about a woman before, ever.<\/p>\n

(And believe me… every horny clich\u00e9 you\u2019ve ever heard about art students is true.)<\/p>\n

But here’s the thing…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every time I tried to put the moves on her I would hit a stone wall…<\/p>\n

…because according to her we were \u201cjust good friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Jimmy, let’s just be friends. I mean, really, really <\/em>good <\/em><\/strong>friends.”<\/em><\/p>\n

It hurt.<\/p>\n

Looking back today I realize what a fool I was.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I mean screw Angela, I should have moved on immediately.<\/p>\n

But I also realize it wasn\u2019t my fault.<\/p>\n

At that age I had no idea what I was doing with women.<\/p>\n

And if you\u2019ve been friend zoned my advice is to get over her.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I say this because before you can do something about it, you have to let go of the pain… and start thinking logically<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

You see, you can get OUT<\/strong> of the friend zone…<\/p>\n

But it starts with not getting INTO<\/strong> the friend zone.<\/p>\n

(Think of it like Mordor, if you end up there you\u2019re an idiot.)<\/p>\n

READ ALSO: How To Stop Being A Nice Guy<\/a><\/strong><\/div><\/div>\n

Why Do Guys Fall Into The Friend Zone?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Why do women put men in the \u201cFriend Zone?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I could give you a thousand superficial reasons why this happens…<\/p>\n

…but what it all boils down to this particular concept:<\/p>\n

\u201cContextual Rapport\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It’s important for you to understand this, so pay attention, alright?<\/p>\n

Answer this question for me:<\/p>\n

Imagine you\u2019ve just met a woman… what happens?<\/p>\n

Well, you talk to her.<\/p>\n

You talk and talk and talk and find out everything about her, what you have in common<\/em> <\/strong>and so on.<\/p>\n

Slowly, you start seeing all those dreaded friend zone signs<\/a>…<\/p>\n

You ramp things up and try harder<\/em>… but what does that do?<\/p>\n

It turns her into your FRIEND<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There’s nothing wrong with this at all… it’s how long you stay <\/em><\/strong>as a friend to her which brings you all sorts of problems.<\/p>\n

This is what happens if you overdo <\/em>rapport:<\/p>\n

Firstly, if you stay in the rapport stage for too long she becomes comfortable <\/em>with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Remember… if there’s no tension, there’s no attraction<\/span>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Second, building too much rapport makes her think she\u2019s <\/em>the one being chased.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This gives her the power to reject you outright… or at least, put you in the “Friend Zone”.<\/p>\n

And it gets worse…<\/p>\n

Third, too much rapport makes you too much alike<\/em>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

For her to feel emotional and sexual arousal there need to be differences<\/em> <\/strong>between you.<\/p>\n

(These differences are what create sparks and attraction<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

But this can\u2019t happen now because, \u201cyou\u2019re just good friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Fast!<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In Shogun Method speak, you’ve developed “Contextual Rapport” with her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Worse than that, you\u2019re now the sexless nice guy.<\/p>\n

And this means you CANNOT<\/span> escalate, otherwise you\u2019re labelled as, \u201cCreepy.\u201d<\/p>\n

So how do you escape the friend zone<\/a>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Believe it or not, “getting out of the friend zone” is my fucking specialty<\/em>.<\/p>\n

In fact, I\u2019m sort of like the guy from Prison Break.<\/p>\n

I would purposely get myself into the friend zone just so I could break out of it.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

This might sound crazy, but it proves escaping the friend zone is entirely possible.<\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s the secret then?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s simple….<\/p>\n

You have to learn how to communicate directly with the emotional <\/em>part of her mind.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(As Derek Rake has pointed out, female psychology<\/a> is divided into two parts: emotional <\/em>and rational<\/em>. To persuade a woman, you need to appeal to the emotional side of her brain.)<\/p>\n

You’re in the friend zone because you’ve not elicited enough emotions <\/em>out of her.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re just another guy she has great “friendly” conversations with.<\/p>\n

(You\u2019re one of the girls <\/em>basically.)<\/p>\n

So, your first job is to turn her back on.<\/p>\n

To do this you have to “attack” the emotional side of her brain. You’ll do this by “hacking” into her subconscious <\/em>mind.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO: Want A Submissive Girlfriend<\/a>?<\/strong><\/div><\/div>\n

How To Appeal To A Woman’s Subconscious Mind<\/h2>\n

You’ve already know that a woman thinks in two ways:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Emotionally <\/em><\/strong>and rationally<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Let’s push this idea a little further.<\/p>\n

You can communicate with a woman in two ways: consciously <\/em>and subconsciously<\/em>.<\/p>\n

You can think of the subconscious and conscious as hot <\/em><\/strong>and cold<\/em><\/strong>…<\/p>\n