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A Surefire Way To “Hit If Off” Immediately With Women
Question from a reader of The Rake Letter (http://www.TheRakeLetter.com) -
Hey Derek,
When I tell women that I am still single, most of them would express surprise as I am considerably attractive and also relatively successful (Ivy League degree, promising investment banker). However, women usually stop returning my calls after a couple of dates. Also, when I step into the bar or club, I would get almost no notice at all.
Why? This is driving me nutters.
Phillip C.J. - Minneapolis, Minnesota
—x–
Hey Phillip,
Here’s the deal. It looks like you are not able to generate attraction in the first place, or unable to make the attraction last once you get the ladies out for dates.
The problem is that you may just come across as every other guy who they have dated. Ther
e could be nothing particularly special about you which makes you stand out from the rest.
So what can you start doing? You must develop rapport with the women who have agreed to go out with you. Even as early as the first date itself.
One effective way to develop rapport is through banter. It’s the most effective way to get a woman attracted to you, bar none. And the good news is that once you developed your bantering skills, you can use it on ALL women - they all react positively to bantering. ALL of them.
Here is an excerpt from “How To Seduce Out Of Your League” on the easiest way to create quick, deep rapport with a woman -
How are most friendships formed? It starts when you find out that the other person has something in common with you. That the two of you are alike in some way, when you share a common interest.
That relationship becomes even stronger when you begin to realize that the other person understands you, that’s he’s going through the same challenges that you are. Nothing creates a bond faster between two people than sharing something in common, especially a common pain or frustration.
Before you can get a person to do what you want them to do, you have to first meet them where they are “mentally”, and see things from their point of view. Only from there can you lead them towards the destination you have chosen.
This is a powerful strategy that master marketers and motivators use to lead people.
The easiest way to begin to create that bond is to ‘ask’ her (open-ended) questions about ‘herself.’ The most favorite subject for most people are “themselves.”
Show her that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know her better. And don’t fake it.
Actually be interested. (Be different from most other guys, remember? You have to keep that theme going the entire time. You have to establish your uniqueness from the beginning and then continue to build on that.)
Remember what I said earlier… you’re not just “pretending” to be a better man. You’re actually “becoming” a better man.
Source: ”How To Seduce Out Of Your League“, page 51 (Section 7.10 - Create Instant Rapport)
Finally, if you don’t get noticed in clubs, it has to do with your body language more than anything else - either you come across as lacking in confidence or just plain uncomfortable. Fix your body language, and you’ll get attention from the ladies in no time.
© DerekRake.com and Zen & The Art of Seduction. Go to http://www.TheRakeLetter.com for a free trial subscription of The Rake Letter - a premium e-newsletter featuring the best of the Zen Seduction techniques to help you become better with women.
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8 comments for “A Surefire Way To “Hit If Off” Immediately With Women”
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Thanks Rake…I’ve got the same problemo until I sorta fixed the body language stuff. Was told that I leaned too much into the girl and looked too eager.
Learned to look nonchalant and laid back even though I was a nervous wreck when I was talkin to the ladies…it worked very well.
Fake it until ya make it, as they say
If you wanna be good at body language, you gotta check out ‘Cajun’ - search for him at YouTube. He was featured in Keys To The VIP and he totally killed the other chap!
The tips are really helpfull. Derek i think you are really helping
Hey Derek,
Good stuff. Tried the open loop tension tactic and it worked like a charm. However, I have the problem of maintaining the conversation - once all my canned lines are used, I run outta topics. Any clues?
Cheers - Kwabena
Cajun’s real good, but he was unevenly matched in that episode of KTTV.
Try Sinn. He’s the absolute master!
Not to be confused with Sin from The Game. He’s a different dude
Guys - it’s 90% body language and 10% everything else. Why do the gurus still recommend canned routines?
Canned routines are like training wheels - they will help you to get up to speed, but once you’re in a relationship, it’s wheels off.