{"id":3829,"date":"2017-09-18T14:23:02","date_gmt":"2017-09-18T06:23:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/?p=3829"},"modified":"2020-01-17T17:31:54","modified_gmt":"2020-01-17T09:31:54","slug":"how-to-save-a-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derekrake.com\/blog\/how-to-save-a-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Save A Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are so many reasons to go downtown to the bar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One reason, of course, is to get a beer. Or maybe something harder.<\/p>\n

Another reason is that, once you\u2019re sitting there with your drink, you never know who you\u2019ll end up talking to.<\/p>\n

Take, for instance, that slightly grizzled good old boy drinking a Schlitz. I sat down next to that guy once. I didn\u2019t even give him a second thought. Not at first, anyway.<\/p>\n

That changed, of course, when we got to talking. His name was Jerome\u2014he went by Jerry\u2014and he hailed from Louisiana. Jerry was a retired National Guard officer. And he had been deployed to New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina back in 2005.<\/p>\n

That<\/em> was one hell of a conversation.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve seen news coverage and disaster movies. But trust me, you don\u2019t know half the story. Not until you talk to someone who actually lived<\/em> it.<\/p>\n

Of course, most people don\u2019t go to the bar for profound historical insight.<\/p>\n

Yeah, sure, single people go to bars to meet other single people. And there are plenty of other folks like Jerry who might not even get a second glance.<\/p>\n

But, sometimes, those chance encounters are the most rewarding.<\/p>\n

You see, Jerry wasn\u2019t at the bar looking for someone.<\/p>\n

No, he was there to get away<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n

On The Brink Of Divorce: Even Green Collars Get the Blues<\/h2>\n

Jerry wasn\u2019t larger than life, not the way you might imagine people like him.<\/strong> He was just a guy committed to helping others.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s really why I liked Jerry\u2014because he was so human. But like any other human, he had his problems.<\/p>\n

And one of those was his marriage<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Jerry was married to Sylvie. She was the love of his life. (And, no disrespect to Jer, she was a total MILF.)<\/p>\n

They\u2019d been happy together for many, many years. But recently, all that had changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe keeps telling me that it\u2019s over,\u201d Jerry confided in me one evening. It was probably our third or fourth chance meeting. \u201cSays she just isn\u2019t happy anymore. That this isn\u2019t the kind of life she wants anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

I decided that I needed to dig a little deeper.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know you all that well, Jerry,\u201d I told him. \u201cBut I know you well enough to be certain that you\u2019re not a quitter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not!\u201d He took an indignant gulp of beer. \u201cBut nothing<\/em> I try is working!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what have you tried?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c… can you be a little more specific?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve tried talking to her and being honest with her. I\u2019ve told her how much I love her. How I\u2019m willing to do anything to make it work. I\u2019ve tried to put her happiness first… seeing how narcissistic<\/a> she has become. I\u2019ve done everything<\/em> she\u2019s wanted and asked me for.\u201d He waved his hand over his shoulder, made a pfft<\/em> sound between his teeth and lip.<\/p>\n

I took a moment to look at the melancholy man sitting next to me, contemplating the foam on his brew.<\/p>\n

Jerry is one of the few people I\u2019ve ever met who is a legitimate hero.<\/p>\n

As a guardsman, Jerry had spent\u2014not to mention risked\u2014his life helping people in dire need. Now Jerry himself was in need of help.<\/p>\n

And he had nowhere to turn. This trained warrior, this defender of the helpless, was himself reduced to utter helplessness.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not Superman. I\u2019m not even a soldier. And I barely know the first thing about disaster relief.<\/p>\n

But I definitely knew all about what was ailing Jerry.<\/p>\n

And I knew that I could definitely help him.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO: Controlling Wife<\/a>? Here’s How To Control Her Back!<\/strong><\/div><\/div>\n

Mission: Saving Major Jerry<\/h2>\n

Jerry didn\u2019t know this, but in the course of developing the Shogun Method<\/a>, I\u2019ve actually done a heck lot of research into female psychology.<\/strong> In particular, I\u2019ve learned much about how it develops and changes over the course of a woman\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

Like I said, Jerry\u2019s a retired officer. He gets a handsome military pension. He also made lots of very smart investments in the past. He and Sylvie are extremely financially secure for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s exactly why Sylvie suddenly found herself so unhappy<\/em>.<\/p>\n

For the past decades, she had played doting wife to a respected and decorated military officer. She had wanted for nothing and enjoyed a very comfortable life.<\/p>\n

And so Sylvie was bored. She\u2019d had safety and security and dignity. Now she had the itch for something different.<\/p>\n

But that was only half of Jerry\u2019s problem.<\/p>\n

The point of my research was figuring out how to deal with situations just like this one. There are very important tactics that must<\/em> be used.<\/p>\n

And, although an exemplary citizen and loyal husband, that is where Jerry had ultimately stumbled.<\/p>\n

A Wrong Turn Down Marriage Alley<\/h2>\n

In trying to save his marriage, Jerry had made three cardinal mistakes:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. He tried to have open, heart-to-heart talks with Sylvie.<\/li>\n
  2. He tried to put her happiness ahead of his own.<\/li>\n
  3. He tried to learn what she wanted from him and then put it into action.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As you may have guessed, none of this really worked for Jerry. And, of course, there\u2019s a reason for that.<\/p>\n

    You see, Jerry was taken in by the usual crappy relationship advice. It\u2019s the kind of shit that you read on dating websites, in \u201chealth\u201d magazines, and rags like those.<\/p>\n

    Trust me, the stuff they peddle is darn near worthless<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

    The reason is simple. Imagine that those sources gave you advice that worked. Then you wouldn\u2019t have any reason to keep reading them for relationship advice\u2014would you?<\/p>\n

    Instead, they give you advice that is guaranteed to fail.<\/p>\n

    You end up alone again. You wonder what you did wrong. And you go back to them to get more advice.<\/p>\n

    In short, your relationship problems are their profit margins. If it\u2019s lucratively broken, why fix it?<\/p>\n

    Pretty sleazy, right? They\u2019re almost as bad as those lame-o “Pickup Artists” (also known as “PUA”s).<\/p>\n

    As we all know, Pickup Artists and their tricks specialize in instant<\/em> <\/strong>gratification. They\u2019re not<\/span> interested in long-term<\/strong><\/em> relationship endurance.<\/p>\n

    And pop dating advice amounts to basically the same thing.<\/p>\n

    Shogun Method is different<\/span>, though.<\/strong> It\u2019s not about scoring a quick fix. It\u2019s all about cementing<\/em> a relationship, permanently.<\/p>\n

    And that sort of romantic superglue is exactly what Jerry needed.<\/p>\n

    READ ALSO: How To Know When Your Marriage Is Over<\/a><\/strong><\/div><\/div>\n

    Can My Marriage Be Saved? (Yes, If You Do This<\/span>)<\/h2>\n

    So, let\u2019s take a look at some more effective tactics that Jerry should have used when marriage trouble first reared its ugly head:<\/strong><\/p>\n