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Rake Interviews Lamont of “Online Pickup Secrets” (Part 3)
This is the third (and final) part of the interview with Derek Lamont of Online Pickup Secrets. The first two parts of the interview could be found here and here.
Derek Rake: You devoted an entire chapter in Online Pickup Secrets on The Second Message that a guy will send to a girl after the ‘approach’. I especially like the section on the 6 email blunders that guys make when they send that second message. What are the mistakes to avoid?
They generally cover the syndrome that most guys get when the successfully receive a response back from a beautiful woman. They think, Oh my goodness! She must be interested in me. I need to start showing that I’m really interested in her! While you must show interest in return - the right kind of interest of course, most men tend to overdo it.
There are generally 6 types of mistakes men do in this area. I’ll cover one of them right now – as a bonus to DerekRake.com readers.
Some guys will do the whole “compliment her looks” thing. I mean, great, she replied to you. But you’re giving her way too much power by saying that you are physically attracted to her.
At this point of the game, it’s overboard and you shouldn’t say anything too positive about her looks just yet.
Women love the mystery, and it’s SO easy to convey mystery through text - so exploit this! Don’t let her know what you FULLY think about her. Not yet, anyway.
Derek Rake: This is really similar to what I teach my students. Never ever comment on the looks of a gorgeous woman – she has heard it many, many times before. You’ll sound just like the other guys – who she has rejected many times also.
Exactly.
Derek Rake: Now about Instant Messaging (IM) game. You have covered this very extensively in Chapter 17 of the book – but could you give us the ‘skinny’ on how to be good at gaming women via IM?
Sure thing, Derek.
The IM game is really a lot of fun and this is where you can easily set up a phone conversation. And I emphasize on the word EASILY.
When you’re running game on IM, remember that setting up the phone conversation is the goal here. You need to open quickly, initiate compelling topics of conversation. You will need to build trust and rapport… and you must do ALL of this before initiating a call to action to start a phone conversation.
I will kid you not here. This really takes time. Don’t believe anyone who try to sell you the ‘silver bullet’ to online attraction success.
The unfortunate fact is that most men rush the trust-building phase. And like real life pickup, you have to look for online IOI’s or online indicators of interest.
Derek Rake: What are the examples of ‘online’ IOIs?
This can range from several things - such as an increased willingness to talk with you, decreased intermission between messages, emotional indicators like “lol” and “haha” that she may convey, etc. That’s really the overall gist of it.
Derek Rake: So you’re saying that after getting the IOIs, you will need to spend some time to build rapport. I can see lots of similarities with ‘offline’ game here.
Exactly, Derek.
However, too many men are just much too impatient and overlook this important rapport building phase. Dude, I know it’s hard when you’re sitting there by yourself with her hot Facebook pictures in front of you. But that’s where all the weaker men fall into the trap.
Derek Rake: Why did you write an entire chapter on ‘Phone Game’? Don’t you think that it is not relevant in a manual on online dating?
It’s actually extremely relevant. The phone is a vital, essential, and necessary step if you ever want to actually MEET those girls that you have approached online. And if you can get to this point and KNOW what you’re doing on the phone, setting up a first meet is so easy.
I honestly can’t even remember a time when I’ve talked to a girl on the phone and NOT successfully built any attraction. It’s really the easiest way to close the deal and many men don’t realize it.
The tips that I tell you in this chapter will help you when talking to ANY girl on the phone – not just ones you meet online. It’s really my secret weapon.
Derek Rake: How about non-dating websites? Social networking websites are all the rage right now. Are these any different from dating websites? I know we have talked a little about Facebook…but I want to know about social networking sites in general.
There are some obvious differences. First of all, it’s obviously takes more effort to pick up a girl on Facebook than it is to pick up a girl on say… Plenty of Fish. This is because many women on Facebook aren’t LOOKING to meet any guys, but yet they get harassed by men all the time.
It can get pretty annoying - I mean, all those guys that are hitting on them are probably creeps who have no idea what they’re doing.
So yes, the approach is completely different. You still need a GREAT profile, but the trust building and the rapport building on Facebook (or MySpace for that matter) is a totally different beast.
Derek Rake: Last question. If there is one thing that a guy can do to be good at online dating immediately, what would be it?
Fix the damn profile!
Too many guys out there have just the most ridiculous, creepy-looking pictures and they don’t bother getting ‘social proof’. It doesn’t matter how good your first message is, if you don’t have the right pictures or the right content in your profile, it won’t even matter.
A girl won’t even think about responding if you haven’t covered this portion of your online game.
Derek Lamont is the author of Online Pickup Secrets – guaranteed to turn your computer into a seduction machine. If you have any questions which you would like to ask Derek Lamont, email me at derek@derekrake.com and I will pass them on to him.
© DerekRake.com and Zen & The Art of Seduction. Go to http://www.TheRakeLetter.com for a free trial subscription of The Rake Letter - a premium e-newsletter featuring the best of the Zen Seduction techniques to help you become better with women.
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2 comments for “Rake Interviews Lamont of “Online Pickup Secrets” (Part 3)”
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Is there a specific section on Facebook game?
i have had many guys saying that you are the best.so i would luv to be the member of the group.And the other thing that guys tend to do in their first date they juss keep saying coment on how the girl looks.