True story: Carlos Xuma once went on a date with a girl who actually CRINGED away from him when he went on hug her good night. It was a nightmarish experience for him, he swore that he’d never go through that again.

Fast forward a couple of years: he’s now a bona-fide expert when it comes to building strong attraction in women the natural way. In this installment of Interviews With Seduction Masters, Carlos shares his valuable experiences in the dating world, and some of his “best of” techniques which help any guy to attract women naturally.

This is an audio interview so click on the “play” button to hear Carlos’ answers for each of the interview questions below. Dig in…

Derek Rake: Carlos, thanks for sparing some time for readers of my blog and The Rake Letter. Tell us - so how did you start out as a dating coach?

Carlos Xuma: “…my mom started giving out dating advice…”

Derek Rake: What defines “Carlos Xuma”? What makes you different from the other dating experts?

Carlos Xuma: “…I teach guys how to bring out the masculinity in them…”

Derek Rake: Your core philosophy of dating is “R.E.A.L Game” – could you tell us more about this?

Carlos Xuma: “…my methodology for guys to be better with women…”

Derek Rake: I noticed that a major body of your work is focused on inner game, for example, your Alpha Lifestyle program series. What’s your stand on inner game vs outer game? Do you recommend the use of routines or canned lines?

Carlos Xuma: “”…you have got to use routines or canned lines correctly…”

Derek Rake: Cool. The “Yin Yang” principle is something that should be familiar to readers of The Rake Letter - it’s the cornerstone of what I teach. Now moving on… give us the patented Carlos Xuma idea or technique that a man can quickly do in order to be immediately better with women.

Carlos Xuma: “Here’s a Universal Opener which works all the time…”

Derek Rake: What do you think is the biggest sticking point of someone just starting out in dating and attraction? What would be your best advice that you’d give to a guy who just started dating women?

Carlos Xuma: “”…guys just don’t know where to start…”"

Derek Rake: You’ve helped thousands of clients since starting out in this business in 2002. Could you share some of the success stories of your students?

Carlos Xuma: “”…transformation is possible for every guy…”

Derek Rake: Lastly, tell us more about your program, the Bad Boy Formula. What can someone expect to learn from it?

Carlos Xuma: “…bad boys turn women into love junkies…”

Derek Rake: So what’s next for Carlos Xuma? What do you want to achieve – in the dating coaching world, and in life?

Carlos Xuma: “…getting my message out to guys…”

Derek Rake: Thanks, Carlos. Any last words for our readers out there?

Carlos Xuma: “…take back the Bad Boy power…”

Here’s the link as mentioned by Carlos: http://www.derekrake.com/badboyformula . If you’re a guy who’s sick and tired of letting the Bad Boys steal all the beautiful women and leave you with nothing, what you’re about to read will amaze you. Link opens in a new window.

Be a Bad Boy instead of a Nice Guy

Got any feedback or questions for Carlos? Leave your message in the Post A Comment section below.

In this latest installment of Interviews With Seduction Masters, we talk to Mark Belmont, who recently launched “The Handsome Factor” which is a program which teaches men how to improve their physical appearances dramatically.

What attracted me to Belmont’s work is that the topic of physical appearance is one of the most neglected in the seduction knowledge base. His system can be found here - The Handsome Factor.

Derek Rake: Mark, the topic of physical attractiveness is not really well discussed by many dating gurus. Why do you think this is the case?

Hey Derek, good talking to you again. There’s a good reason why physical traits are not talked that often. Many dating gurus say that you can attract anyone even though you are as ugly as Jabba The Hut.

Derek Rake: Haha!

As you know, Derek, that’s not true at all.

Derek Rake: Of course.

You got to be at least somehow pleasant to look at to even start to attract women. And of course, if you are good looking, you’ll find it much easier to get women, or anyone for that matter, to like you.

Derek Rake: You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt or Danny LC Tan, but if you’re a decent looker then you’ll find it much easier to get women to like you.

Definitely, Derek. Looks are definitely important!

Derek Rake: I teach my students that women place far less importance on a guy’s looks than other factors such as security, emotional attachment and social standing.

I agree with you 100%! But still, looks is something that factors into their decision. They buy the whole package, so to speak, and if you do not work on your physical appearance, you will not be doing yourself any favors.

Derek Rake: Here’s something to think about. If you’re physically attractive AND you’ve mastered approaching, flirting and escalation techniques… then you’ll truly be unstoppable.

I’d say that most people drastically underestimate the importance of looking great.

Derek Rake: Oh yeah. Anyway, how much can a guy do to actually improve the way he looks?
There are tons of things men can do to enhance their appearance.  Most guys haven’t even thought about it!

There’s a few things that you CAN’T control – at least not without spending a fortune on plastic surgery or other sketchy things like that.  But my program doesn’t take you down that road.  Instead, I focus on the many things you CAN do to improve your looks.

And trust me, there’s a lot of things you can do.  My own personal appearance transformation required that I look after a huge number of things:  everything from skin care and hygiene down to hairstyle and fashion.

If you flip open a men’s fitness magazine, you’ll notice that the models all have different facial features, different body types… but they also share a lot of similarities.

You’ll probably notice they’ve all got perfect skin, great hair, excellent fashion sense, athletic physiques….

Derek Rake: …and these things are well within your control.

Exactly!

Derek Rake: And so I presume that your product takes care of all these things?

In designing The Handsome Factor, I wanted to take all the guesswork out of the equation.  I figure guys want simple, easy-to-follow instructions on how to enhance the way they look.

So my program is essentially a step-by-step guide to taking care of all these things.  In plain English, I’ve outlined pretty much everything you can possibly to do improve your look without surgery, pills, or other gimmicks.

Derek Rake: Sounds good. Give us a brief run-through of your program.

Well, Derek, I thought you’d never ask…

The program has a couple of different components, including a 240-page ebook… so if I were to write out all of the things it covers, it would take me ages!  But to whet your appetite, here are a few examples of the sorts of things I cover:

• How to buy high-end clothes without spending a fortune.
• How you can get perfectly straight teeth without braces.
• What women really think about chest and back hair - and how to make yourself look like a fitness model.
• Ways to safely and quickly remove moles and birth marks.
• The one thing you simply must take into account when choosing a hair style.
• How to wear clothing that hides any flaws in your body.

There’s also other stuff that I can’t tell you right now - I’d reserve some stuff only for the eyes of my customers!

Derek Rake: Dude, come on.

OK, I’ll let you in on something. There’s a list of five things a guy absolutely must check before he leaves the house. If he does this, I’d wager that his success will skyrocket by at least 500%. Failing to do so, he will probably be heading for the worst night of his life.

Derek Rake: Interesting stuff.

I’ve got people calling in and thanking me for the list. It’s pretty satisfying to know that I’m helping guys around the world get laid!

Derek Rake: Being good looking will also help a guy in other areas of his life I presume. So there’s more benefits to this than just getting laid.

Oh yeah. A lot of people find this hard to believe, but countless scientific studies have shown that beautiful people are more successful and happier than their unattractive counterparts in all areas of life.

On average, good-looking people have healthier relationships, more friends, better careers, higher incomes, and longer life expectancies.

So enhancing your appearance is about way more than just picking up chicks, it’s also about permanently improving your life.

Derek Rake: I read somewhere that this stuff has been scientifically proven. So it’s hardly empirical anymore.

There are teams of scientists who have studied this kind of stuff.  I’ve read all their articles and scholarly reports. It’s pretty boring shit but it’s all very concrete.

Unattractive people are disadvantaged at every turn.  All human beings have a genetic predisposition to avoid less attractive people.  It’s a type of prejudice, and it even has a name:  “Lookism”.

Derek Rake: I reckon that this prejudice also applies when you’re picking up women.  If you’re an ugly dude, then women will have subconsciously written you off as a possibility before you even open your mouth.

Hell yeah. It’s unfortunate, but it’s so true.

Mark Belmont’s system, “The Handsome Factor” is now available as a digital download. Quick buyers will be able to get exclusive bonuses, including personal coaching and the proprietary Body Transformation Tracker software. Click here to get started.

Last Saturday, Mr X (of “The Player’s Guide” fame) came up to Singapore and we caught up over tea on a sidewalk cafe on Orchard Road.

He told me this story about two guys, Mark and Sam, who he coached in his super-exclusive, $3,997-a-year Player’s Guide Inner Circle in Santa Monica.

“Mark looks like a smelly bum off the back alley in the slums of Compton, no sh*t,” Mr X says. “And he’s not exactly super smooth either.”

“Well, at least he could pay you nearly four grand a year for coaching,” I replied.

Mr X laughed out loud. “He works as a computer techie, and he earns some $30,000 a year. Not exactly a baller, you know. But setting aside a few bucks out of that per year to sort his life out is a no-brainer.”

I nodded, knowing how much value Mr X provides for his Inner Circle clients.

Mr X continued, “Sam, who hailed from up north in Brentwood, is nowhere better than Mark. He’s really not much of a looker, and perhaps worse, he’s a janitor at one of the malls in downtown Santa Monica. But there’s something about him that makes him a little different…”

The one little thing that made all the difference

“Mark thinks that his failure of women is because that he’s a nerdy IT techie, and the fact that he stammered when he got nervous.

“When he joined us only last month, he told me that it’s hard for him to get ahead because he thinks that he is not attractive nor rich.”

“This is typical,” I replied. “Many of my clients think that too. That’s before they read How To Seduce Out Of Your League, where I busted all the common misconceptions that a guy would have, and completely reframed their perceptions about women.”

Mr X laughed again. “Of course, your book is required reading in my Inner Circle. In fact, the other guy Sam, who I made to read your book *5 times* before I let him loose.”

“The difference between Sam and Mark is that Sam actually looks forward to meeting women. He is a naturally fun guy, and likes to flirt with women. Instead of focusing on his negatives, he focuses on what he likes about himself.”

“No prizes for guessing who’s bagging the chicks then,” I smiled.

Mr X replied, “It’s Sam, of course. Mark’s still learning the ropes, and I don’t blame him. But Sam is having the time of his life, already seeing many beautiful women.”

“I can totally relate to Mark though,” I said. “I used to keep thinking about the things about myself which I totally hate. I thought that I had to perfect myself even before I should go out and make my first approach.”

“That’s a common mistake, ” Mr X offered, “And, you’re not alone in this. Guys actually think that you have to have certain traits in order to make women like them.”

“Money, muscles and more money!” I said with a chuckle.

Mr X turned serious. “It’s the lie of the century. You absolutely do not need money and good looks to get a good girl to like you.”

The Magic Ingredient Of Seduction

“I remembered that when I focused on my negatives, my mood turned bad. Being bitter and resentful, I sent out terrible vibes to the women that I meet, ” I said. “I can’t say that I was totally surprised when they rejected me!”

“But as I learned the stuff from the Zen Master, I was able to become more positive. Just like your student Sam,” I continued. “And guess what, dude. The results that I got was amazingly fast!”

Mr X remarked, “That’s what I call the Magic Ingredient of Seduction. I don’t want to sound like a pseudo-science nut, but positivity really attracts positivity. On the other hand, if you’re negative, don’t be surprised that only negative women flock to you.”

I laughed, “How true. I remembered that only thrashy women wanted to sleep with me. Geez.”

Mr X smiled. “I tell my Inner Circle clients that whenever they feel good about themselves, then women will naturally notice them. And once they master up the techniques I share with them in the Inner Circle, women will naturally be attracted to them.”

I nodded in full agreement.

+++

You don’t need to fork out $3,997 to join Mr X’s Player’s Guide Inner Circle, but you can get the manual and audio program that Mr X use as the core syllabus to improve his clients drastically. Click here for this resource.

Also, tell me what you think about this blog post, and any questions that you may have. Mr X might be able to reply to any questions you have here (he just boarded his flight home a couple of hours back) - just give him a day or two, ok?

In this instalment of “Interview of Seduction Masters”, we talk to Mark Redman, the author of Conquer Your Campus.

Mark is currently with Christian Hudson, who was instrumental in setting up and running Charisma Arts with Wayne Elise (better known as “Juggler” in Neil Strauss’ book The Game). Mark’s book, Conquer Your Campus, is widely hailed as the de facto standard in ‘college game’ and at the time of the interview, is still the only book in this particular niche.

In this interview, Mark shares his unique insights on college pickup, and how it is different from meeting and seducing women in general.

Derek Rake: Mark, thanks for agreeing to an interview. Firstly, how is picking women up at college is different from the real world? What are the important differences?

Hey Rake, happy to take a sec and answer some fun questions.  OK, first difference is that you don’t want to think about picking up girls in college, simply because basically a small social environment where the guys who hook up.

The 20% guys who are getting laid consistently are ‘preselected’.  Like, they need some game when they start talking to a girl, but their ability to build attraction is more about their pre-selection than it is their “attract game.”

Derek Rake: So the trick here is to be the 20% guy?

Absolutely. So the trick is to learn how to be that guy - or at least act like one - so that girls are attracted to you.

Derek Rake: Got it. Now, I really like your “tribe mentality” theory (page 23 of Conquer Your Campus) and how it is applied to a college setting. However, these could be easily used at any social setting - at work, for example.

Yeah, man, I see what you mean. I’ve been out of college a year now and I definitely see it here.  And in general if you think about it, anywhere that there’s a semi-closed social circle (small towns, work, hobby cliques, scenes) you basically have the same thing, so you have to know what the scene’s all about, like what it is to be at the top of the scene – and how to work it in your favor.

Derek Rake: In your book Conquer Your Campus, you’ve drawn out a very interesting parallel between the clubbing scene and college fraternities. Any quick tips on how to game fraternities?

Yeah, get in one or become friends with them.  I mean, you want to show up, be cool, try to hook the guys at the house up with something – some beer, some girls, etc. 

Show them you respect what they’re doing at their party.  Ask if they need any help.  It’s like an initiation ritual where you gotta show that it’s worth it for them to let you into their club.  You see where the mindset shift is here?

Derek Rake: Yes. It’s the “what you can do for them” mindset rather than going to the place to look for women for sex.

Exactly. It’s not about showing up at the party and gaming the girls.  It’s about showing up at the party and already knowing - or at least being in with - the girls because you know the guys throwing the party.

Derek Rake: Excellent point. Mark - in some parts of your work, you get heavy on inner game - for example, being the 20% Man and development of the Four Traits (pages 56 onwards). This is markedly different from other products on dating and seduction - which rely very much on routines and lines which are very ‘tactical’ in nature.

Well, Rake, as you know me, I was a routine guy for the first six months I was at school. everyone thought I was weird.  So I worked with my mentor to fix that up a bit, and things got good.  So that’s the biggest reason - its what helped me get girls. 

And I just kind of distilled that stuff down.  I don’t know if I’d totally call it inner game - like it’s not like NLP to build confidence - but I guess its just ‘how to act and be’ rather than ‘what to say’.  Once guys get the ‘how to act and be’ stuff (which ppl tell me I’ve nailed in terms of teaching it in Conquer Your Campus) they often just say great things.

Derek Rake:  You get into an awful lot of details in some parts of the book - there’s pinpoint specific advice on how to meet college girls on the streets, bars, coffee shops, libraries and even at pre-parties! Care to comment more on this?

You need different strategies for different scenes.  So if you know how to play them (kind of like what I said before about frat scenes but with more details and step-by-step stuff) then you can just rock in and get it right.

Derek Rake: Specifically on developing rapport with college girls - any tips to share, and pitfalls to avoid?

Special for DerekRake.com readers…here are two quick tips. Firstly, talk about social things - where they hang out, where they went out last weekend, stuff like that.  And of course, sports are huge if you go to a school big on athletics.

Second tip - only discuss their major to take an opportunity to bust on them. So if a girl says “English” you can be like “huh, that’s funny ‘cause you seem to speak it pretty well.”  She’ll do one of those “har har aren’t you funny” things and then you roll on.  Most guys dwell on it so the fact that you’re not trying to build rapport on the topic says a lot. You don’t want to dwell on her major for too long when you’re getting to know her, it’s not something that 20% guys discuss.

Derek Rake: You have got a chapter on online game in your book. Why is this component essential when it comes to attracting college girls?

Facebook tells a girl if you’re “in” or not.  It doesn’t take a lot to make it work for you, I mean, you don’t typically want to be meeting girls on Facebook.  And to be honest, I dropped off Facebook my senior year, so once you get to a certain point it’s all good. 

But there’s certain thing you have to get right if you’re on it because any girl who’s interested in you is going to be Facebook stalking you.

Derek Rake: Lastly, Mark, what is the one thing that any guy can immediately use to see instant results in their college ‘game’?

I always say this: have fun.  Seriously!

Look, there’s a template in a girl’s mind about how a guy who is attractive in college acts.  She kind of has this notion going into college and there’s four or five traits that, if you exhibit them, will create a strong match in that template.  And attraction just happens. 

But without those traits, it doesn’t matter what material you’re using. she won’t be attracted to you.  And the biggest, most important trait of an attractive guy is someone who has tons of fun wherever he goes.  He’s making stuff happen and he’s engaged with everyone and he’s smiling.  He’s not in a corner being too cool.  He is tearing it up in the middle of people until he picks that one girl who he wants to rock with for the night.

So if you can go out with your goal being ‘have fun’ you will meet more girls and you’ll build more attraction.

Mark Redman is the author of Conquer Your Campus – the definitive manual on dating and seduction on college game. My verdict: absolutely essential if you’re in college, but the principles can be used effectively in any social setting – especially the Tribe Mentality and 20% Man tactics. A very good addition to your seduction arsenal.

If you have got any questions, leave your comment on this blog post and we’ll answer them.

Click here for Conquer Your Campus 

As part of our ongoing series of Interviews with Seduction Masters, we talk to Stephen Nash (aka “PlayboyLA” from Neil Strauss’ book The Game) who spills the beans about the infamous “Project Hollywood” and talks about why he doesn’t recommend ’sarging’ while giving away his top two techniques on picking up women.

Stephen has recently released an audio and ebook set called The Natural Art of Pick-Up.

Derek Rake: Stephen, you’re well known as the character “Playboy” from Neil Strauss’ expose of the seduction community, “The Game”. How did you end up joining up Mystery & Co at Project Hollywood?

Well, I had taken a Real Social Dynamics (RSD) workshop in Nov 2003, and impressed Tyler and Papa.  Also, I got to meet Mystery as he was helping on the program.  Towards the end of the final night, Nick (Papa) sat me down and pitched the whole idea to me:

“Move to LA, move in with me, Mystery and Style, and live with the greatest pick-up artists in the world.  We’ll be pulling chicks left and right, partying, the house is awesome – it’s Dean Martin’s old mansion – we’ll be going to the hottest clubs and events in LA…it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity”

I asked him if I could sleep on it, and the next day I realized I HAD to do this.  It was truly a unique opportunity – and contrary to popular belief – I don’t regret it.  I called him the next day and agreed to sign-on as the 4th member of the house (Herbal signed on a few days later).

I knew that the house would become PU central, and that cool guys like 26 (aka Extramask in “The Game”) and Sickboy would be around a lot.  I also knew that I would REGRET not doing it later on.  After 9/11 – and witnessing it live in NYC – I decided that it was not acceptable to pass up unique, interesting and possibly insane opportunities!  So, I went for it.

In fact, my mom and step-dad had to refinance their cars just to help me with the enormous security deposit.  I was barely able to wing it financially, and scraped by while I was out there.

Derek Rake: Cool. Now tell us a story from Project Hollywood that has not been shared before.

Ha!  The one I really like was when we were all involved in the Double Your Dating Mastery Program.  RSD at the time would gather up 15-20 or so guys each night to take out and show the ropes live, in the field.  One evening, we were at the house preparing to leave for the Strip, when Mystery showed up with nothing to do.

We invited Mystery to join us, and he gladly obliged since he’s always up to play the game.  But, as a challenge to himself, he went out in a lame pair of jeans, grey t-shirt, and a pair of white New Balance tennis shoes! 

Derek Rake: Let me get this straight. So Mystery went out with no peacocking at all?

Yes, Rake - no peacocking at all.  But you know what?  He was still GREAT.  That was a fun night.

I can also add that The One (Cameron Teone) and I pulled girls back to the mansion on four consecutive nights…that was also pretty fun.

Derek Rake: Sounds like a riot! Who is the one person who is the MOST influential in shaping you up as a dating expert? He or she could be from the community, or not.

Well, the author David Deida makes a helluva lot of sense to me. 

Derek Rake: Yeah, I am a fan of David Deida as well. I think “The Way of the Superior Man” is a must read for all the guys out there who want to improve themselves. I cannot recommend it too highly.

Yeah man. Deida’s work and writing focus a lot on the spiritual nature of men and women in relationship.  It’s very interesting, and practical.

Derek Rake: OK. Who else?

I also surround myself with guys who are naturally successful with women and who are in long-term relationships, since that’s what I always wanted, and have now – 2 years running.  So, the kudos there goes to my friend Tom who is incredibly insightful into the female psyche and always willing to offer his thoughts and ideas on specific scenarios.

Derek Rake: Can you share with us the most important thing that you learned from him?

One takeaway I can offer – very often us guys feel we need to DO something about our women, relationships, or even a woman we are dating.  Less is more, do nothing – he taught me.  Let them come to you.

Very empowering.

Derek Rake: Now let me ask about your company, Cutting Edge Image Consulting. What does your company do?

Well, after Project Hollywood, I returned to New York and decompressed for a few months.  That was such an overwhelming experience, that I needed some time just to wash my brain a bit.  But, Mike (Sickboy) and I sat down over dinner one night and realized that we had something very solid to offer the community.

Basically, we were sick of routines, and preferred a more natural style of attracting women.  So, we abandoned scripts and gimmicks and instead focused on teacing social skills.  Though I do teach specific things to say, I only offer them as training wheels.  Guys leave my seminars, 1-on-1’s and products with SKILL that they can apply in their lives.  To me, this is what helps a guy – not a toolbox of training wheels.

We also wanted to offer help to guys in developing a strong sense of personal style and in developing their lifestyle.  Lifestyle is so key, as if done smartly, a guy need never go “sarging” again. 

Derek Rake: Interesting. So you’re advocating “not” to sarge in order to get women?

Exactly. In fact, if you have to sarge to meet women, you’re doing this wrong. 

(It is) far better to spend your time developing yourself, doing interesting things, and expanding your world view, than to be out in clubs/bars picking-up girls.  Trust me, if you live in a way that is healthy and balanced, using some of the ideas I offer, you’ll have no problems meeting women.

CEIC therefore is the company that stresses these three aspects when working with a guy.  It’s not enough to merely teach social skills, without crafting a look and lifestyle that will support them. 

Derek Rake: Tell us more about your program, The Natural Art of the Pick-Up.

The Natural Art of the Pick-Up is my newest program, which I am very excited about.  It contains over 8 hours of audio and an accompanying ebook.  Once you purchase it, you download it and are listening to my voice right away.  The program is my magnum opus of every social skill I’ve ever known to meet and attract women.  It’s designed to teach you the structure of a smooth and natural pick-up, and the skills within each part of the structure. 

It’s EASY, most guys say.  I’ve really simplified the science and math here, and made meeting women EASY and SIMPLE.  That was my goal.  The nice result for guys is that they don’t have to become a weird “PUA”, but rather just grow into a more attractive version of themselves.  VERY cool stuff!

Derek Rake: Is this a “Natural Game” product? How different is it from other dating products out there?

(The product is) a way for me to walk you through the learning curve to finding your own natural style of meeting and attracting women.  I hand you all the social skills, structure, and philosophy you need to be effortlessly meeting women ASAP.  There are exercises, and even an ongoing support forum for when you bounce up against your sticking-points…we’ll get you through them quickly, if you’re willing to take some action.

As far as how it differs from other products…you know, I’m not really sure as I’ve never listened to/watched/read any of them.  I do know that there is a lot of nonsense out there, and that there are very few of us who are truly good at this art. 

Nowadays, it is so easy for guys to operate a PUA business from their house – and consequently, they are not vetted.  The question I continue to ask is – WHO ARE THESE GUYS?  You know?

Derek Rake: Very true.  Anyone can pass off as a “pickup guru” on the Internet nowadays.

Exactly.

(My system) is a clear, concise and coherent look at “pick-up” without the weirdness and with an edge.  No more Mr. Nice Guy – sure, but don’t become a creep either.

Derek Rake: I also remembered that you wrote an ebook on How To Get A Girlfriend.

That’s my primary ebook.  It drills down into the 7 essential skills for meeting the right woman for a relationship.  It does cover approaching, and social skills ad nauseum. 

If you’re a guy who wants to understand more deeply this 3-fold attack, this is the book for you.  You’ll be left with a strong clarity on what you need to do to start attracting women into relationships.  It’s an art.

Derek Rake: Apart from ebooks - do you also offer other programs? Say, audio?

Yes.  Natural Attraction is a 7-Day audio program which expands upon the ideas I set forth in How to Get a Girlfriend.  There are interactive worksessions, interviews, and a thorough breakdown of some of the best “attract” skills known in the community.  This is a take-home bootcamp designed to totally remake your style and image, while loading you up with techniques for getting girls.

Derek Rake: How about coaching?

Rake, glad you asked! 1-on-1 with Stephen Nash – this is where you and I sit down for 6 hours and break everything down – social skills, social life, social circle, lifestyle, personal look – and remake it all from the ground up. 

It’s an enthralling and intense 6 hours.  For the first 2 we go through your lifestyle and rebuild things from where you are, while tossing away A LOT that is distracting and discouraging you. 

The next 2 are all about social skills and meeting/attracting women.  I lead you through numerous exercises, and demonstrate each skill so that you leave with some sturdy tools to put to use right away.  Last, we go shopping and me and my team pull together new, more attractive and cool looks for you begin using in your life. 

This is a massive overhaul, and you leave the session with an ACTION plan.  And no, I don’t pull any punches.

Derek Rake: Stephen, you have consulted for thousands of clients over your 5 years of work in coaching. Could you share with us some of the success stories of your students?

Sure thing, man. Here are a few I think are useful.

Nick was a highly intelligent guy, with a fascinating career, and a variety of outside interests in the world.  Yet, he wouldn’t share any of it with anyone.  He saw himself as a “private” guy.  We worked to get him to change his definition of that, so that he could simply allow others into his truly fascinating world.  Now, he hosts piano concerts in his home, and meets women in lounges/bars all across the city – using the skill set I teach.  He represents the ideal blend of using lifestyle and “pick-up” to expand ones social circle, and to attract the right kinds of women.

Ishmael was a former PUA who simply could not keep a girl interested in him for longer than 10 minutes.  He had no ability to connect with women, and to do so intelligently.  After learning my structure, and the skills within that structure, he’s now got a girlfriend and has been with her for nearly a year.  Also, she’s VERY hot.  I won’t say her name, but she appears in magazines a few times/year. 

Stu is a lawyer who started listening to my podcasts about a year ago.  He hired me for a 1-on-1 to help him with meeting women.  We did an overhaul on his lifestyle, his “in field” skills and his look, and he’s now dating 2-3 women per week (last I heard) and was moving to Hawaii!  He’s my model student for merging lifestyle, social skills and personal style into a newly defined and attractive “image”.

Last, there’s Taylor.  Taylor is a young guy, right out of college, who was a total nerd and a virgin.  He and I worked together, and in particular, on his personal look/style.  My hunch was that he would feel differently about himself if we overhauled how he looked – one thing about younger guys – many can change their attitude and outlook rather quickly if you simply show them physically that they CAN BE attractive.  He’s now a DJ, and has an LTR…he’s my best rags-riches story by far.

Derek Rake: Let us sample your goods. Give us the ONE thing that a beginner MUST do in order to become better with women.

Easy. Start approaching women – RIGHT NOW. 

It is the best way to boost your self-confidence, change your mental reality, practice social skills, learn from experience and possibly get a date…and all in ONE ACTION. 

There is way more to this than approacing, but I’ve rarely met a guy who can really pass through the learning curve of truly finding and owning the power of choice in his life if he’s not willing to approach a woman.

It’s a rites-of-passage in my opinion, and I focus A LOT on it when working with guys and in my products.

Derek Rake: David DeAngelo has got his patented “cocky funny” concept. What’s the defining Stephen Nash pickup technique?

The first technique is what I call “The Teaser Opener” – a flashy, fun approach technique that I teach guys.  It’s very easy to execute and never comes off as scripted.  Also, it is highly fliratious and confident, and women really love it.

The second technique is called “Baiting” – the word I use here sounds a bit manipulative, but it truly is not.  This is the most empowering skill for men that I teach.  It’s where a man leads the conversation, naturally screening her, while she’s placed in the role of asking questions (seeking rapport). 

It’s basically learning the gift of gab that naturals do…well…naturally, but with the “PUA” edge of bringing her more and more into my world.

Derek Rake: Finally, your take on the community. Is it any better, or worse, than it was, say three years ago?

I’d have to say it has gotten worse, man. 

(The community is) so watered down with very mediocre coaches.  Most of these guys are good at marketing, but who really knows if they know what they are talking about?  My advice to guys – really do your research on who is marketing to you and trying to persuade you to purchase and participate in their products. 

There are very few that I’d recommend, most of the others are rewashing others’ techniques and or just offering very basic help.  Given this phenomenon, I think the new guy is likely more confused and less helped than he was 3 years ago. 

My advice is simple. Find a guy you feel you can trust, and whose approach appeals to you, and then go with him.  Buy all of his stuff (within reason).   Unsubscribe to the 25 newsletters you’re reading every day, and drill down into one guy’s teaching. 

The really good guys will get you to where you want to – they might all lead you down differing paths to your goal – but they’ll get you there.  And that’s exactly the point.

Stephen Nash’s “Natural Art of The Pick-Up” is now out. Click here for more details on this comprehensive audio and ebook set.

This is the third (and final) part of the interview with Derek Lamont of Online Pickup Secrets. The first two parts of the interview could be found here and here.

Derek Rake: You devoted an entire chapter in Online Pickup Secrets on The Second Message that a guy will send to a girl after the ‘approach’. I especially like the section on the 6 email blunders that guys make when they send that second message. What are the mistakes to avoid?

They generally cover the syndrome that most guys get when the successfully receive a response back from a beautiful woman.  They think, Oh my goodness!  She must be interested in me.  I need to start showing that I’m really interested in her!  While you must show interest in return - the right kind of interest of course, most men tend to overdo it.

There are generally 6 types of mistakes men do in this area.  I’ll cover one of them right now – as a bonus to DerekRake.com readers.

Some guys will do the whole “compliment her looks” thing. I mean, great, she replied to you. But you’re giving her way too much power by saying that you are physically attracted to her. 

At this point of the game, it’s overboard and you shouldn’t say anything too positive about her looks just yet. 

Women love the mystery, and it’s SO easy to convey mystery through text - so exploit this!  Don’t let her know what you FULLY think about her. Not yet, anyway.

Derek Rake: This is really similar to what I teach my students. Never ever comment on the looks of a gorgeous woman – she has heard it many, many times before. You’ll sound just like the other guys – who she has rejected many times also.

Exactly.

Derek Rake: Now about Instant Messaging (IM) game. You have covered this very extensively in Chapter 17 of the book – but could you give us the ‘skinny’ on how to be good at gaming women via IM?

Sure thing, Derek.

The IM game is really a lot of fun and this is where you can easily set up a phone conversation.  And I emphasize on the word EASILY.

When you’re running game on IM, remember that setting up the phone conversation is the goal here.  You need to open quickly, initiate compelling topics of conversation. You will need to build trust and rapport… and you must do ALL of this before initiating a call to action to start a phone conversation.

I will kid you not here. This really takes time.  Don’t believe anyone who try to sell you the ‘silver bullet’ to online attraction success.

The unfortunate fact is that most men rush the trust-building phase.  And like real life pickup, you have to look for online IOI’s or online indicators of interest. 

Derek Rake: What are the examples of ‘online’ IOIs?

This can range from several things - such as an increased willingness to talk with you, decreased intermission between messages, emotional indicators like “lol” and “haha” that she may convey, etc.  That’s really the overall gist of it.

Derek Rake: So you’re saying that after getting the IOIs, you will need to spend some time to build rapport. I can see lots of similarities with ‘offline’ game here.

Exactly, Derek.

However, too many men are just much too impatient and overlook this important rapport building phase.   Dude, I know it’s hard when you’re sitting there by yourself with her hot Facebook pictures in front of you. But that’s where all the weaker men fall into the trap. 

Derek Rake: Why did you write an entire chapter on ‘Phone Game’? Don’t you think that it is not relevant in a manual on online dating?

It’s actually extremely relevant.  The phone is a vital, essential, and necessary step if you ever want to actually MEET those girls that you have approached online.  And if you can get to this point and KNOW what you’re doing on the phone, setting up a first meet is so easy.

I honestly can’t even remember a time when I’ve talked to a girl on the phone and NOT successfully built any attraction.  It’s really the easiest way to close the deal and many men don’t realize it.

The tips that I tell you in this chapter will help you when talking to ANY girl on the phone – not just ones you meet online.  It’s really my secret weapon.

Derek Rake: How about non-dating websites? Social networking websites are all the rage right now. Are these any different from dating websites? I know we have talked a little about Facebook…but I want to know about social networking sites in general.

There are some obvious differences.  First of all, it’s obviously takes more effort to pick up a girl on Facebook than it is to pick up a girl on say… Plenty of Fish.  This is because many women on Facebook aren’t LOOKING to meet any guys,  but yet they get harassed by men all the time.

It can get pretty annoying - I mean, all those guys that are hitting on them are probably creeps who have no idea what they’re doing.

So yes, the approach is completely different.  You still need a GREAT profile, but the trust building and the rapport building on Facebook (or MySpace for that matter) is a totally different beast.

Derek Rake: Last question. If there is one thing that a guy can do to be good at online dating immediately, what would be it?

Fix the damn profile!

Too many guys out there have just the most ridiculous, creepy-looking pictures and they don’t bother getting ‘social proof’.  It doesn’t matter how good your first message is, if you don’t have the right pictures or the right content in your profile, it won’t even matter. 

A girl won’t even think about responding if you haven’t covered this portion of your online game. 

Derek Lamont is the author of Online Pickup Secrets – guaranteed to turn your computer into a seduction machine. If you have any questions which you would like to ask Derek Lamont, email me at derek@derekrake.com and I will pass them on to him.

This is the second part of the interview with Derek Lamont of Online Pickup Secrets. The first part of the interview could be found here.

Derek Rake: Moving on to juicier stuff now…what would you say is the BIGGEST factor in whether a guy will be good in online attraction?

Having at least half a brain! Not to sound condescending, but I’ve taught so many men -  all of different shapes, sizes, ethnicity, and everything in between -  on how to pickup beautiful women online.  They have all become at least moderately successful – with a couple totally hit the ball out of the park.

So really, if you can type and you know how to speak the same language the girls you’re targeting, you can do it.  I mean, trying to pickup a girl in a totally different language isn’t going to work, I suppose… although I’ve never tried it.

Let’s face it – some guys just don’t like approaching women in public. I still do ‘cold approaches’ as such, but approaching women online is a real and amazing alternative.

Derek Rake: Now that we are talking about approaching women “offline” – is picking up women online any different from offline?

Yes, of course!

Derek Rake: How so? Reason I am asking is that the theories and techniques in your book Online Game (Prize Theory, Binary Theory and Hierarchy of Needs) could easily be used in picking up women ANYWHERE – and not just in the online world.

Glad you asked!

The biggest difference between real life pickup and online pickup is the conveyance of physical attributes and voice tonality.  I mean, in real life, you could say something and convey a particular emotion through your body language and voice tonality.  Online, you have no such luxury.  So therefore, you have to compensate for this.

Does this mean online pickup is HARDER?  Sometimes… but surprisingly, the majority of the time it can be much easier. 

However, I do think it’s important to get in the correct frame of mind before picking up women ANYWHERE.  That’s why I go through all that psychological, confidence building material in my program.  That alone has seriously helped a lot of the guys I’ve taught be better with women in general.

Derek Rake: I especially liked Chapter 13 (Establishing Contact With Potential Singles) – it is probably the most complete guide on taking the first step on ‘approaching’ women online. Why do you think that this is the most important step in one’s endeavour to approach attract women online?

First impressions matter very much… in real life AND especially online.  But if you fumble in real life, it’s very easy to recover.  Online, it’s quite difficult due to the lag time in between messages. Therefore, it is absolutely critical that your opening message compels a beautiful woman to message you back.

Men that don’t manage to do this will never be successful with women online. A lot of attractive, high quality women get anywhere from 10-50 messages a day! 

So if your first message doesn’t interest them, it will go straight to their trash can. 

After that, it’s extremely hard to build rapport at all.  The opening message has GOT to be perfect.  I went to huge lengths putting as much work in this section as possible in my program because it really is so important.

Coming up next in the final part of the interview: Derek Lamont talks about the importance of the “Second Message”, and how the mastery of Phone Game is essential to picking women up on the Internet. Click here for the final part of the interview.

Click here to download Derek Lamont’s Online Pickup Secrets

Derek Lamont is the creator of the Online Game: Internet Attraction System which is widely used by men to attract and seduce women on Facebook, MySpace and online dating websites. There is definitely a shortage of quality online attraction advice – and Derek Lamont’s system is widely lauded as one of the very few which is seen to have ‘cracked the code’.

I’ve known Lamont for some time now, and I can personally attest to the effectiveness of his online dating strategies. I am absolutely not an authority on online seduction – so I’ve asked Lamont to give us some useful pointers for all DerekRake.com readers on the topic of online attraction.

Derek Lamont’s a top guy, and I am not saying that because we share the same first name. =)

Derek Rake: Lamont, you’ve come to known as one of the very few who has ‘cracked’ the code of online game and attraction. How did you get started in online game?

Well, I started off as a complete and utter failure. And I’m only half joking.

You see, Derek, I did not experience any success in the dating world – the number of times I was rejected and got laughed off my face was simply staggering. So I figured that online dating would be a suitable for me because I didn’t even have to worry about rejection at all then. Great!

To my disappointment, I did not experience any success at first because I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing. It sucked…real bad.

Derek Rake: Dude, we can all relate to that, surely. How did you go from the proverbial ‘loser’ online to what you are today?

I pretty much did the same thing every other guy was doing and approaching women in the same “creepy” way… and I didn’t even know I was doing it.

The turning point came when I met my amazing friend who was an online attraction MASTER. I won’t be exaggerating much if I call him “nasty-looking” – he looked like a midget with the face of Flea from Red Hot Chilli Peppers and a receding hairline. But yet, he always somehow managed to get the women he wanted.

I literally arm-twisted him to reveal to me his secrets on how to attract, meet, and seduce women on online dating websites and Facebook. We spent about 14 hours glued on the PC while he showed me the whole shebang – the profiles he set up, the messages he sent, and the chicks he gamed online.

I was hooked ever since that fateful day.  It became my passion to figure out how to get the girls I saw on my screen into my bed.

Derek Rake: So was that how you came up with the idea of writing “Online Game”?

Yeah, but there’s more to that.

You see, I then got together with some of the craziest online daters in the world who have mastered the art and science of online attraction.

Derek, these guys are geniuses, plain and simple. I decided to write this book because I was so blown away by what I had found – and thought it would be useful to any guy who wants to find women to date online.

Derek Rake: Interesting stuff. Now how is your book different from the other products that are on the same topic – picking women up on the Internet? There’s so much rehashed information out there that it’s ridiculous.

Tell me about it. I’ve got virtually every online dating product out there in the world today – and they all more or less talk about the same things – very cookie-cutter, and virtually indistinguishable from one another.

But having said that, the readers of my book will be hard-pressed to compare my system with the others because of these reasons -

1. All those other programs don’t extensively cover Facebook pickup like my program does. Facebook is the biggest gold mine for hot, high-quality women since college frat parties were invented – no doubt about it. If you’re going to look for women online and missing out on Facebook – you’re going to do yourself a huge disfavor.
2. I offer an audio course which complements the book – covering some deadly effective strategies which will blow your results through the roof. Think of this as online pickup on steroids.
3. I also offer free personal coaching to each of the purchaser of the book. As there’s only that many hours in the day, this bonus is limited to only the early purchasers of the program. At the time of interview, I am still able to take on new students.

I strived to make the best, most effective online attraction system out there on the internet, and I think I’ve accomplished that.

Coming up next in part 2 of the interview: Derek Lamont talks about the BIGGEST factor that will make or break a guy’s success in online dating, and how mastering Instant Messaging is crucial in online pickup.

Click here to download Derek Lamont’s Online Pickup Secrets

In his seminal ‘underground’ book on seduction “Real World Seduction“, Swinggcat described a technique called “push pull”.

In a nutshell, the technique is about the process of pushing the girl away and thus create the ’space’ to pull her back. The full details of this powerful technique are between the pages 55 and 66 in the book Real World Seduction, but if you’d like the skinny, try the Zen Seduction analogy.

Think of pushing and pulling in the terms of the Zen principle of balance, or “Yin and Yang “. The two perfectly complements each other, and the mere existence of one would essentially define the other.

Pushing is associating an action with pain , while Pulling is about pleasure .

Every time you ‘push’ a girl away, you create space to ‘pull’ her back to you. A few rounds of pushing and pulling would create an emotional roller coaster would create an amazing psychological effect on women. It will make them feel compelled to chase you due to the ‘illusion’ of suspense that you create and through the mixed signals that you send.

Powerful stuff indeed!

Push-Pull via “Intentional Undermining”

Now let’s take a look at some stuff which you can use almost immediately. One of the techniques which works on the principle of Push-Pull is called “Intentional Undermining “.

“Intentional Undermining”, said Swinggcat, “is the art of doing or saying one thing and then doing another thing to completely undermine the first thing.”

One example of this technique is what he called the “undermining compliment”. For example, when a girl kisses your neck, say “I really like it when you kiss my neck. It feels great. You are really good at this.” This is the “pull” part of push-pull.

Now here comes the “undermining” part where you “push” the girl. Say, “Well…actually there are three other girls who are equally good too. You’re really one of the best.”

Can you see where this is going yet?

Push-pull is all about bringing her emotions up and down and then up again. For those who are familiar with hypnosis, this is similar to the “fractionation ” process where the subject is hypnotized into a trance and then brought back out again in order to ‘deepen’ the experience in subsequent trances.

Swinggcat further outlines in the book the other push-pull techniques (Revealing & Concealing, Good Cop Bad Cop, Guilty Conscience). There are ample examples given, even though I thought he could do better with a basic primer on the techniques (with explanations on inner game and other basic aspects of pickup).

I would still recommend this book to the enthusiastic beginner, although those who will benefit most from the book would definitely be those who have chalked up some experience in the field of seduction.

And Swinggcat’s book, Real World Seduction deserves as much acclaim (if not more) than David DeAngelo’s somewhat overrated Double Your Dating , there’s no doubt.

This “push-pull” seduction tactic out of Real World Seduction is easily worth the price of admission itself. 4.5 stars out of a maximum five.